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Making necessary changes

(9 Posts)
MUM2BLESS Thu 13-Oct-11 14:28:58

For quite a while I have been facing so many challenges whilst cm. It dawned on me that rather than working with the parents I was taking over from the parents without realising it.

I do quite long hours and some children are with me for quite a while.

Do not get me wrong I will still give my very best in caring for the kids but I will now give some of the responsibility back to the parents regarding their own children. for example keeping the parents informed when their child is not behaving, not showing respect and not wanting to do their homework when asked to do so by their parents (at my house).

Has anyone been taking over from the parents, rather than working with them.

In the past I remember having to set boundries for an independant but defiant child. I must admit I felt as though I was the parent.

I am a mum myslef and I know how important it is for me to support those who are caring for my kids.

Any comments?

HSMM Thu 13-Oct-11 16:20:50

Not completely sure what you're asking. I tell parents about their child's good or bad behaviour, but I take full responsibility while they are in my house. I do agree boundaries and techniques with parents, is that what you mean?

MUM2BLESS Thu 13-Oct-11 19:14:06

Sorry if unclear.

For example if mum wants kids to do homework whilst with me, which I dont mind. Its been a challenge trying to get them to do i.t as they would rather play. Do you insist they do it if that what mum wants them to do.

I now encourage them but if they refuse I step back and let their parents deal with it. I use to insist before and stand my ground.

lisa1968 Thu 13-Oct-11 21:33:46

I know what you mean.It is easy to 'take over' unintentionally when you have children all day.
I dont allow children to do homework when they're with me-I do think thats up to parents so they can keep up with what their children are doing at school.I cant sit and help a child with homework when I've got others to look after.My own kids dont even do theirs when i'm working-they wait till I've finished.
The other thing that used to bug me was parents expecting me to be a go-between for them and school.I dont mind the occasional request e.g. 'can you let his teacher know we've forgotten to put his reading book in his bag?'-but I draw the line at 'can you let his teacher know that he doesn't like his reading book as he's struggling with some of the words and maybe he needs to try an easier book?':-that kind of thing is up to parents.I know if parents work full time then it is difficult, but they can always ring the school.
I take a step back now and let them get on with it!

HSMM Thu 13-Oct-11 21:48:16

I see what you mean. I offer a quiet space and table for homework, by I don't police it. I think children often need to blow off a bit of steam immediately after school.

MUM2BLESS Thu 13-Oct-11 21:57:09

Lisa1968 thanks

One child is in the same year as my son the other in the same class. I kinna know what they need to do. As well as helping the kids and the parents, I will let Ofsted know the service I provide. Just showing some concern for the kids I deal with.

I think sometimes I have volunteered my help when I saw the need to. There are some things which I can do but I choose to let the parents do.

I also now let the parents know what I can do rather than letting all the parents tell me what they want me to do. If you do this you can be all over the place.

One of the changes I have made is not to do 7 am starts. I have done this and it can be very demanding on your own family.

I have had to address different issues whenever I felt I had to. ie early drop offs, late pick ups, late payment etc.

I am very fussy about my kids and I ensure that I provide a good service to the families I deal with.

I am hot on manners and respect with my kids and also with other peoples kids. Teaching one of the little ones to put her hands over her mouth when coughing.

MUM2BLESS Thu 13-Oct-11 21:58:54

To me childminding is more than just a job. I am caring and developing little lives.

lisa1968 Thu 13-Oct-11 22:17:13

I love childminding and I work very closely with parents-it got me an 'outstanding' from Ofsted-but parents have to realise where the cut-off point is with what you are prepared to do.I'm extremely flexible-I'll change hours and days if a parent needs me to etc-but,in the past, I have had parents asking me to do everything from taking a child to the dentist (!) to booking a child into swimming lessons!!I did actually suggest to one parent that they may be better off with a nanny who could actually carry out their requests.
When I first started 'minding 11 years ago, I hated confrontation, and ended up agreeing to lots of requests from parents that I wish I hadn't agreed to-I didn't want to upset people!Now I ask myself if it was something I would ask somebody to do for my kids-if not, then I wouldnt agree to do it for someone else.

MUM2BLESS Fri 14-Oct-11 14:56:25

Lisa... thanks.

I am trying to stay balance in what I do for the cm kids and what I do for my kids. I try to be fair with both.

I have had to nip things in the bud, when things have taken place that I was not happy with.

Being a cm is a very responsible yet at times challenging job.

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