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CMs, please help me to settle this 17 month old

(9 Posts)
LingDiLong Tue 30-Oct-12 22:31:02

I have been looking after a little boy who's 17 months old for almost 2 months now. I've only been having him once a week (this will increase to 2 days next week though). He's not happy at all sad I knew it would take a while for him to settle as he was only with me once a week but I thought he would have got better by now. It doesn't help that the poor little sausage is the kind of child to get one illness after another after another. The last 3 weeks he's not been right.

He cries off and on most of the day, only pausing at mealtimes and at playgroup, which he loves. No kind of distraction at home works - apart from the TV which I obviously only want to use sparingly.

I'm hoping that an extra day a week will help but if it doesn't what then?! I've had a couple of thoughts; trying to meet up with him and his mum for an hour or so at the weekend, somewhere on 'neutral' ground like the park. Asking his mum to put a little photo album together of his family. I've got as much information as I can have about his likes, dislikes and routines and I do my utmost to follow this. Does anyone have any other ideas? I really want this to work...he's a lovely boy (when he's not crying!) and his mum moved him to me from nursery because he wasn't happy there so I would hate to put them through another move to a different childcarer.

If I don't answer on this thread tonight it's cos I've gone to bed - been an exhausting day holding a crying one year old...

LingDiLong Tue 30-Oct-12 22:32:26

Oh, I should add that I've spoken to his mum about this of course. At first she was in almost in denial and kept saying that he was much happier here than at nursery...she's finally started accepting that he's not happy but can't seem to offer me any further advice herself on how to help him.

ZuleikaD Wed 31-Oct-12 06:08:20

Does his mum work? Could you go back to basics and do some further settling in sessions so she's there with him during the day for a bit?

forevergreek Wed 31-Oct-12 07:11:33

Hmm, 2 months is only 8 days in your care if I'm right? I'm sure many would still be wary a that's very little time to learn to know you.

I would see how it changes with another month at 2 days

mindingalongtime Wed 31-Oct-12 08:21:31

Can you have him for a few days on the run? It would make so much difference, I had a child who was only one day a week and I offered a whole week of settling in, I didn't charge, but that is up to you, but believe me it will work!

LingDiLong Thu 01-Nov-12 20:49:41

Thanks to everyone who replied, and sorry it's taken so long to get back to the thread; I've had a hideous tummy bug.

His mum works full time so no scope for extra settling in sessions with her and I'm full so I can't have him any extra days. I offered loads more settling in sessions in the beginning than she wanted to take - he only came to me twice before starting. I've found this with all my parents, they seem to want to just start them off straight away with hardly any settling.

Fingers crossed the 2 days a week help, if not I'm going to try and have a proper long chat with the mum rather than attempting to speak to her at pick up when the poor little chap is bawling his eyes out!

Tanith Thu 01-Nov-12 21:00:25

Can you go and play at his house? I did that with a little girl who found it hard to settle and it worked wonders. I always include a settling in session at the child's home now, if possible.

Agree that increased sessions will definitely help.

LingDiLong Thu 01-Nov-12 21:03:15

That sounds like a good idea, I'll see how his mum feels about that. Thanks Tanith. I'm certainly willing to try it!

Runoutofideas Thu 01-Nov-12 21:54:08

When my dd2 was struggling to settle into preschool, her key worker came to do a home visit, and played with her for a hour at home. It did help, so it may be worth a go.

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