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Help!! Advice needed for settling in with the childminder.

(4 Posts)
MariaBN6 Fri 16-Sep-11 16:55:12


I have a 2 y.o. girl who has recently started with the childminder that used to be my eldest daughter's, so she kind of knows her. The first couple of sessions (only about 1.5 hours long though, one of them with her sister), were ok, she didn't cry, but then it all went terribly pear shaped... She had another short session and she was screaming her head off for most of it. When I picked her up she was sobbing, very distressed and unhappy. Am now really stressed re what to do. Shall I persevere? Are there any helpful tips for her to settle? The said CM said to bring our photos with her as this might help... How long time shall I give it until I realize it's not working?? Have committed to a big project (I am a freelancer) and it's going to be really hard if I don't get any time off...

Grateful for any advice/shared stories.


WoofToYouTooLady Fri 16-Sep-11 17:16:37

persevere, it can take longer for some children to transition comfortably

taking in pictures is a good idea

have you gone through what your comforting routine is with the CM - ie special songs, cuddles facing in or out, does she have a teddy or cwtchy you can bring?

Also, this sounds really hard, but longer sessions can be a boon, as the child has time to have a crisis, with comforting of course, then start being engaged in activities/explore the toy cupboard or garden etc

chin up, it's horrid but I promise you in most cases it will pass, bonding will happen

ChildrenAtHeart Fri 16-Sep-11 17:18:17

This is very common behaviour & I would definitely persevere. Your dd will have now realised that you are leaving her, and may get worse before she gets better. Your CM has made a good suggestion regarding photos. Other popular settling in ideas are leaving something of yours that smells of you eg a scarf, something you HAVE to come back for eg keys, a heart cut in 2 and you keep half each & match them when you return, a bag of special things from home including childs cuddly toy that they can sit with & look through when they want to, put a kiss in their pocket...
It is very important that you stay calm & positive as your dd will pick up on any negative vibes. Leave swiftly with a reassuring 'I love you and will see you after lunch etc, Bye' is good. Never hang around it always makes things worse as it is confusing for the child. Your CM should have some distraction techniques up her sleeve and gradually your lo should begin to settle. It may happen quickly but could take a few months, depending on her personality and how often she attends amongst other things.

MariaBN6 Fri 16-Sep-11 17:43:45

Thanks a lot Woof and CAH for the helpful tips, feeling a bit better now. We've got her down for 2 school hour days, 9 to 3, tue and fri. It does look like there's a big gap and she forgets the place before she comes back again...

She apparently refused to eat as well, which is such a shame as after she eats she normally is much more cheerful...

Thank you again, keep'em coming!


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