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Giving feedback after childminder interviews

(30 Posts)
squishysquashy Fri 12-Oct-12 13:16:15

I've recently interviewed a few childminders. I found 'the one' (very happy) but I now have to let the others know. I'm not sure whether I should give feedback on why I didn't choose them?

One of them I had a few issues and I'm not sure if it would be helpful to let her know about them:

1) We thought the TV would be on too much (large widescreen in play room and reading between the lines of our discussion we thought it would be on quite regularly)

2) She already had 3 under 5s (I know she would be 'allowed' a fourth because the youngest was a sibling) but was saying about how since the rules had changed there were no limits. I know from on here that's not correct and she may have misunderstood.

3) She passed me a mug of hot coffee over the top of DDs head (could have easily walked up to me from a different angle).

I don't want to sound judgy and I'm not sure how I can feed these back to her in a nice way, she did seem a nice lady.

Lastly, one of the other childminders was very good, very professional and was a close contender. The main reason I didn't choose her was because I felt she would have a more teacher/pupil relationship with DD and I chose the childminder who was more towards the parent/child end of the scale. I want to give positive feedback to her as she was very good but DH thinks she would be insulted by saying this?

lambethlil Fri 12-Oct-12 13:19:53

Blimey. You are way overthinking this. If they ask for feedback, and it's unlikely, say you liked the way they... But decided to go with another CM.

wishiwasonholiday Fri 12-Oct-12 13:21:01

It's good that you are going to ring back, most don't bother ringing back here then I hear twisted versions from other childminders of why they didn't choose each cm.

The one with siblings would bother me though, the sibling would have to start last she can't just take new business on because she's got siblings, maybe you could somehow point this out?

The others I'm not sure what you should say though but sure someone else will.

squishysquashy Fri 12-Oct-12 13:41:44

That's what DH says lambethlil!

But if I have an unsuccessful interview I always want to know why...

lambethlil Fri 12-Oct-12 13:46:17

There are so many more variables, though. If you fail an interview it's 100% down to your performance and experience, whereas appointing a childminder could come down to many factors outside the CMs control.
It's great that you're getting back to them, and will be appreciated. Feedback something positive and x

lambethlil Fri 12-Oct-12 13:47:53

Explain that 'we've chosen another cm as easy for both parents to access/ convenient for gps.

lambethlil Fri 12-Oct-12 13:50:56

And re wanting to know why if you don't get a job, this is more personal and less 'passing an interview' like.
Your reasons are completely valid, but not necessarily anything the other CMs would or could act upon.

NickNacks Fri 12-Oct-12 13:52:21

I like constructive criticism but tbh this just sounds like personal preference so I'd leave it.

frazzlerock Fri 12-Oct-12 13:56:25

I'm a Childminder and would find feedback helpful. However (from my point of view), after interviewing prospective parents, I've never given feedback. I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable with it tbh.
But yes, as long as it's constructive then I think parents should give feedback.

GrimAndHumourless Fri 12-Oct-12 14:05:59

it would be courteous to ring and say thank you, we have found someone else

feedback - if you could rehearse a script rather than blurting out IYSWIM

also, remember the CM will be chosing clients as carefully as parents are chosing the CM

Runoutofideas Fri 12-Oct-12 14:06:08

I would just ring them to say you have gone with another option, if they then ask why, you could tell them, but I wouldn't give feedback unless it wsa requested, personally.

MrAnchovy Fri 12-Oct-12 14:07:23

No point in feeding back to the bad one - she is wrong about 2) and 3) is a show-stopper - she should have developed an instinct for avoiding this kind of thing (I have and I am just a parent). You might consider reporting to Ofsted.

When you call the good one you might say it was a very difficult choice between her and one other but the other one was more convenient for you - this should reassure her that she is offering something people want without going into your personal preferences.

minderjinx Fri 12-Oct-12 14:11:43

I also get cross about people who don't bother to let me know one way or another. Some just disappear without trace, but I have also had a fair number who have gone away and come back after quite an interval to say they want a place (and then been put out that I haven't waited weeks for their decision), so it is always in the back of my mind that the latest may be another of those. I do always say that if parents want time to consider/see other settings that is fine but that I will continue to see any other interested families in the meantime. As for feedback, yes I think constructive feedback is useful and welcome, but only if it is true. So if someone said for example that they have chosen someone else because they had more pets/offered special meals/had better facilities, or whatever, that would give me a chance to think if that was something I could change. Misleading or dishonest feedback is therefore worse than none.

MrAnchovy Fri 12-Oct-12 14:18:58

"Misleading or dishonest feedback is therefore worse than none."

Generally I'd agree with you, providing it is something objective like the things you mentioned. But in this case the preference is subjective so pointless to feed back IMHO.

minderjinx Fri 12-Oct-12 14:25:43

Sorry if I was unclear. What I meant when I said dishonest feedback could be worse than none was that if someone told me that they had chosen another CM for a specific reason which was not true (for example that it was because she had a better playroom when in fact it was really just that they hit it off better with her) that would actually be very unhelpful as I would then be thinking how I might improve my playroom.

mindermummy Fri 12-Oct-12 16:17:13

im a childminder and would like to hear feedback after interviews....
Although dont think u should tell her the coffe over head and tv bit.....but she should be made clear about the numbers issue.
I think its great you are calling back, as many have said, i dont usually hear anything!! ...unless they want me of course!!

SamSmalaidh Fri 12-Oct-12 16:17:29

I think you should let them know you are going with someone else, but it's not necessary to go into the reasons. Seeing childminders isn't really like an interview process imo, it's about finding a setting you feel comfortable in.

I saw a lot of childminders for DS and my feedback would have been:
a) filthy house and little interest in me and DS
b) filthy house and shit food
c) too many children
d) suspected she may have another baby soon
so just told them I had found someone who worked better for us.

Tanith Fri 12-Oct-12 18:52:15

I think you may be making the mistake of treating this like a job interview. It isn't. Look on it more as a meeting where you are both deciding if the other is compatible.

Would you be happy for the childminder to feedback reasons why she wasn't taking you on as a client? Would you tell a nursery or school why you had decided not to send your child to them?

I think you should wait until you are invited to feedback.

ZuleikaD Fri 12-Oct-12 19:14:02

I agree with Tanith. Tell them that you've gone with someone else by all means, but don't give feedback unless asked. When I've declined to take on a client I haven't given reasons and haven't been asked for them.

HSMM Fri 12-Oct-12 19:14:14

I have had some feedback from parents (some really useful and some I didn't agree with), but it was interesting to see how I come across to other people.

I just like people to let me know if they're coming back or not really.

You have to realise that at the same time as you are deciding if you like the CM, they are also decising if they could work with you ... Would you like feedback from them?

ManAboutTheHouse Fri 12-Oct-12 19:50:55

Best thing to do is to phone them, thank them for taking the time in their working day to see you, & just let them know you have chosen a CM. They will appreciate it.

As a few others have said, it is very odd & annoying that parents can't be bothered to let CMs they have visited, what their decision is.

Some of the parents visiting us have spent anything between 90 minutes to 2 hours with us & in that time, some have been very keen to stress the importance of their jobs, what their job role is & what they do (i.e. things that haven't been asked about, & happened to crop-up 'randomly').

The majority of these will never get back to us. One has to wonder if they behave in the same manner in their jobs or day-to-day lives with friends & family.

Italiana Fri 12-Oct-12 21:01:59

I hope no one objects to what I am going to say but parents do not interview c/ms...
the initial meeting is for Q&A from both sides to get to know each other and establish what is required and see if the 'partneship' will work...
remember the c/ms is offering a service through her experience and the parent is looking for what is best for her children
During settling-in the partnership is established and this is like a probation period to see whether the mutual arrangements will work
Parents will want our references but I also take is a two way arrangement

C/ms are self employed and should be confident in what they offer...of course there should be questions about the c/ms experience and evidence of competence but it is not an interview and I never promote it as such...

I invite parents to read my Ofsted report online first to get a feeling of who I am and what I do then invite them to visit my setting and show my working environment, establish children and parents' needs to make all comfortable and happy

Titchyboomboom Fri 12-Oct-12 21:39:45

I would appreciate feedback but don't expect feedback. As a 1 person business and me being the only one representing the business, anything constructive would be helpful, but I think I only know 1 other CM who thinks like this. The others are as they are and say people can take or leave them.. not really sure if they would appreciate feedback but I definately would

Flisspaps Fri 12-Oct-12 21:47:29

I don't call them interviews. I don't think of myself as being interviewed by prospective families. I arrange to meet with them, and it's definitely a two way process. One of my friends was telling me the other day that she was going to interview a CM (sadly my friend lives miles away from me!) and it really grated. She has also told me she has sacked a CM in the past, and that is even more annoying.

I'm not bothered about feedback either - I know I can't be the right CM for everyone, if I was then that would be a problem. I wouldn't dream of phoning a parent and saying "thanks for coming today, but I don't think I could work with you as I don't like the way you discipline your child".

squishysquashy Fri 12-Oct-12 23:56:46

Thanks all. Think I will keep it simple as suggested and say we've found a setting we think will suit DD. Will mention something about the numbers issue to the first one and say to the second one we really liked her service and it was a close call.

Funnily enough I didn't get the impression from any of the 4 we met that they were interviewing us, we weren't asked any questions about discipline, what we were looking for etc, the only questions were about what hours we wanted. The childminder we chose asked about DD's interests.

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