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CM Club: Prospective mum ringing me Monday but currently going through miscarriage

(18 Posts)
Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Sat 03-Sep-11 14:09:31

So sorry to give awful details but I have had a missed miscarraige and Monday afternoon I will be having surgery to get myself sorted, so to speak.

Prospective mum will be ringing me Monday morning: I obviously don't want to tell her personal details but I cannot face arranging interviews at the mo. Also I feel a bit as if I have lied to her, by agreeing to meet with her while I was pregnant.

What can I tell her? Any idea? "Hello, I cannot talk today because I used to pregnant and now I am not and I have to have a D&C. Can we talk another day?" sad

I had to carry on with business as usual in case this very fucking thing happened.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Sat 03-Sep-11 14:11:09

PS name changed a while ago - used to be Numberfour.

Littlefish Sat 03-Sep-11 14:16:23

Oh you poor thing. So sorry you are going through this.

Could you just ring her on Monday morning (or this afternoon), instead and say something like.

"I'm terribly sorry, but could I move our appointment to talk, to xxxx day as I have an unavoidable last minute appointment".

You absolutely don't need to give her any details.

Alternatively, do you feel up to talking to her today or tomorrow? That way, the conversation would be over before Monday?

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Sat 03-Sep-11 14:21:51

Thanks, Littlefish. Not up to talking to anyone today. Fortunately we are in email contact so I will mail her to postpone tele interview to Wed. Thanks for the advice on what to say. Seems obvious when you know but in the meantime things are all a bit fuzzy for me.

nannynick Sat 03-Sep-11 15:49:03

Oh no, sorry to hear your news.

Email them to reschedule. Better trying that than having them call on Monday and getting your answerphone as you are out.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Sat 03-Sep-11 17:22:25

Thanks so much, Nannynick. Yes, will email now. If she leaves voicemail and I don't ring back it will look awful.

ChitChattingaway Sat 03-Sep-11 18:30:45

So sorry to hear your news. Do contact her and move the appointment - preferably giving yourself at least a few days. Let yourself deal with the physical AND emotional parts of this.

leeloo1 Sat 03-Sep-11 21:29:07

You've already had good advice re contacting mum, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear your news. Please take care of yourself. x

bellybuttons Sat 03-Sep-11 21:38:26

All good advice given, but wanted to say how sorry I am for you. Make sure you take care of yourself.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Sat 03-Sep-11 21:59:06

Thanks, everyone. At the moment I feel okay, but tears are never far away. DH is taking it far worse than I could have imagined he would.

Anyway, I have emailed the mum- no reply yet. I may have to ring her on Sun evening and be brave.

WoofToYouTooLady Sat 03-Sep-11 22:00:12

oh sweetheart I am so so sorry


Rudgey Sun 04-Sep-11 07:25:53

I just want to say how sorry I am for you. Unfortunately I have had 3 D&C's and I know how hard it is to carry on with normal life while waiting for op. I truly hope you feel a little better once Monday is over. Sending best wishes your way.

looneytune Sun 04-Sep-11 08:52:45

Oh No4 sad I'm so sorry hun, {{{big hugs}}}. I agree with what others have said but maybe leave it until Friday or the following week to speak? I wouldn't have been up to talking 2 days after my ERPC (very similar to D&C) so might be a good idea to give yourself longer? Will be thinking of you tomorrow xx

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Sun 04-Sep-11 11:30:47

Looney, it is a ERPC actually. The thing is I don't know from one minute to the next how I will feel. This morning I thought I was fine, only to start crying again. So sorry that you had to go through this too.

Thanks so much for the good wishes. It is pretty crap. But I am amazed at how many people have had to endure the same thing.

Rudgey, poor you for having had 3... how dreadful. I do hope that you are okay now.

GwendolineMaryLacey Sun 04-Sep-11 11:39:28

Sorry to hear your news. sad

I would echo the advice to leave it a bit longer. I found that I hit a real low 2 or 3 days after my ERPC and I've heard that from other people too. Can you leave it longer?

thebody Sun 04-Sep-11 13:34:04

so sorry, hugs to you and your family. take care of yourself and give yourself time xxxxxx

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Sun 04-Sep-11 14:40:35

The more I learn about other people's experiences, the more I realise that it was a good thing to cancel all kids next week.

Thanks again, everyone.

At this rate I am worried that my behind will grow into the Been doing less than nothing for the past couple of days. Getting my CM stuff in order will be a good project though, I am very far behind in my stuff.

anewyear Mon 05-Sep-11 09:51:45

Ive been there too sad
I hope your feeling a slightly brighter today, take care of yourself.

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