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My Au-Pair Finds Mornings Difficult

(18 Posts)
metrobaby Fri 28-Sep-12 09:55:16

My AP often finds it difficult to get up in the mornings. It was made clear from the start and in his original offer, that the start time was 7am. However, since he has started 4 weeks ago, at least once a week, I have to knock on his door to wake him up at 7am. He then wastes a further 20 mins getting himself ready, and is generally 'zombified' and has a general miserable demenour for the rest of the morning.

I've had words with him since the first week, stating that it was important for him to be up on time - and that when I said his start time 7am - I mean for him to be up and ready to deal with the dc.He said he understood, and apologised profusely. However, today, once again he didn't get up. I don't think it is my responsibility to keep waking him up - after all he is a grown adult - so I left him. He didn't get up at all shock.

Although he always apologises afterwards and promises it won't happen again, I'm getting to the stage where I am tired of his lateness being a regular occurance. Each time he is late, I consequently leave later for work.

Where do I go from here now ? How many chats and chances am I supposed to give?

StillSquiffy Fri 28-Sep-12 10:37:09

Give him an alarm clock and a warning that he gets fired next time he is not in the kitchen ready to work, AT 7am


To be honest, I would have thrown the book at him if I had woken him up and he'd then spent 20 minutes getting ready. If an AP of mine oversleeps they get themselves effing ready after they've done their work and if that means he does school drop off in his pyjamas, good. He'll only do it once.

metrobaby Fri 28-Sep-12 11:01:21

Squiffy - we already provide a clock radio and a mobile which has an alarm clock so there is really no excuse for him not getting up.

I am more surprised he can sleep through the general noise in the morning!

Dh thinks I'm being heavy handed if I give him a formal warning. However, if I do have to give notice - I think the atmosphere in the house would be dreadful. I know he would be devasted.

nannynick Fri 28-Sep-12 11:11:18

He has to get into a routine. I have a clock radio and a battery alarm clock set so that the radio kicks in and 5 mins later the alarm clock. I then make a coffee and make a bowl of porridge and have those sitting in bed keeping warm. 1/2 hour later I am feeling more human and can get dressed etc.
It has to be done daily for 2 weeks to become routine.
If he can't do that then his days in the job are over. Have a chat with him making sure he knows that getting up is not optional.

Blondeshavemorefun Fri 28-Sep-12 11:24:40

What a lazy git and you are allowing it to continue

Be blunt and say next time you are late there will be a warning

3 warnings and you will lose your job

I would love to roll out of bed at 6.55 and start work at 7am grin

Ive been doing 7-7 and its a 30min drive so up at 6am and out of house 6.30

If I kept turning up late then would be given warnings and eventually dismissed as then makes my Mb late

PutAnotherShrimpOnTheBarbie Fri 28-Sep-12 11:50:28

I am currently a live in nanny overseas and I have to be ready and upstairs for 7am. I am female and I shower etc the night before so in the morning I get up at 7.50, get dressed, clean my face, teeth etc and tie my hair up. Surely it would be even quicker to get ready being a guy. I think you need to be firmer with him so he knows that he can't keep doing it as it will have consequences for you if you're late for work. I personally don't think it's harsh giving him a warning, it might be what he needs for him to realise it's a serious problem.

Ahhhtetley Fri 28-Sep-12 11:52:19

I'd go down the warning route. If I was late at work several times they'd do this to me, it's no different to him especially as you told him before he started the job! Cheeky sod

deleted203 Fri 28-Sep-12 11:53:17

I'd give him a formal warning and tell him if he doesn't pull his socks up you'll fire him and get someone else. He's not a teenager living in your house - he's an employee whose job starts at 7.00am.

LoonyRationalist Fri 28-Sep-12 11:56:40

You must warn him, and ensure he knows that he will be warned every time he is not ready to start work on time.

Inform him how many warnings will be given before instant dismissal (fair would be 3 warnings, with warnings expiring after a certain time - 6 months) and that you will no longer be waking him up - being ready to start work is his responsibility.

ProudNeathGirl Fri 28-Sep-12 11:59:11

We always took ours on a 6 week trial basis (same for both sides). If he's not up to the job, and clearly he's not, talk to the agency. They should then talk to him. If he doesn't improve ask the agency to replace him.

becstargazeypie Fri 28-Sep-12 12:00:16

Agree with LoonyRationalist - a clear structure of warnings. He clearly doesn't realise that it's serious enough for him to lose his AP placement over, and that needs to be explained to him so that he has a fair chance to keep his role.

metrobaby Fri 28-Sep-12 13:05:21

He wasn't placed via an Agency so I can't use them. I do have a 2 month probationary however in our contract. I have received an email from him this morning - again with many apologies and much remorse. He even stated that he knows he is in a trial period and this does not look good. To be fair, he isn't lazy as such, as when he does get up - he does do all his tasks.

I will give him a warning however as I can't deal with persistant lateness. I'm just worried that it is going to happen again - like it has done before despite my chats. If that happens, I have no idea how to deal with him during the notice period.

Earlier this week, he texted me to say he wanted to stay out with his friends rather than pick up the dc from school. However when I responded he'd have to take the day as unpaid, he swiftly changed his mind. I did not appreciate the sudden panic I felt trying to arrange cover and leave work.

I'm beginning to wonder whether this, along with other factors means that it isn't going to get any better. IMO - when you start a new job, you should be doing the most to give a good impression rather than start to bend the rules or see how much you can get away with.

becstargazeypie Fri 28-Sep-12 13:09:26

he texted me to say he wanted to stay out with his friends rather than pick up the dc from school shock

Having help from someone you can't rely on is more stressful than having no help at all... He DEFINITELY needs a written warning listing the repeated lateness, the verbal warnings, and this occasion of last-minute unreliability and setting out clearly the structure of warnings that will lead to an end to the placement.

Marrow Fri 28-Sep-12 13:12:27

He wanted to stay out with his friends rather than pick up your DC?! That's an appalling attitude to have, he sounds very immature. I would definitely sit him down, make your expectations very clear and make it clear to him the consequences if he does not start work in time.

willyoulistentome Fri 28-Sep-12 13:21:57

Holy shit - I wonder what my boss would say if I texted him to say I'd rather do something else, than coming in to work today, and could he do my work for me, and arrange someone else to do his?

bigTillyMint Fri 28-Sep-12 13:24:33

He sounds way to immature for a job. Do him a favour and issue a final warning and then, if there is no improvement, or not enough, do the obvious!

HolyAutumnGoldBatman Fri 28-Sep-12 14:37:41

The getting up in the morning thing, I can sympathise with. Not the not getting up at all, but the finding it a struggle/getting up at 6:58am to start at 7am thing.

But texting to say he'd rather not pick the DC's up from school is outrageous!

MarshmallowCupcake Fri 28-Sep-12 20:58:45

I hate getting up in the morning for work, sometimes need to be up at 5.30am but I do it cos I have to! I can imagine I'd also have a verbal warning for continuously being late followed promptly by a written warning for saying I didn't want to pick the kids up from school! He needs to know that you haven't employed him as a status symbol but because you actually need his help to make your household run smoothly! if he's not up for following your job description then he'll have to go!

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