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Parent has asked for 2 year old to have no sleep during 11 hour day with me

(89 Posts)
childminder90210 Mon 08-Oct-12 13:17:31

Title says it all really parent has asked for 2 year old child not to have a sleep during the day as npt sleeping well at night, but child is with me for 11 hours and I feel its a bit unrealistic but unsure how to deal with this as n
ever been asked this before. My response so far has been well all i can do is try. Have you ever had this before and how did you deal with it as I feel its a little unfair to expect a child to go over 11 hours without a sleep at that age when its quite busy some days here too. Any thoughts or experiences welcome thanks

bowerbird Mon 08-Oct-12 13:23:45

I think that's an unreasonable request for a 2 year old and you should be clear about that with the parents. Besides, what are you supposed to do to keep the poor child awake? Poke them with a stick?

wedoNOTdomistyping Mon 08-Oct-12 13:29:22

I think this is a very common request from parents of 2 year olds. A lot of children drop their naps between the ages of 2 and 3.

However, whether it is reasonable depends on whether the child can cope or not.

I think you said the right thing saying you would give it a try. If the child copes then great. If not then suggest to the parent they have one short nap, maybe 45 minutes, and see how it goes with their sleep at night.

If the child still can't cope then do you drive? Maybe you could arrange a trip out so they could doze for 20 minutes in the car. They would fall asleep in the car if they were really child and no reasonable parent would insist you had to stay in or keep their child awake in the car.

SoldeInvierno Mon 08-Oct-12 13:30:19

Poor child. I think that sounds really cruel. He's too young to be awake all day without a little nap at least.

wishiwasonholiday Mon 08-Oct-12 13:35:10

My own 2 year old doesn't have a nap and if he does he'd up til 11pm so I think it's reasonable. We are busy all day cos I'm a cm, if we go to softplay or somewhere amd hes totally exhausted sometimes he naps on the way home but most days he doesn't.

ArthurShappey Mon 08-Oct-12 13:40:02

My DS dropped naps at 2. When I am home , he is awake for a full 12 hour day and goes to bed well and sleeps well. At nursery he has a 30-60 minute power nap after lunch and he is a bit of a nightmare at bedtime if I'm honest.

So I think the parent has a point. What about trying to just reduce his nap making it a maximum 30 minutes?

childminder90210 Mon 08-Oct-12 13:41:33

His usual routine with me is a nap before 11am for 30-60 mins depending on him, so in theory he should be tired at bedtime, I dont know how I will keep him awake tbh as I have school run in the afternoon which is a 25 min walk each way so quite tricky for him not to fall asleep in the buggy, thanks for your replies

mustbetimetochange Mon 08-Oct-12 13:42:52

my 2 year old doesn't nap

choceyes Mon 08-Oct-12 13:42:57

Depends whether the child is just turned 2 or nearly 3. I have a 2.1 month old and she definitely needs her day time nap (about 1.5hrs) and goes to sleep at night at about 7.30/8pm.
My DS, now nearly 4yrs, only dropped his day time nap at 3.5yrs. If he was at nursery all day then I always told staff to give him nap if he wanted it (he would make it pretty clear if he didn't) so he wasn't too tired on pick up and it means me and DH can spend more time with him in the evening.

Trying to make a 2yr old stay up for that long, if they are too tired, is cruel.

childminder90210 Mon 08-Oct-12 13:43:03

I just dont feel right about waking a sleeping child it doesnt seem fair to me

Brandnewbrighttomorrow Mon 08-Oct-12 13:43:32

My two year old can cope without a sleep now but only if she has a proper rest - i've just picked her up from nursery and we're watching a film now. My eldest dropped her daytime sleep before she turned 2 but dc2 carried on until he was 4. i think you've said the right thing, that you'll try - if the child does sleep i'd restrict it to 45 mins and try and make it as early as possible.

SamSmalaidh Mon 08-Oct-12 13:44:16

I'm pretty sure Ofsted's line is that you are required to provide space and time for a child to sleep if they want to.

Brandnewbrighttomorrow Mon 08-Oct-12 13:47:58

Babies & small children sleep in 40-45 min cycles, they then have a vulnerable period for waking so if you make some noise at that point they're likely to wake - but only from a light sleep, not from deep dream sleep, which is when they are more likely to get disoriented and stroppy ime! The later the nap is the bigger the impact on bedtime I have found.

childminder90210 Mon 08-Oct-12 13:47:59

Thanks for all your replies I just felt it was a really hard situation, child is 2 years 2 months so only just 2 and its a long and usually busy day, and feel if stopping him sleeping makes him grumpy and irritable thats unfair on the other children in my care and my own children too

childminder90210 Mon 08-Oct-12 13:49:37

I agree brandnewbrighttomorrow which is why I try to do naps before lunch so by pick up time they are tired again, he rarely sleeps longer than 30-45 mins but sometimes does need a little bit longer

dotty2 Mon 08-Oct-12 13:49:41

DD2 dropped her regular nap at 18m - wouldn't sleep if put down in cot etc - and if she fell asleep in the buggy or car seat wouldn't sleep until after 9pm at night. She was at nursery and they used to put her on a mat with the other children when they had their sleep and she used to play quietly (or not - but never fall asleep). If she was asleep in the car seat or buggy I mostly used to wake her, but she would be grumpy and hard to entertain for a bit, so I can see that would be a problem if you are a CM with other children to care forn.

Brandnewbrighttomorrow Mon 08-Oct-12 13:52:19

I actually think making the daytime nap less consistent will lead to worse nights, not better. Until dc3 started nursery in the mornings she had a late morning nap every day - either 45 or 1.5 hours. Much less consistent now she's at nursery - she's less likely to sleep in the afternoons after she's been there, which is why I'm enforcing downtime as an alternative. Very difficult if you have other children to care for at the same time though.

childminder90210 Mon 08-Oct-12 13:53:03

My own son stopped sleeping in the day at 18 months but that was his choice and if a child I care for stops needing a sleep and can cope with the day then thats fine but its no fun for anyone with a tired grumpy child in the setting, I can understand parents wanting him to sleep at night, of course I do as I am a parent myself, but sometimes children do go through a phase of waking in the night. Sometimes this job is really hard to keep everyone concerned happy

mrswishywashy Mon 08-Oct-12 14:14:19

I had this in a nanny position. Parents didn't want 18 month old to sleep and I had her 11 hours a day. I really tried and felt very neglectful as toddler would fall asleep while eating or standing up and her behaviour was really rough; crying and screaming with frustration. Parents still struggled to get her in bed before 9pm and she was up at 5am! However, after about a month of trying I happened to proxy parent for a week - toddler was in bed at 7pm each evening and slept until after 7am and had a two hour nap each day, the change in her behaviour was amazing. So, when parents returned I continued her naps (usually two hours) in the morning and her bedtime with parents stayed the same. When I babysat she was in bed by 7pm. She needed the sleep as much as parents didn't believe it she really did - I did this for a whole year and really think the long term consequences of her lack of sleep in toddler years has had a detrimental effect to her primary school years. (ive been back to the family to do consultations and her behaviour is pretty bad however parents still don't understand the importance of sleep). In my book lack of sleep is exactly the same as lack of food - neglectful! So I would continue with the naps but maybe limit the times that you give to parents.

childminder90210 Mon 08-Oct-12 14:42:27

Thank you thats very interesting to know

HSMM Mon 08-Oct-12 15:02:43

Depends on the child, but a sleep at 11 will surely be better than a nap in the pushchair at 3. My DD always slept worse at night if she hadn't had enough sleep in the day ( she was too tired).

alibeenherealongtime Mon 08-Oct-12 16:16:38

I find this useful to give to parents, from the Sleep Clinic local to me

AGEApprox. amount of baby sleep needed:
Newborn16 to 18 hours per day
3 weeks15 to 18 hours per day
6 weeks15 to 16 hours per day
4 months9 to 12 hours plus two naps (2 to 3 hours each)
6 months10 to 11 hours plus two naps (2 to 3 hours each)
9 months10 to 12 hours plus two naps (1 to 2 hours each)
1 year10 to 11 hours plus one to two naps (1 to 2 hours each)
18 months10 to 12 hours plus usually one nap (1 to 2 hours)
2 years11 to 12 hours plus one nap (1 to 2 hours)
3 years10 to 11 hours plus possibly one nap (2 hours)

I agree some children don't need it, but some really do and can't sleep at night which parents mistake for not wanting to sleep, they are infact over tired and can't get to sleep.

I have a new child that has not slept through the night yet at 14 months old, he has been with me 4 weeks and now sleeps through the night 7 -7. He never had a nap before, now he naps an hour in the morning 9.30- 10.30 and after lunch 1.5 hours minimum.

TodaysAGoodDay Mon 08-Oct-12 16:20:35

My DS dropped his nap at 12 months, it resulted in him sleeping better/longer at night. I'd do what the parents ask TBH.

BornToShopForcedToWork Mon 08-Oct-12 16:53:12

In my experience children tend to sleep bad at night because they get too tired during the day.

colditz Mon 08-Oct-12 16:54:48

Depends how old .... just two, or nearly three? Either way I'd comply with the parent. Ds2 dropped his nap from 19 months, and if he did have a sleep he's be up until midnight

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