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Where do I stand?

(11 Posts)
banjaxed Tue 14-Jun-11 22:53:02

I use a cm 2 days a week. My days are changing in August and my cm doesn't work one of those days. There has been a bit of flux over the past few weeks whilst I was negotiating my hours with work, and asking my cm for help in finding someone new for her day off. Lots of stress on my part, and always spoken about with cm in a small lobby with kids and getting coats, shoes, etc. organised. Anyway, on the day that dh and I had arranged to see new cm, current cm let slip that she had filled our space, not only for the changed day but also for the other day. Now, we had only asked the new cm for spaces fir the dc on the current cm's day off.

Sorry if this is confusing, but basically she has given away our spaces for a day that we hadn't specified we were leaving. And nothing had been put in writing at all. I know she has a business to run, but surely you should double check these things? I am doubly annoyed because the space has gone to a neighbour's child whose sibling us already under her care. And she has said sorry, but has made no indication that she will renege the neighbour's place to let us keep ours. I hate conflict, especially with someone who is looking after my kids, but what should I do? The new cm may only have a space for the second day depending on how someone else's return to work meeting gies.

RitaMorgan Tue 14-Jun-11 22:56:20

Your current CM needs to give you notice in writing that she is terminating the contract.

cjbartlett Tue 14-Jun-11 22:59:48

Seems a bit confusing for the children to have two different cms if just for two days

banjaxed Tue 14-Jun-11 23:04:11

I know, cj. I just wasn't 100% sure about the new one, and I thought a bit of continuity might be good for them, especially as they have good friends at this cm and my eldest is starting school.

minderjinx Wed 15-Jun-11 07:01:17

I think you have actually given notice (albeit verbal) of ending your contractual arrangement by saying you no longer want to have and pay for the days your CM originally agreed to. You don't tell your CM which days you will have - you agree mutually acceptable arrangements! She doesn't have to accommodate changes to your requirements (particularly when they will cut her income) and I imagine she thought that when you said you no longer wanted those days that you would be moving on. I suspect she would be quite shocked to hear you are angry at her filling "your" space when she is doing her best to find you a new CM. ...and most contracts specify four weeks notice, so she may be expecting you to make your notice formal in the next few weeks, or intending to give written notice herself.

HSMM Wed 15-Jun-11 07:35:05

I think she thought you were leaving in August. Perhaps she took the conversation you had as giving notice. She has given it to an existing child's sibling, therefore offering them the continuity that you were hoping for.

Have a chat. I think it is a genuine misunderstanding, but is possibly not reversible (unless she applies to Ofsted for a variation for the sibling, under continuity of care).

leeloo1 Wed 15-Jun-11 08:12:55

Yes it sounds like a misunderstanding.

My feeling would be that because you said you no longer needed the 2nd day, as specified in your original contract, you have effectively given notice that you are ending the contract. If you wanted to renegotiate a new contract then you would need to discuss that.

Did you tell the CM you wanted to keep your children with her on 1 day? Personally I don't take children for 1 day, because they don't settle well and I definitely wouldn't take children who had me for 1 day and another CM for 1 day, because we're likely to have different rules and boundaries and the children would end up either very confused or playing up.

thebody Wed 15-Jun-11 10:10:23

yes all confusing and probably she thought you were terminating her completely..you changed the contract first.. always feel that these important conversations shouldnt take place in the hall with kids around.. if i had been your cm i would have made you put it all in writing with appropriate notice..

it isnt your cms job to organise your child care.. i NEVER recommend another cm as wouldnt want to get involved...

i also wouldnt do care for one day as quite frankly not worth the paperwork to me for such a small amount of time..

banjaxed Wed 15-Jun-11 20:42:04

Good points. I guess I live in a small village and don't expect things to go so rigidly by the book, so to speak. I asked for her help in finding another cm because they all meet for a group once a week and it was an ideal opportunity to sound out who had spaces. Thank goodness someone did.

We have had a chat, but as I said I'm just getting a sorry. Had she known, she would have kept the kids no probs because they all get on really well. Somehow me telling her that I have a Thursday off morphed into her assuming I had a Wed off too. Sigh. We have had such bad luck with cms over the years, plus my work changes my days off year to year (at late notice). It is all such a stress for the kids and me. And the cm, it sounds like. I hate them having to settle in to someone new every year.

raindroprhyme Wed 15-Jun-11 20:47:38

Sounds to me the issue is your work messing you around. If i was you once everything has settled down i would address that head on.

banjaxed Wed 15-Jun-11 20:54:03

I've tried, raindrop. But timetables are timetables, and nowt can be done about them, apparently.

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