Ds1 has various medical issues and sometimes we end up in a and e at times when normal nanny agencies aren't open and friends are asleep. I need to get something in place by the time dh goes to work in the morning.
Gotmygoat I do have friends who will help out but when this happens at 5 am then I have to take ds2 with me to a and e where there is no phone reception making it impossible to call anyone by the time they are actually up!
The problem is when it happens at 4/5 am and dh leaves for work really early! To early to phone people and ask them to take ds2. Last time I texted and asked them to call when they got the message, but I couldn't receive their calls as the A&E has no phone reception at all!
As nowearefour says could you drop and run on the way to A & E? I'm the local drop and run mum. I had next doors baby covered in cream and nappy less once when her grandad had a bad turn and went off to A and E with mum, I have children dropped off for all sorts of reasons and pick up extras from school as and when required. I wouldn't be flustered by a late night/ middle of the night/ early morning knock on the door and being passed a child.
How old is your DS and does he resettle once woken?
Could you have a pop up bed and overnight plus morning change bag packed ready for him with things like a letter for school pre written in it?
Have you asked any friends if they would consider this?
It isn't something that comes naturally to many of us to admit we need to ask for help, but we do. It's not for you it's for your DS2's benefit.
Have you tried the local council re emergency foster families near you that maybe you and DS could establish a relationship with so you could drop and run as required? A sort of emergency respite package.
Hmmm a tough one as if it's just once persion you are effectively wanting them to be 'on-call' which would prevent them from drinking, leaving the immediate area, having sole charge of children etc and whilst I don't know for sure, I'd be surprised if it wasn't both very expensive and hard to find.
You obviously have a genuine need for some help but I wonder how often this is happening? I'm sure 2 or 3 friends between them wouldn't begrudge a call once or twice a year & presumably your DH can get in late a couple of times given it is a serious family emergency, but, if this is more regular then I can see your dilemma.
eta I agree with the other posters & don't underestimate people or be afraid to ask for help. I'd be amazed if a real friend wouldn't willingly take DS2 whatever time of night or day you needed them if you had to rush to hospital with your other child I know I would.
do you know I would happily have anyones child dropped off at that time if they were on their way to a&e. It is the sort of neighbourly help that I really don't mind doing, and I am SAHM and sometimes feel that I could easily do this sort of odd and emergency help, especially for other mums who work, just like misformum above.
I don't think I am alone, I know 2 friends that I would be able to call in the middle of the night.
Ask around, I wonder if you would be surprised at what your friends (or even acquaintances) will do
As a registered childminder, I would have children dropped off to me in the middle of the night for over night care, so it's worth asking local childminders if they are registered for this. You should be able to get this on an ad-hoc arrangement as not many childminders work to full capacity at night time.
Thankyou for all the thoughts and ideas. I do have friends who will help, but only two really, and don't want to call on them that much. Also DH has a job where it can be really hard to get time off at short notice unless its a major emergency - and while DS does have to go in and sometimes spend the night - its not life threatening, and could (and does) happen quite often.
I have also had various health issue in the last couple of years which DH has HAD to take time off for, so i am trying to work on the basis of: I am ill, DH has to be here- Kids are ill, I try and cope.
I think the child-minder idea is a really good one - I think they can take emergency children above their allocation - so if we find someone very local, DH could just drop on his way to work. Will look into that
Also re the mummy friends, we all help each other out during the week, i had my friends baby for four hours yesterday - another friend had DS2 for two hours while I went to DS1s assembly, but its the middle of the night thing that I struggle with, also I really don't like taking favours that I can't repay - and I don't know anyone else who needs emergency childcare in the middle of the night.
I do ask my friends to help, and they have - but I want another option - where I can pay someone, and not feel guilty, incase I need it.