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Nanny - am I expecting too much ?

(80 Posts)
Mosman Sat 29-Dec-12 10:00:30

So we have a nanny who is not the fittest or healthiest of women and I wonder whether the job is too much for her.
She's an ex secondary school teacher, drama who I thought would be brilliant for my older very dramatic girls and she was most recently working with a family with preschoolers so my toddler seemed well catered for too.
So two months in and it's school holidays here, she's very kindly put together an activity timetable of events and stuff to do with the kids over the next month which adds up to over a grand. Her petrol will be on top and a lot of driving seems to be included to places that are really walking distance - hence my worry about her health.
The problem is once I've paid for child care I have literally a grand left in a month so I was kind of hoping quite honestly that the nanny would be the entertainment, there would be a fair bit of chilling at home, park, beach etc.
The money I have left I was hoping to spend at the weekends on family days out and things we would be doing together.
My other little gripe is that looking after the children is all she seems to be able to manage, cooking for them never seems to happen, tidying away toys never happens, I come home to unlidded felt tips all over the dining table and piles of paper. I've heard of other nanny's doing the children's washing and ironing, tidying bedrooms etc, should this be part of the role ?
I don't know whether the nanny is crap or i'm just looking for a way out, I'm not loving my job but wonder if I might if the burden was less at home.
What do you think ?

LadyHarrietdeSpook Sun 30-Dec-12 15:24:10

The 12 year I'm pretty sure isn't leaving the lids off pens but if she was all I'd ask of the nanny is "hey did you forget something" type comments.

This is a reasonable expectation from an experienced nanny. Of course parents need to provide feedback too but it's the nanny who is there, in loco parentis, to provide it when you aren't. This has to happen as well.

I'm also aware that you get what you pay for

My take on this is that the OP isn't necessarily NOT providing feedback as such but there is something about the situation that the nanny doesn't see any consequences if she doesn't follow up or follow up consistently. And OP maybe a more experienced, ie. costly nanny would be a massive financial stretch? So part of the issue is how much you can tolerate relative to how much more another nanny might be?

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights Sun 30-Dec-12 15:33:46

Mosman - is there a reason you have gone for an au-pair and a part time nanny, rather than a full time, possibly live-in, nanny? I think one person doing 'the job' is better than 2 part time. Part-time nanny is quite a hard job, things aren't where they were last time (especially when you have just moved), it's harder to get into a routine, the kids have 4 adults looking after them... it's all a bit 'messy' and harder to feel the same level of responsiblity for routines etc.

Also, what is the au pair doing when the nanny is there? Surely they are often both there?

Mosman Sun 30-Dec-12 15:41:43

Long story but the nanny was working alongside my MIL who was meant to stay for 20 weeks but with less than a weeks notice decided she was going home to the UK, fair enough but it meant some pretty quick decisions were made. The au pair doesn't live with us she's literally around the corner with an elderly last who justikes company in the evening so this girl saved our bacon and we were able to help her earn some extra cash.
The nanny was meant to go full time this week but given my feelings about work and how this arrangement is going I've persuaded her to just do two days with us and two days with somebody else - she only wants to work a 4 day week - which is another problem but anyway.
There's not a lot of options in Perth for childcare, so it's almost best of a bad bunch, import somebody good but costly or take your chances with an au pair but given the little ones age I'm not comfortable with that, plus I need more than 30 hours.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights Sun 30-Dec-12 16:58:50

Bloody hell. It's a wonder you haven't all had a nervous breakdown before now!! Far too many people involved in the day to day caring for the children - it's no wonder it's all very hit & miss. You need to start afresh.

I really believe you need to either get someone full time or do it yourself full time. There needs to be some consistency & stability. Be honest with yourself, what do you want? Do you want to do it yourself or do you want to find a great nanny & go to work?

If you want to go to work - then find yourself a good, full time, nanny. They are worth their weight in gold, so you need to work out what you can afford to pay and pay that. Once you have a good nanny in place, life will be much, much easier.

Mosman Mon 31-Dec-12 14:45:26

That's the million dollar question. I don't know right now unfortunately.

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