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Please help. How much should I be paid?

(27 Posts)
Tinkerbella23 Mon 21-Jan-13 09:34:27

Hi all.Im all new to this site.
I have been working for a family for over a year now,I use to work every weekend Friday 5 o'clock until Monday 9am for a 9 month old and a 4 year old, I was paid £200 plus £10 petrol for the whole weekend baring in mind I was up during the night several times,some weekends up most of the night so very tiring,it was agreed that once I had been there 3 months my wage would go up to my agreed £250 but I then only did every other weekend as I to a job during the week so then Friday 6pm until Sunday 1pm and I then got £150 plus £10 petrol as I take the children out most of the day in my car. All this I believed to be very little pay for all that I do and the household jobs I do to help out also.however I never mentioned this is my only income and I have just recently found our I'm 3 months pregnant,I have told mum this and she weeks later has now told me she is pregnant and only 4 weeks behind me so when the baby comes she wants me to do every weekend again so. Will then have to leave my baby with my fella and will be around the same times Friday 6pm until Sunday 1pm possibly later. The children when I will have to return to work will be 6 weeks old,2 years old and 5 years old.
I have told mum I want a pay rise and she said she will do and not to worry about money and she will sort it when I return after having my baby.
I have been worrying and having restless nights thinking about the money situation and wondering how much I deserve and how much I should be paid.baring in mind a 6 week old on its own will be very hard work and constant throughout the day and night and the nearly 2 yer old still wakes 3-4 times a night for juice or dump.
Please advise.i live in the Lancashire area,childcare qualified and experienced and soon to be first time mum of my own.
Help and advise really appreciated.

nannynick Mon 21-Jan-13 09:43:09

Proxy parenting we often say on here is around 150 per 24 hour period, though can be more if children are up a lot during the night.

Do you have a written statement/contract?
What is happening about maternity pay?

Do you really want to be caring for someone else's 6 week old baby when you are about to give birth / shortly after giving birth?

Runoutofideas Mon 21-Jan-13 09:48:43

What about your own maternity leave? You will have been looking after your own (probably not sleeping well) 10 week old, who you will then have to leave to look after a 6 week old plus the other two. Are you planning to breastfeed your own baby? Will you really want to leave your baby and your partner every weekend? Doesn't leave much time to do your own "family stuff". I think all of this needs to the thought through, as well as the money side of things.

Tinkerbella23 Mon 21-Jan-13 09:58:56

Exactly this is what has been worrying and going through my head,she asked me if I was leaving and then how long I expected to have off as she will only be having 6 weeks off work,I didn't realise at the time she was pregnant so I said I will have a few months off and carry on doing every other weekend to stay in touch with the children and the extra money will help out as my fella will be the only full time worker.
It's really putting me under a lot of pressure as I've never had a a baby so I don't know how I'm going to cope or how my pregnancy will be.
Unfortunately I don't have a contract so I do not get maternity pay,If I don't work I don't get paid,I don't get holiday pay,all is paid cash so I'm not protected in any way.
I however work for a agency during the night shifts so I may be entitled to a maternity grant but I haven't properly looked into this yet.
I'm finding things very hard and recently just turned down a 6 month nanny job which I would have been paid £9000 In that time with holiday pay and use of a car,when explained this to the mum she was miffed with me for thinking of leaving and said Im not secure with that job as I am secure with hers and its not good for the boyfriend and I have been arguing slot about this as he thinks ideally this job will be good for me as ill be with my baby Monday to Friday during the day and he is more than happy to take over at weekends although I'm not so sure.

Tinkerbella23 Mon 21-Jan-13 10:01:43

Another parent I have spoken to said I will more or less be a maternity nanny with the baby as ill be up possibly every 2 hours and she will not be paying for it.
Another parent said I should charge £300 at the very least but I don't know if this is likely she will pay this and is this asking too much?

Flisspaps Mon 21-Jan-13 12:26:07

If you're self employed, you should be entitled to Maternity Allowance.

That's payable for 39 weeks. Look into it, see if you're eligible.

Do you really need this job? I can't say I'd be willing to leave my newborn at home so I could look after someone else's baby every weekend sad

Flisspaps Mon 21-Jan-13 12:29:18

I bet she didn't want you to leave! No contract, no maternity or holiday pay, low rates. Do you pay tax as a self employed person (I'm guessing that she doesn't pay your tax as she would for a nanny, from the lack of contract/basic employment benefits and rights)?

Iggly Mon 21-Jan-13 12:32:04

Why did you turn down the other job?

Tinkerbella23 Mon 21-Jan-13 12:46:42

I turned it down as me and my boyfriend spoke about the job and he thought the weekends will be better for us for the I haven't been as I use to get is all done for me with my other job and I have 2 part time jobs through the week and I pay tax on both of them and I pay a lot of tax on both of them.
I don't really know what rates to charge once the baby is here but I won't be working any other job then so ill need this one.its going to be very hard but I'm willing to try.
As a apparent how much would u be expected to pay for the hours and the children I'm looking after with the newborn?

Flisspaps Mon 21-Jan-13 12:52:32

But won't you qualify for maternity pay/maternity allowance through your other (taxed) part time jobs? confused

If so, you wouldn't need to work for this lady.

Tinkerbella23 Mon 21-Jan-13 12:55:44

Yes I should do and ill definatly look into it but even so it's not a lot I think it's just over £100 a week.
I want to provide the best for my family and I want to be paid what I should be as a nanny so that's why I need to see what I should be getting paid,I've never hd one sick day off during the whole year and she pays me £7.50 if I do babysitting extra ,I just need to know what's reasonable to charge?

Flisspaps Mon 21-Jan-13 13:00:03

43 hours (Friday 6pm - Sunday 1pm) for £150 is less than £3.50 per hour.

I'd personally expect to pay NMW - £6.19 per hour x 43 = £266.17

I'd probably expect to pay more than that, given that there are nights involved too!

Tinkerbella23 Mon 21-Jan-13 13:04:56

So I can argue this with her and hopefully get at least that,I told her about the other job and she said once her baby is here finances will be goo and they would rather pay good money for good childcare instead of cut corners so I wanted to try and push £300 minimum as its 3 children one being a newborn plus every site I look on it says nanny s should charge more for weekends.its hard when I settled so low in the first place but I have to provide for my family like they do for theirs I just hope she understands and sees my loyalty and commitment to her family.

Runoutofideas Mon 21-Jan-13 13:31:03

I would push for a contract and legal employment out of her too while you are discussing it. They way she is currently paying you is illegal and the taxman is clamping down on cash in hand nanny arrangements at the moment.

If I were you, I would look for a nannying job where you can take your baby with you, once the baby is say 6 months old.

Why is your partner so keen for you to work weekends rather than in the week? I don't know many men who would be pushing for this type of arrangement with sole care of their baby every weekend...

Flisspaps Mon 21-Jan-13 13:31:44

That's just what I'd expect to pay - I bet she won't!

Tinkerbella23 Mon 21-Jan-13 13:35:55

He just thinks it would work well for us as I get to be at home during the week and he finishes work at 2 o'clock so we can spend the time together that way.
Ideally if I didn't need the money I would love to stay off with my child for as long as possible but we can't live off just my boyfriends wage andi don't know if I would be entitled to benifits if I decided not to work?i need to look into it as ill be off for 3 months with no money unless I get maternity grant and still that's not enough.

Runoutofideas Mon 21-Jan-13 13:44:28

I don't know about the benefits etc but it is worth looking into now, so you know what the situation is.

Sounds like actually the weekend thing could work for you as a family as your boyfriend finishes work so early in the week and is happy to look after the baby at the weekends. (Do you think he really has any idea what he is letting himself in for though. You don't want to start this job then come back to find him saying he finds it hard and doesn't want to do it anymore...)

I still think you need to get your employer to set it up legally, and you should be paid at least minimum wage for the hours you do. I'm not sure that in the long run though, this will prove to be the right job for you... Hope it all works out well.

Flisspaps Mon 21-Jan-13 13:56:06

I agree about getting everything on a legal footing.

AndBingoWasHisNameOh Mon 21-Jan-13 14:16:29

I would also look at getting a new job where you can take your baby.

If I'm reading this right, your baby will be c 10 weeks old when she wants you to start back. If this is right, please bear in mind that if you're going to be away all weekend it will be very hard to maintain breastfeeding, if that is something you want to do.

Tinkerbella23 Mon 21-Jan-13 15:02:06

I don't know how breast feeding works but I want to try it,I have bought a breast pump to try and express it too and that is what the mum is doing with her baby she says as she will be expressing hers so I can feed her baby.
So although its a newborn baby and 2 other children I still should charge minimum wage,baring in mind I won't get much sleep Friday and Saturday night or even during the day?
It would be a huge relief if my boyfriend turned round to me after a few weeks and said its not working I then would have tried my best and I did say to the mum I would try it as I have to think about my family and If its too much for him as he works full time during the week then I won't be able to do it.and a advantage about having no contract I don't have to such a long notice.
My plan originally was to have the children stay at my house when I returned to work with them as I have the space until mum tells me she's also expecting.they are very hard work at the best of times,not the easiest of children.

AndBingoWasHisNameOh Mon 21-Jan-13 15:16:36

You'll need to express very regularly whilst away from the baby - about as often as the baby would feed directly. Which will be pretty time consuming in itself. Plus the baby has to be willing to take a bottle and not all BF babies are. Even if you keep this up you may find you have supply issues.

Tinkerbella23 Mon 21-Jan-13 15:20:35

I doubt I, going to be able to find time to express while at work as ill constantly have the children and at the moment witho the newborn the children are very demanding.
I'm getting myself all worked up and when I try to talk to my boyfriend about it he says fine dont do it and we will struggle.its gonna cost me more as well if I can't breast feed as ill have to buy baby milk which is why I want to try and breast feed as well as it being better for the baby,I want the baby to get use to a bottle strait away also as I don't want to be the only one to feed the baby as my boyfriend will be feeding also.

Flisspaps Mon 21-Jan-13 17:48:04

You should charge at least minimum wage.

Although really, you should get a job where you have a contract, basic employment rights, and the chance to breastfeed your own newborn rather than being up all night feeding someone else's baby, and being so exhausted when you get back that you can't enjoy your little lovely!

Flisspaps Mon 21-Jan-13 17:52:22

Remember, some women can't express anything with a pump even with a decent supply, and if you are BF it's advised you don't use bottles for the first few weeks until you've got your supply going. The BF board on here is very helpful for info smile

longjane Mon 21-Jan-13 17:59:52

I would ask if you boyfriend and baby could come and stay .as well and you both look after all the kids .

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