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Cm cancelling sessions

(13 Posts)
Wobblyblocktower Mon 05-Sep-11 16:47:10

dd, 3 goes to a lovely cm. We have her there one day per week even though (or even especially since) we have had dd2. All good except we had to reschedule a session because cm's child had hospital appointment. Fine. Then cm says can't do the rearranged session because she's having another of her charges. So we rearrange for this week. Then she says she can't do that session because of another of her charges needing her. I feel that since I had booked first it is unacceptable to keep changing it to do a favour for one of the other parents. What should I do? There isn't a problem with the day we actually have normally this week. I suspect though that I am being made a lower priority because I'm not actually using the time to go to work. But I have a young baby and another one and I am hanging on by a thread some days. The cm sessions are a bit of a lifeline and when I'm expecting one and it is cancelled it feels pretty grim.

TheOriginalFAB Mon 05-Sep-11 16:49:43

Cancelling once is fair enough but not again and again. She should know which children she has on which day so if she booked you in without thinking who her regulars were, that was a bit silly. If she booked you in as there was a space and then someone else wanted the same session, then she is out of order to bump you off.

nannyl Mon 05-Sep-11 16:53:28

agree with Fab

Wobblyblocktower Mon 05-Sep-11 17:52:56

Thanks! Kind of what my gut said really. The hospital session is fine, of course. I would actually have been happier if she had said she couldn't rearrange the session. The two rearrangements were to give additional sessions to other mindees, not because she had forgotten their regular sessions. I'm rubbish at this sort of thing. I am now reluctant to book extra sessions as I have done in the past because I lack confidence that my booking will be honoured if someone else needs the session. But I wonder if I need to be more upfront about how important consistency is to me at the moment. And also whether i need to say that i found the two other rearrangements unacceptable. It's just not cm's place to prioritise need I'd that's what's happening-a booking is a booking. Tbh, I'd rather this had happened when I was at work in terms of impact as I do rely on the cm sessions for a bit of mental space. Or should I just leave it, try booking another extra session and see if it goes better next time.

nannyl Mon 05-Sep-11 17:58:12

i think you ought to mention it.

Perhaps say nicely that you feel your bookings take second place, but although you are at home, you have a newborn too and you NEED some space, and that your DD loves coming to her etc, while you catch up on some very much needed rest.
Perhaps she thinks you dont really need her.... point out that you really do !!

Good Luck (and in an ideal world, of course you shouldnt have to point this out)

Flisspaps Mon 05-Sep-11 17:59:36

In future I would request that any cancelled/unused sessions are refunded rather than rearranged, even if it comes off the next bill rather than coming back in cash.

Do say that you and your DD need consistency, and that once you have booked a session you expect it to be honoured.

If she does it again, then perhaps you should find someone willing to act a little more professionally?

minderjinx Mon 05-Sep-11 18:00:08

I also agree that it is out of order for her to keep messing you about. I also suspect that she is prioritising others with what she sees to be more pressing needs, so maybe you have not communicated clearly that this is giving you a break that you really value/depend on. I would actually say that to her and see what she says. But if she really is really struggling to fit you in a replacement session, maybe you would also be better asking for a refund or credit instead, then at least you would not be kept on tenterhooks.

Wobblyblocktower Mon 05-Sep-11 18:46:02

It's really helpful to see in writing the kind if conversation I imagined was needed. It's so hard to admit how much I feel I need the space and rest at the moment. My name on here sums it up-pretty well balanced but the tiniest knock would send it all flying. And I know it's short term and sleep related. I had hoped that I wouldn't need to admit how much I am relying on cm and the sessions dd has with her-once I'd booked a session that should be that really. But think I'm going to need to front up about it. She has gone the extra mile for us on the day when the baby arrived and I would hate to think I was talking (if only in cyberspace!) about this and not being woman enough to talk to her about it. If I'm not the only person she does this prioritisation of needs with,it could affect her standing as a cm long term.

TheOriginalFAB Mon 05-Sep-11 18:58:25

You shouldn't have to tell her how important a break is, you are paying for a service it is none of her business what you do with the time. If you want to tell her then do but you really shouldn't have to spell it out to her that she has been unfair by cancelling you.

Wobblyblocktower Mon 05-Sep-11 19:20:12

I think this is the problem with someone who is lovely and caring but tries to do all things for all people. She needs to decide whether she can offer extra sessions, which she isn't obliged to do, but then when she does commit to an extra, she needs to stick to it. And you're right fab, it's not really up to her to decide whose needs are greatest-just who she agreed to help first. I imagine I will simply not book extra sessions. She's taking on more children and so the space might not be there and I just can't get the full benefit, which is as much planning my week and pacing myself as it is the actual time, if she's going to let me down. If an unavoidable cancellation comes up I shall ask for money off the bill and only confront the issue if she's unhappy to do it.

thebody Tue 06-Sep-11 00:10:52

i dont judge my parents on whether they are at work or home, if i am cming their child and they are paying then i frankly dont care and its none of my business what they are up to, my responsibility is to honour the contract.

i am also loving and caring but above all of that a professional, hope so anyway, its not up to her to prioritise like this, its a dam cheek and if i were you i would spell this out.

Sleepglorioussleep Tue 06-Sep-11 04:35:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BallerinaBetty Tue 06-Sep-11 10:35:10

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. But in all honesty it ISNT any of the cm's business what you do - what if you had booked an appointment for yourself when your dd was at the cm? She is being unprofessional - rearranging because of a hospital appointment is fine and just one of those things. To then mess you around is not on.

I do appreciate though that it can be difficult to raise with her. Maybe you could write it all down and then ask to meet with her and refer to your notes - explain to her that you are nervous if you like. Its not being fair on you and and its certainly not being fair on your dd - I think the cm needs reminding of this fact.

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