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Please help!!!

(5 Posts)
Rudgey Mon 03-Oct-11 13:37:15

I have an 18 months old just started with me two weeks ago and she is only with me one day a week. She crys from the minute Mum leaves to the time Mum comes back, 10 hours with a break when she sleeps and she does not eat a thing all day. I try everything cuddles, distraction, ignoring it, being firm, more cuddles but the crying does not stop with anything I do. When I see her with Mum she is very clingy and Mum says she is always like that and she can't move without her child running after her. How am I going to settle this child with only one day a week to work with. I feel she would benefit being in childcare for more days a week to get her used to it but I only havve the one day for her. Please advice, thanks

missymoo2411 Mon 03-Oct-11 13:44:14

yes you need more days i had this with one of mine and we did a couple of extra days and he is brilliant now

lizzie83 Mon 03-Oct-11 13:45:51

Wow this sounds like a tricky one. I am a nanny myself so have dealt with my fair share of clingy crying children but never one who cries none stop all day. Maybe ask her mum if there is anything she really likes playing with or doing and try doing that or taking her for a walk may help. As for eating could she help or at least think is helping getting her food ready so she feels involved. My only other advice would be to ignore it but as you say you have already done that it may not work. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful. The more she gets used to you though the better.

Rosiegirl Mon 03-Oct-11 15:00:56

I had this with an 18m old (but fortunately not for 10 hours). This can be a really difficult age to settle them, I think that as babies they are generally quite easy and forget what they were worrying about, but by 18 months have much more knowledge of what is going on.

I used to ensure we had something really special to do when she came in, and encouraged mum to give a big kiss and hug and say bye bright and breezily. She loved to visit our rabbit or play outside in the sand, paint was also a real winner. When she was calm I would tell her what we were going to do the next time she came to give her something to look forward to, and them mum would remind her (she did/does have excellent language skills) the tears gradually reduced, now she is wonderful. But it did take some work.

maggi Mon 03-Oct-11 15:54:38

Patience on the crying.
The food thing is a result of the child not feeling in control. But one thing they can control is whether to eat or not (and if you are not careful you will fall into the parent trap of showing you are bothered by this). Put food on the table, eat yours beside her or else the children all eat together. No one comment on her food or her not eating. You can praise other children for their eating nicely but be careful that this doesn't become "See how well Billy eats, you should do the same", just ignore her lack of eating. When everyone is finished remove all the plates, including hers, being careful to avoid giving her any admonishing glances. Then everyone leaves the table to play.
Take her shopping for lunch asking her to pick things to eat. Try cooking together.
Try really hard to ignore her choice not to eat. A healthy child doesn't find it any hardship not to eat for a day. It may become a conscious choice of hers rather than an instinctive reaction if you chose to pay any attention to it.

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