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To those people battling with poor childcare

(7 Posts)
pecanpie Sat 24-Sep-11 23:18:15

I should have sacked my nanny 6 or so weeks ago for a gross misconduct issue, which she denied and has continued to deny for the weeks leading up to me deciding to terminate her contract for other reasons. If you contributed to my last thread (which Mumsnet removed) thanks for your experienced advice and of course you were right!

After the gross misconduct - something which DD1 age 4 told me about and was thoroughly believable - I never fully trusted the nanny, plus there were other signs that care of my children slipped whenever there was something more important on her mind, which was quite often. Having had another issue, my next door neighbours who previously 'didn't want to interfere' (who does that when childcare is involved) told me a few things they'd seen which are actually quite upsetting to hear - things which my currently 19 month old DD couldn't have told me herself.

What prevented me from firing her earlier was the worry of finding replacement childcare for 3 months before going on maternity leave, but it's remarkable how friends' and other parents at school have dug out contacts for me, in addition to finding a very local childminder who was willing to help. I've managed to arrange cover for my last 5 weeks of work which hopefully won't be too unsettling for the kids within 2 days of confirming that out nanny won't be working her notice period.

The bottom line is that I should have gone with my gut instinct - and not listened to DH who focussed too much on the difficulties of finding short term childcare and had more confidence to keep my children's standard of care high.

Incidentally, despite lack of continuity in childcare over the past week or so (both sets of grandparents who live out of town have picked up some days, DD1 has gone home with friends after school which she isn't always comfortable to do, a couple of days with me at home) BOTH of my children seem so much happier in themselves and DD2's speech has come on enormously (she's only 19 months, so we're talking only about animal noises, words like boo, more, there etc). It just makes me wonder about the last few months.

My point? Gut instinct is usually right - and so is advice on this board!!

HavePatience Sat 24-Sep-11 23:24:50

Well done smile
I remember your thread and am glad you got rid of her.
Why did it get deleted? That's silly.

pecanpie Sun 25-Sep-11 08:02:55

Mumsnet kindly deleted it on request - there was too much detail on there for a start.

HavePatience Sun 25-Sep-11 22:14:05

Ah ok smile
Glad you've sorted it! I do think people often put up with substandard care because "the kids love her" or "the change would be too hard on the kids"

bigdonna Mon 26-Sep-11 14:20:39

hi pecanpie,im glad you got rid and im sure after your maternity you will find someone nice to care for your children.you know its really hard to tell a mother her nanny is awful i did it once.i told a mother in wimbledon her nanny smacked her child and he was frightened of her .she asked her child he was only 3 he siad he liked her,to be honest he didnt know any different as his nanny before was awful too.luckily i told my boss too and she had aword and when i had time off to get married they got rid thank god i htink she is still ananny in north london so beware!!!!!!she was an evil cow

bigdonna Mon 26-Sep-11 14:39:07

sorry should have said i was nanny for 16 yrs!!!!

ichangedmymindagain Mon 26-Sep-11 16:48:48

i read your last post pecan and it's great that you did finally get rid of her .good luck with your baby and finding a lovely new nanny , there are plenty of us good nannies out there .
I too had an experience like yours bigdonna , it is difficult telling a parent that their nanny is not taking care of their child properly even worse that they are harming the child . I told my boss , who was a very close friend of the mum in question and her friend came home from work early to find her poor little girls being shouted at and threatened for wetting herself (she was only 2 ).
Id rather be wrong that have a child suffer unnecessarly.

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