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Cms - How many days for 12m to settle

(11 Posts)
Jeggie Tue 30-Oct-12 19:33:43

Hi just wondering if any childminders or parents can advise. My dd is coming up for 12m and I have to find child care for 1-3 days. I will be working 3 days and my husband is happy to do 1 or 2 days. We gave started meeting childminders and all have commented that one day a week would not be long enough for dd to settle. So we are now thinking 2 of mon/wed/fri... But I am now wondering if 3 days would be better. I really do want dd to bond with the cm and would probably quit my job or something drastic like that if I felt she was unhappy. I kind of had this idea of settling her in, increasing to 3 days over 6m or more but it seems people in the know don't recommend this.... What would your take on this be? Thanks

Goldmandra Tue 30-Oct-12 19:41:43

I am a childminder and have had children this age for one day a week. It does make settling in harder but once they were settled it was fine.

Could you suggest a one day a week contract but agree a more intense settling in period where you take her a few times and then she does perhaps a month going twice a week? You can agree review dates so that things can be changed to increase or decrease time as appropriate.

Clearly you'd be paying for all of these visits and perhaps a higher hourly rate for the extra days at the beginning but it would still work out cheaper. It would be a shame for you to be paying fro childcare you don't need.

Jeggie Tue 30-Oct-12 21:16:39

Oh that's a good idea - also hadn't really thought of paying for childcare I don't need. That's a good point, I seem to be so worried about leaving dd I'm hardly thinking about the money!

Welovecouscous Tue 30-Oct-12 21:21:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

minderjinx Wed 31-Oct-12 07:42:16

If you can afford it, I would suggest starting with three days a week and dropping down to two or one once your little one is settled, if that's what you really need - with the knowledge and agreement of the CM you choose of course, or you may find she is not willing to make that change when the time comes.

minderjinx Wed 31-Oct-12 07:48:52

I forgot to say that 12m is not a great time for settling in a baby in a new setting. It is in my view a symptom of the fact that many parents are taking more parental leave that there are so many more issues posted here about settling in when they do come to need childcare. Babies of 5 or 6 months are so much more adaptable, so if you can get your little ones used to spending time with other people from that sort of age (be it friends, relatives or childcare) it will not be such an issue at a year old or more. Sorry, I know that doesn't help you now, Jeggie, but it might help someone else.

mindingalongtime Wed 31-Oct-12 08:19:02

I have had a little one on a one day contract, but had him for the whole week before hand, and didn't charge as it was in my interest to do so.

It made life a lot easier all round for everyone, 12 months is a very difficult age to settle a child in, and as minderjinx says, there are a lot of issues with a years maternity leave, great for the parents, but not so good for the carer.

I am always thrilled when little ones come to me at a younger age as they settle so quickly and it is far easier to establish a bond with them,sometimes a 12 month old is so cross and upset at being left it is difficult to cuddle them as they don't want the minder and can fight any reassurance.

It just takes longer, but a minder will do her best to settle your child.

Jeggie Wed 31-Oct-12 17:57:44

Gosh yes it sounds like it is a tricky time, very daunting, thanks for the pointers though. Think will try 3 days then reducing down.

Welovecouscous Wed 31-Oct-12 21:27:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Karoleann Wed 31-Oct-12 22:06:15

My DD started nursery at 13 months (now 17months) she goes 2 days a week - Mon and Thursday as have my other two boys. The previous week to starting she did Wednesday 9-10 (with me there) Thursday 9.30-11.30 (without me) and Friday 9-1 (without me).
She love it now and kicks her legs when we go in.
(she especially loves the very camp fat man who is her key worker and who scares DH a bit and she makes this odd little eeeekkkkkekkkk noise when she sees him((maybe he's jealous)
Ds1 was a bit grumpy with childminder then nursery but then was a bit grumpy all the time and ds2 wasn't happy with either, but okay with nanny so i think it depends on the child.
Personally I think 3 days are better than 1.

HSMM Wed 31-Oct-12 22:17:34

I agree with most of the others. Children take much longer to settle, the less days they attend. I had a child struggling to settle when coming 2 days per week, so her parents upped her days for a few weeks and now she's as happy as any of the others. 12 months can be a tricky age, but not impossible. On the other hand, I have had children who have come 1 day per week and been perfectly happy (this is unusual in my experience).

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