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Now much to give the au pair for food each week?

(15 Posts)
Aloha31 Mon 05-Nov-12 11:10:03

New au pair would prefer to buy her own food each week. Previously I would ask the au pair the sort of things she liked and then bought it for her so she could cook what/when she wanted (works well for me, rather than eating together in the evening - as we have different food timetables!!).

What should I add to this new au pair's wages each week so she can do her own food shop? I am on a tight-ish budget myself...

Advice much appreciated! Thank you.

unexpectediteminbaggingarea Mon 05-Nov-12 11:26:25

well, I spend £100 on a family of 4, so that computes as £25 each. It's so long since I shopped for 1 that I can't work it out. I think you have to spend a bit more shopping for one, so £30 a week? Does that seem really tight?

Sorry, I'm no help at all really. confused

Aloha31 Mon 05-Nov-12 11:56:25

Thank you - that is a start!

Anyone else? smile

MrAnchovy Mon 05-Nov-12 11:57:12

"New au pair would prefer to buy her own food each week."

I'm sure she would but that's not normally part of the deal - au pairs normally eat with the children or with the parents. You and the au pair are free to agree whatever you want of course, but on a tight-ish budget I'd suggest you stick to the normal arrangement.

NatashaBee Mon 05-Nov-12 11:58:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fedupwithdeployment Mon 05-Nov-12 11:59:07

Agree with Mr Anchovy. I seem to be buying excessive amounts of Nutella and Bananas at the moment, and making bread non stop.....but other than that the AP fits in with the family. And he is doing fine! Up to you, but I think I would find the request a bit of an issue.

Aloha31 Mon 05-Nov-12 12:22:29

Nope, fine by me - culturally different food types and eating times, plus as my baby under 2 I always go for older au pairs who are older (previous one was 36 and this one a very mature 25).

As a lone parent and in a 4 day week director job, after work I have 3 hours with my baby before 7pm bedtime. The last thing I want is to babysit an au pair! I like my independence in the evenings.

I have been very lucky in that my previous au pair naturally fitted in with MY life, and this one seems happy to as well. With the last one, we were friends and very happy to chat, but she appreciated time to study, Skype with family and speak her mother tongue in the evenings, and I appreciated time to not talk at all if I didn't want to!

So , this request, rather than being an issue - it's the opposite - even more independence for me, less shopping to drag home under the buggy!

Just don't want to go over budget - I buy lovely simple food for myself, and hope she can do the same. Any luxuries, or is she wants to eat out etc, she pays for that out of the normal part of her wages/pocket money.

Any advance on 30 quid?

Aloha31 Mon 05-Nov-12 12:25:28

Older au pairs who are older! confused

Floralnomad Mon 05-Nov-12 12:25:52

Could you not do the shopping online one week with her (yours and hers ) then you would see the types of things she wants and you may be able to incorporate it into your own meal planning IYSWIM

MariaJimenez Mon 05-Nov-12 12:32:16

Gosh I wish my previous aupair would have gotten her own food! She ate all of our food away plus gave me lists of things she needed otherwise she couldnt function and look after my baby! She was with us for 2 month and luckely she took off before I could ask her too. She ate every day one family pack of chicken or beef! EVERY DAY! i'm not kidding! If she wants to buy her own food, bravo! she can always get the essential stuff from you and buy the special things herself. So £30 sounds more than fair smile

Sorry for the little venting there...

Aloha31 Mon 05-Nov-12 12:33:53

I often do an online shop - think she wants to go to a few local supermarkets which sell stuff from her culture.

I think I will see what she buys herself the first few weeks then suggest she joins in online.

However, post 25 - I would't have wanted anyone else to do my shopping for me! Post 20!

Flat big enough so we can book cook ourselves simple meals in the evenings - for both it counts as lunch the next day too, for ease.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 05-Nov-12 13:47:26

When I went to university my parents allowed me £35 a week for food in the money they gave me each month - and that was 18 years ago! But it was to cover loo roll, cleaning stuff, toothpaste etc as well which presumably she won't need to buy.

I would say you will give her £35 a week, and then she can get everything she wants - if you give her less and share items like tea, squash, bread and milk then you may find that she is using huge amounts of those and leaving you short of basics and out of pocket.

forevergreek Mon 05-Nov-12 14:50:41

I would say £30 as that will easily get the basics ( we spend around that per person and eat all fresh organic food

I would Keep the store cupboard stocked of basics like herbs/ tea / flour/ baking ingredients ( you never know she might start baking!)

OldCatLady Mon 05-Nov-12 14:59:50

I have lunch at work, and sometimes breakfast, and so on average spend about £25 a week on myself. Why not say she can help herself to bread, spreads, cheese, pasta etc for lunch and give her £25 a week. Because also if she's using your bread, pasta, oil, spreads etc which she most likely will, her weekly bill won't be as much.

But if you want to give her £30 I think that's more than reasonable.

fraktion Mon 05-Nov-12 15:18:18

Just be aware that if you go down the route of not sharing family meals etc it shifts from au pair territory to nanny, and whether you are providing room and board or whether she's providing a service in exchange for a room and the food budget then becomes taxable.

It's not something I know a great deal about but I've heard it raised in the past regarding nanny jobs and separate food budgets. It may be more of a consideration for you if you're under the PAYE threshold.

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