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CMing for friend, WWYD?

(7 Posts)
fivesacrowd Fri 02-Sep-11 17:08:57

Friend and neighbour has asked me to cm her dc before and after school & nursery one day a week. Dc all get on well at mo but not sure how they'd get on if they didn't have the option of going home when they've had enough of one another. Also, dh has day off sometimes on the day I'd be looking after them and have so far avoided working that day so we have day off together. Just not sure how to say no without offending friend or if I should just say yes cos I'd hate to see her stuck with noone she trusts to look after them. Advice pls

ChitChattingaway Fri 02-Sep-11 17:34:59

I'm assuming you are a CM? You need to be cautious. I really like my CM and have been tempted to become more friendly by inviting her to BBQs etc, but have held back because of the risk to the relationship. The possible repercussions of any falling out would be awful.

For only for 1 day a week - it could be like an extended playdate. Not a bad thing for children to learn to get along for set periods of time - they have to do it at school.

However, the fact that it doesn't work in with your normal schedule yet you are still considering it is, I think, the critical point here. Clearly you have not taken on work for anyone else on that day, yet you are considering it for your neighbour just because she is your neighbour and friend. If you can't say no to this, then how will you deal with any other potential issues? (Late paying, late collecting DC, asking you to do/not do certain things, cancelling the arrangement after you bend over backwards to help her etc, etc, etc).

apotomak Fri 02-Sep-11 17:36:40

I had a friend approach me but I just said 'You know what? I know this brilliant childminder. Give her a ring' And gave her a telephone number of my other friend. I have a golden rule never mix friendship and business. Been there got a t-shirt ... never again.

fivesacrowd Fri 02-Sep-11 17:57:20

Sorry should have said yes am registered CM. Was thinking would be like playdate only they play together all the time, fall out, fall back in but always with the option of getting out of each others way by going home. Plus dd and potential mindee in same class at school so if they've had a bad day it'll come home with them. Fact is all I can come up with are reasons not to, so think will just pass on numbers of other cm in area I like and hope she finds someone she likes too. Just don't want to fall out over this but like you say might fall out even more if I do take them on esp if I'd rather be out for lunch with dh than looking after her dc [selfish emoticon]. Its Friday night I'm off for wine

squinker45 Fri 02-Sep-11 20:00:10

I cm for a friend and initially we said that there was to be a definite thing that it needed to be two separate relationships. However as time has gone on she has definitely gone in the direction of it being just a business relationship (used to stay for cup of tea on a Friday but said no so many times I stopped asking, she never drops round when invited and never invites me when we are both off work)
Now this is very sad but on the other hand makes it more simple in terms of the business. I figure that because we are neighbours then after the business relationship has ended in a few years maybe we will be friends again.

lesstalkmoreaction Fri 02-Sep-11 21:07:53

Absolutely fine childminding for a friend if its all kept on a professional level but for me having to childmind on my day off would be a huge no. if its your day that you get to spend with your husband then I wouldn't do it. If you tell your friend that you are sorry but you are not available on that day then why would she be offended, can you recommend someone else.

fivesacrowd Sat 03-Sep-11 16:17:31

Had chat with dh last night and decided that seeing as I don't work that day and have turned down other prospective mindees for then and since I would feel really strange about taking money from my friend, I've got to say no and recommend other CMs in the area - happy to make introductions and hopefully best solution for everyone. Have to say though I'm really chuffed she asked me cos she sees me all the time with my own dc and my mindees and still wanted me to look after her precious dc grin

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