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Children at Weddings; Avoid or Embrace?

(43 Posts)
Jenniferkate Wed 04-Jul-12 15:58:36

Trying to decide whether or not to invite children to your wedding is a tough one... What does everyone think is the right thing to do?

Flisspaps Wed 04-Jul-12 16:05:52


Quenelle Wed 04-Jul-12 16:07:06

Embrace smile

worldgonecrazy Wed 04-Jul-12 16:09:49


DoingItForMyself Wed 04-Jul-12 16:21:52

Aw, embrace!

What's a wedding without a small person standing up mid-way through the ceremony saying "what's aunty X doing, why is she wearing a white blanket on her head? why is grandma crying?" at the top of their voice grin

MrsCog Wed 04-Jul-12 16:25:51

On my experience I would say embrace, but we had a marquee wedding and there was lots of space for children to play outside, and have their own 'play table' at the wedding (colouring books and loads of sweets/chocolate etc). I can see how it's different when you're paying a hotel per person etc. though.

chrisrobin Wed 04-Jul-12 16:30:14


nannynick Wed 04-Jul-12 16:57:38

Embrace. My sister is getting married at the end of this month and it will be a kidfest. Probably helps that she has two under 6 herself.

Hulababy Wed 04-Jul-12 16:59:15


For me families are family events - the joining of two families and all that. For me, that includes all the family - adults and children alike.

mcfee Wed 04-Jul-12 17:53:48

I would say embrace but...there will be a limit on head count at a hotel etc so if for example they can cater for 75 then that means 75 not 75 plus 5 high chairs & 4 babies on laps.
So you have to decide if you want spaces taken up by small children some of whom you might hardly know in place of friends / family.

mcfee Wed 04-Jul-12 17:56:43

Also...I am going to kiddie-fest wedding this Saturday...we are the only ones in our group to have small children (although there will be others there). The bride is very insistent they go. Lovely that she wants them there but we might have liked a relaxing / posh / coupley day IYKWIM grin

Just come back from my brother wedding which had 15 children 4 of which were under 3, all well behaved their own 2yr old was probably the noisest.

They had a balloon maker during speeches which kids loved at back of hall and he stayed for few hrs and made things for adults as well (you can only begin to imagine what drunken ladies ask for!!! but thats a whole different story!!)

thebody Wed 04-Jul-12 20:31:51

Can u imagine this debate in Greece, Spain or Arab countries? Kids are part of the family arnt they? Of course embrace!

Blondeshavemorefun Wed 04-Jul-12 20:44:10


blondes runs for the hills - well hobbles as have poorly swollen twisted ankle sad

or have and have a crèche/wedding nannies (i do this for several agencies)

thebody Wed 04-Jul-12 21:24:25

Ha ha blonds, u touting for business?? Sorry bout ankle twists v painful.

Blondeshavemorefun Wed 04-Jul-12 23:37:51

well you know me body, dont ask dont get lol

yes,im feeling veeeeeeeeeeery sorry for myself sad foot/ankle looks like fat sausages sad - got sympathy on fb pic

my wedding was childfree, only as most of my friends had children, so numbers would have doubled, also my friends wanted to get pissed relax without worrying about their monsters angels

BackforGood Wed 04-Jul-12 23:45:42

Avoid (on a personal level) but so much depends on your circumstances, on the 'tradition' in your 'circle' and the type of wedding you are looking to have. It's not a straighforward yes/no question.

NoComet Wed 04-Jul-12 23:54:49

The best weddings are light hearted fun informal affairs with all ages letting their hair down.

Save your money for a five star child free honeymoon.

ZuleikaD Thu 05-Jul-12 12:42:02

We avoided because it was purely an evening do (got married at 5pm) so wouldn't have been practical for most in any case. I hate the whole-day kerfuffle (it was my second go-round grin) so decided to limit it to a thoroughly excellent few hours.

YouOldSlag Thu 05-Jul-12 12:46:23

Embrace, but provide a distraction like ^^ balloon man, room with toys/DVDs/helper in maybe?

In my eyes, it's not a wedding unless there's a shot of the bride dancing with a little boy or girl with a comical height difference.

Rocky12 Fri 06-Jul-12 11:32:11

Avoid, when I am making my vows I dont want a small child screaming, running up and down the aisle or otherwise making what is a formal event comical. The parent who let her child run down the aisle to see the bride standing on her veil on her way thought it was very funny. The wedding had be stopped whilst this parent got hold of her daughter who proceeded to wail the house down.

I know you will all say its down to the parents to ensure that this doesnt happen but it does. The last wedding I went to had a young child and her mother in the row reserved for the immediate family. She was asked very nicely to move but insisted her 2 year old 'wanted to see the bride' and said she would stay where she was and just tried to shuffle along. One of ushers eventually had to have a quiet word and she moved off. So unless you are OK with this sort of behaviour I think avoid.....

ZuleikaD Fri 06-Jul-12 12:09:18

Apart from anything else, every time I've seen small children at a wedding they get massively overwhelmed and end up screaming the place down.

DoingItForMyself Fri 06-Jul-12 12:23:32

Rocky, I would say those are both arguments for not inviting rude and useless parents to your wedding rather than not inviting children grin

Zuleika, I've never seen small children screaming the place down, I've seen them sprinkling petals, blowing bubbles, dancing, running round the grounds/gardens, my 3 yo DS was included in a v comical moment of the speeches. Lovely DCs with considerate parents are a joy at weddings.

Rocky12 Fri 06-Jul-12 12:33:30

Think by default you will have to invite the useless parents. I asked my SIL whether she was OK with my 3 year old, said I really didnt mind at all as the cemonery was very formal. And I really didnt mind. She said she wouldnt dream of not having him there but if she had said she wanted a more formal occasion or he was welcome to the party etc I wouldnt have minded at all.

ZuleikaD Fri 06-Jul-12 12:34:20

Blimey, Doing - really? Last wedding I went to both DD (1.5) and another toddler were massively stressed by 6pm.

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