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I need some advice about a 20 month old who throws everything!

(15 Posts)
CrazyBabies Tue 26-Jul-11 08:58:27

Hi, I have been looking after this mindee for a year now. He is a sweetheart but throws everything on the floor. He throws food on the floor constantly. Yesterday he threw his entire bowl of dinner on the table, then if I don't get there in time sloshes it everywhere. He also has the habbit of smearing himself in food within seconds of me turing my back on him to help the others. Everyday he throws food. I give him a box of raisens and he immediately throws all of them on the floor. If I give him a small amount of food that gets thrown too!
He throws toys across the room, if i nicely place an activity on a little table he will bit by bit throw on the floor. I have tried different approaches eg ignoring and just tidying up mess, but it doesn't seem to be working.
It is difficult when the other children want to play with toys that he messes up and throws.
At meal times I have other children to look after.
Please help - lost for ideas.

Reality Tue 26-Jul-11 09:07:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thebody Tue 26-Jul-11 21:18:46

poor you, what is he like at home?? you have to work with parents for this I think.

in my setting he would get short shrift i have to say.. dont want smelly carpets or more cleaning than necessary..and at 20 months he understands the concept of no.. or should do..

i would watch like a hawk and remove food if he starts throwing it and ignore. him... praise the other children and then let them play after they finish their food, but keep him in the high chair. then give him the option to eat nicely, more throwing then I would let him go hungry until the next meal.. would do this with my own children so treat mindees the same...

agree with REALITY not acceptable to throw toys as could hit other mindees so again a sharp no..and i would then put him in the high chair with no toys and ignore him.. try for 5 mins.. he probably loves the wind up and attention he gets from you as he throws things so take away the enjoyment....

but have to reiterate.. parents MUST be on board with this.. its a discipline issue.. he isnt 8 months...

mellowcat Tue 26-Jul-11 21:28:17

It could be a trajectory schema...perhaps try giving him toys he can throw..balls etc and activities like throwing screwed up paper into a bin.

CrazyBabies Wed 27-Jul-11 09:25:42

Hi, thank you all for your helpful words.
I have been trying to ignore and give no attention, as then he isn't being rewarded by me giving him lots of attention! and I take the bowl of food away the minute I can if I am quick enough and not dealing with other children.
Luckily I have wooden and tiled floors!
He is an only child and I think he wants all the attention.
He smiles when he does it too!
But I have been a lot firmer and immediately remove him from the situation and sit him in a toddler chair - he has started to cry a little so perhaps he is now learning the hard way!
As for the toys - luckily they so far have been little and haven't hurt any one.
If i have a table of play dough set up for example he will throw it bit by bit.
If I tell him off for some thing I have noticed that he will throw whatever he has in his hand.
He had started banging my patio window with shakers etc.... that one I really had to tell him off and he hasn't done it since.
He is the same with his parents. He starts slapping daddy around the face when he arrives and will drop toy/beaker on the floor. Dad tells him off and doesn't put up with it - or we both try and distract whilst I hand over.
Its hard because I set up activities for other children and he wants to destroy, he even goes up to older children and has his hands all over their toy - they are very calm with him.
When in the twin buggy he has his hands all over the other childs face!!!
The other child gave him the same treatment back yest. I bought a really nice toy to fit on pram to distract too.
Sorry this is so long.
I do and start each week fresh and give him so much praise for the good behaviours.

CrazyBabies Wed 27-Jul-11 09:26:50

Mellowcat - please tell me more smile
I like the bin idea and will try.

CrazyBabies Wed 27-Jul-11 09:33:58

Hi again. I have just googled it!
Wow - very interesting. Thanks Mellowcat. Have you minded a child like this? Any other ideas please.

thebody Thu 28-Jul-11 08:52:17

just to say you sound like a really fab cm and trying very hard with this child. i know how trying this sort of behaviour can be and how one child can affect the whole setting in a negative way..

BoysAreLikeDogs Thu 28-Jul-11 09:15:29

CB a doc about schemas here

BoysAreLikeDogs Thu 28-Jul-11 22:42:07

coming back to this

it could be trajectory - so things like buttons to tip out/bean bags to aim into a bucket/water play (used washing up bottles for squirting)/bubble blowing/ping pong ball through drainpipe chute/marble painting might be enjoyed

or it could be scattering - so again, buttons, bean bags, oat play, playing cards, things that can be scattered safely

or it could be percussive, so pan and spoon/coconut shells/pebbles/buttons (again, I have a thing for buttons don't I !) breadsticks (satisfying snap)

or all three, or none ! children are funny creatures grin

smearing food on himself - he must like the feel of it, so add jelly play, finger painting, gloop, shaving foam, bubbly water

any help?

CrazyBabies Fri 29-Jul-11 13:10:31

Hi, thanks again.
BoysAreLikeDogs thanks - I found that one yesterday and found it really helpful. Read throuhg quite a lot of others and have planned a wide range of activities now.
thebody - I do try grin thanks.
So far today all has gone really well and enjoying him.

BoysAreLikeDogs Fri 29-Jul-11 14:11:07

[thumbs up]

Reality Fri 29-Jul-11 14:11:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoysAreLikeDogs Fri 29-Jul-11 14:13:46

[another thumbs up]

Reality, I learnt about schemas doing my level 3 a few years ago, and honestly it TRANSFORMED my understanding of WHY children do the most weird and wonderful things grin

mellowcat Fri 29-Jul-11 14:45:20

Hi, sorry just came back.

A really good accessible introductory book is called 'Again again' by Sally Featherstone. Another is Threads of Thinking. A bit more academic is Thinking Children: Learning about Schemas.

Cath Arnold has recently written Understanding Schema and Emotion, which I think will transform all of our thinking around Schema.

Good luck with it all.

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