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CM can't get DD to sleep, please help.

(31 Posts)
tiredbutgood Thu 06-Dec-12 21:25:35

I have just started to put my DD (who's 1years old), with a childminder for the first time the other day (this was suppose to be a settling in session). Unfortunately, she had to phone me after 45 minutes, saying that she was screaming, and pulling at her ear, and that she tried everything! My DD was very tired that day and needed some sleep, but my CM had not tried to put her down to sleep. She has not got a separate cot bed to put her into, (as she presfers to put them into a buggy instead). But i can only put my DD down to sleep in a cot at home, and this has to be a quite room, with her music on as she is very noise sensitive. My CM asked me whether i let her cry it out?, but i don't agree with this method. I am really upset to think that 'crying it out' will be her only choice, and that she has no 'quite room' or cot to put her into. I feel horrible really, that i have set my dauugter up, to be un-compatable with childcare, due to her being so difficult to put to sleep.
It just seems that my DD is just not going to get any sleep, (unless she sleeps in her buggy on the school runs), and that is not enough! Should i consider another CM or a nursery, where they have a cot? And how do i stand if i did change my mind, as I have signed a contract?

fraktion Sat 08-Dec-12 23:15:03

What do OFSTED say about slings and napping then?

I'm a believer in if they'll sleep then they'll sleep and that's great! But I have a non sleeper.

In any case if your DD is used to that nap routine you should be looking for childcare that can replicate that as much as possible. If this CM can't your DD will end up exhausted so you'd need a new one.

MaryPoppinsBag Sun 09-Dec-12 09:09:48

Fraktion I'm not sure, but I reckon being held is the most natural way for a baby to be. It just doesn't fit in with our lifestyles. Particularly when the ratio is 3:1.

Ofsted don't like Bumbo seats either. And many nurseries are putting them in skips. I've never liked them.

greenbananas Mon 10-Dec-12 19:24:42

When I had an 11 month old mindee start with me last year, his mother and I were determined that he would sleep in a travel cot, as he did at home. It worked for about a month and then he hated it. We couldn't let him cry himself to sleep, because that seemed so cruel, so he started sleeping in the sling instead. When he got too heavy for that, I used to wheel him around the neighbourhood in a pushchair until he slept, but that had a detrimental effect on my other mindees. Eventually, his mum and I agreed that we would give up on the cot completely, and only insist that he slept in the pushchair if he was really tired and cranky. Ofsted weren't impressed that we had taken the travel cot away, but they did appreciate that we were working together in the best interests of the child.

Children often behave differently in a CM setting, and this includes the way they sleep. I think the key is that childminders and parents work together. OP, this is very early in your relationship with the new childminder. Do you think you can work with her?

greenbananas Mon 10-Dec-12 19:29:35

(should add that the pushchair my mindee occasionally slept in was the sort that lay completely flat and had plenty of space around him - but this was still not ideal, I know)

OneNiceGreenLeaf Mon 10-Dec-12 21:15:47

tiredbutgood, I had a similiar experience on my first settling in session for my DD. She was 9 months at the time. I didn't actually leave her and stayed with her. Like you, I had big concerns about the reality of how my DD would nap while she was there. In addition to this, I just had a feeling that it wasn't the right place for her.

This was all very stressful but we found an excellent alternative that we are thrilled with (she's been attending for 3 months now). We had also signed a contract, but were able to give the CM the 4 weeks notice to cancel that it stated in the small print.

My advice would be to find another setting that is more suited to the individual needs of your baby. Good luck. I know it's a worrying time.

our childminder only has room for one travel cot upstairs in her room and then has some mats on lounge floor as my toddler is used to them for nursery he sleeps happily on mats and one other toddler who goes prefers the cot, if he is only one there he sleeps in travel cot happily.

I have to say unless it was my only option I wouldnt have chose a childminder who didnt have the faciltiies I needed, I would have asked about sleep arrangements on 1st meeting

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