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Parents- do you expect your CM do complete homework with your child?

(38 Posts)
NickNacks Sun 23-Sep-12 13:46:09

Just a general survey really after a parent has asked that I read with her year one child each evening. I have replied that I don't really feel I have the time, peace and quiet or indeed feel it's my responsibility to do this.

Each evening i care for 5 school aged children (2 are my own) plus toddler DD and a baby mindee. They all get a home cooked two course meal and stay until 6pm. We get back from school about 3,45pm, have a snack, free play for an hour, tidy up at 5pm, dinner at 5,15 plus pudding and clearing table/getting things together for home time all takes us up to 6pm. I then have my own 3dc to do homework with, bath, spend one on one time with etc.

Do you think it was reasonable of me to say that I couldn't listen to them read/ do other homework with them? I am happy to provide a space and be on hand for general questions about homework for older ones.

forevergreek Sun 23-Sep-12 13:59:12

perfectly reasonable. the time/ quiet like you say simply isnt available. if there was less children/ no dinner then maybe but not in this case

at year 1 age anyway, reading can easily be incorporated into bedtime (child reading, then parent)

wishiwasonholiday Sun 23-Sep-12 14:42:36

I'm a cm and struggle to find time to read with my own child never mind others, my mindees all do their homework at their own home. no parents have ever asked and I would say no if they asked.

lechatnoir Sun 23-Sep-12 16:29:03

I would also say no for all the reasons given. Maybe if I only had 1 or 2 children or similar age who could take turns reading or do a project, spellings etc all together but otherwise no, you're getting into 1-2-1 care of a nanny.

VivaLeBeaver Sun 23-Sep-12 16:30:55

I think it was very reasonable of you to say you don't have time. If the parents want that sort of iput they need a nanny or an au pair.

bakingaddict Sun 23-Sep-12 16:35:26

No's the job of the parents not the CM.

xelliex Sun 23-Sep-12 16:38:13

I have a year 1 dd and it's never occurred to me to ask her cm to do her homework with her! I'd have thought most parents would like to keep track of their DCs progress themselves. When they have just come out of school I think it's better to let them relax for a while before starting on assisted reading, and with other DCs to attend to you can hardly give one child the one on one attention they'd need. I think the parents must have asked you to do this without thinking.

Eglantyne Sun 23-Sep-12 16:40:23

Absolutely not. It's not her job, and she has other peoples' children to look after, so can't do the one to one that homework requires.

looneytune Sun 23-Sep-12 17:12:26

Agree with all others. My own children don't get this help and I have to do what a lot of other working parents do and fit it in once the children have gone home. I would have also said no if asked.

NickNacks Sun 23-Sep-12 17:29:44

Thank you all for your replies. Glad you agree! I felt right saying no at the time and then today wondered if I'd been a bit unreasonable since the mum looked a bit taken aback when I said I couldn't. Thing is she only lives about a mile away so home in minutes, I feed the children so I think she must have a decent amount of time left to read with them.

ZuleikaD Sun 23-Sep-12 18:15:20

I agree with OP and the others - sounds like a lazy parent to me.

Viviennemary Sun 23-Sep-12 18:20:43

Absolutely not the job of any childminder I have ever known. Most are much too busy for this. What a nerve. She should get a nanny if she wants this.

PoppadomPreach Sun 23-Sep-12 18:23:16

Very lazy parenting! Poor child sad

wednesdaygirl Sun 23-Sep-12 18:41:41

I pick up 6 children from school and do their homework with them every night, i do it after snack time while its free play

halloweeneyqueeney Sun 23-Sep-12 18:47:03

I would expect anyone looking after my child till 6pm to facilitate homework, that is part of what you are paying for! IMO after 6 is too late for homework for a child thats had a knackering day at home and doesn't set a good routine for later years!

mine get home, have drink/light snack/homework then play/dinner/play

I did it with the kids right after a light snack and drink when they got home when I was au pairing and there were blooming loads of them!

If they're all sat up at the table together then I don't see why you couldn't help the smaller ones!

halloweeneyqueeney Sun 23-Sep-12 18:48:15

plus if you did it that way then your DCs homework would be done once the mindees leave and you could enjoy family time more

RaisinDEtre Sun 23-Sep-12 18:54:07

no I wouldn't do homework with the minded children

I don't call it lazy parenting either; perhaps the parents are struggling to juggle the logistics of having a school age child/work; have a heart please.

Dozer Sun 23-Sep-12 19:58:43

Can see both sides, by the time parents and DC get home, eg 6.30pm it is often too late for reading etc.

HSMM Sun 23-Sep-12 20:31:28

I provide a quiet space for children to work if they need to and I will sometimes get them to 'read' to the toddlers, but an environment with a group of mixed age children from 0-9 and one adult is not suited for 1:1 time.

forevergreek Sun 23-Sep-12 20:41:45

Helping with homework is different than listening to a young child read. As op said homework can be assisted with by sitting with several at one time and can potter between prepping dinner and keeping an eye on the younger ones. Sitting 1-2-1 doesn't come in to it as the other children need monitoring also. If people want 1-2-1 then I'm afraid they need an individual nanny.

lisa1968 Sun 23-Sep-12 20:53:19

Hi,I'm a CM and I don't do homework with children-if they are able to do it on their own then they can go ahead, but my own DD has to do hers when I'm not working so I don't think its fair for me to sit with other children and help with theirs...,I'm too bus and its too noisy!

MUM2BLESS Sun 23-Sep-12 20:59:27

Can I answer as a parent/cm. 4 of my own and six cm.

Some of the kids spend lots of time with me, therefore I did make time available for homework with the kids.

I found one child would do it willingly but it was a stuggle with some.

I had a situation where the mum wanted the children to do homework but they did not really want to do it. Mum insisted. To cut a long story short I decided I would not force anyone to do homwork if they did not want to do it.

Each cm differs. It depend on the schedule of the cm. A lot is expected of us. We also deal with children of varying ages.

I enjoy visiting the library and getting books for the kids. I love touch and feel books and so do the little ones. The best time for reading with them was during the school hours when the older ones were at school. After school the routine changes, I have more kids to deal with.

This is the personal choice of the cm. Some may do it some may not be able to.

I also allow the older ones to read if they wish and will mark it in their reading record.

Please take into consideration the amount of children your cm is dealing with and her daily routine.

Tanith Mon 24-Sep-12 08:02:30

It depends on the age of the child.

I used to look after a 10 year old who was taking a scholarship. She was focused, wanted to get on with it and I provided a quiet place for her to work (she got her scholarship, by the way).

I was getting the younger ones to sit at the kitchen table and do their homework after a parent insisted, but they hated doing it - most unfair when one has homework and the others do not. They all said they'd rather do it at home with their parents anyway.

What finally convinced me to abandon it for the younger ones was a chat with one of my teacher parents. She said the only important homework for infant children was the daily reading. The rest was not necessary and was usually set to placate the pushy parents in the class who demanded it.

"Fine," I thought, recognising that pushy parent description all too well! "If she wants her kids to have homework, she should do it with them."

So I let the 4 year old play with the others in the garden instead of struggling with her letters every night. We did games and activities that supported handwriting instead - much more fun and everyone wanted to join in.

As for the reading: parents are really too busy to listen to a child read a couple of pages? Really?! hmm

thebody Mon 24-Sep-12 22:09:12

Absolutely not... Wouldn't have had the time, quiet, or inclination.

Parents job.

HolyAutumnGoldBatman Tue 25-Sep-12 19:07:05

YANBU to not want to/not be able to do it. It's your childcare business and you decide what services you want to offer.

However, I don't think it was unreasonable for the mum to ask, I don't think she's lazy and certainly don't think she's 'got a nerve' to ask.

Nannies will help with homework/reading, au pairs will help with homework/reading, afterschool clubs will often provide help with homework/reading, parents who are able to pick up their own children will do homework/reading it's very much part of the 'after school' routine. It's therefore perfectly reasonable for the mum to ask the person who deals with her child's after school routine to do this (as I said also perfectly reasonable that you can't/don't want to do it).

thebody listening to a child read is no more a 'parents job' than picking them up from school, looking after them on school holidays, giving them their tea, playing with them etc. I assume you do at least some of those things as a childminder?

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