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Nursery AND nanny - could it work or am I being stupid?(23 Posts)
For a variety of reasons we decided on nursery for when I go back to work in Aug for DD who will be 1 then.
However we're doing settling in this week and I really don't like the key person and hate the feeling of leaving her in a room full of babies all day.
I know it's normal to find it hard but I also think this is not a nursery I am going to feel happy with. Luckily one I'd seen early on who didn't have a place then nnow does so we're going to check it out again tomorrow - really hoping I like it more.
But I also wondered whether I could just get a morning place at nursery (whichever one we go with) then get a nanny to pick up and do 4hrs in the afternoon. (I should be home by 5 most days so wld be paying nursery for 4.5hrs in pm but only using 3 as hoping to pick up at 4.30)
It would be a bit more expensive but not prohibitively so and DD would get more fresh air, change of scene and one on one time, and I wouldn't have to do an evening pick up and take her home in rush hour.
But is it doable? Has anyone done this? Is it impossible to get a nanny for those kinds of hours? Is it too complicated?
Would be v grateful for any thoughts/experiences.
We mix nanny and nursery, but they each have whole days - so 2 days at nursery, 3 days with nanny. It's working well for us and I should think it's easier to find a nanny who wants to work part time full days than half days.
It wouldn't solve all your rush hour pick ups but it would reduce the stress to a couple of days rather than all five.
Nursery's in England are awful, I have worked in 3 different ones and they are always run by thick bitchy girls with no G.C.S.E's and I've even heard babies as young as 6 months being screamed at and accused of having an attitude problem.
Nannies are much better as they can put all their attention into your child and can change the routine according to where your child is, emotionally, physically, intellectually etc.
I'm sorry that you've experienced that bubaluchy, but I don't think you should tarnish all nurseries throughout the UK with the same brush. DD has been to 2 different nurseries in her life, and had a fantastic time at both. In fact our nanny used to work at the previous nursery that DD1 used to go to.
I used to do that as a student but not 5 days. I thought it was the best of both worlds really because we could go out to different places and do things 1-1, and I did ad hoc care when nursery wouldn't take the child.
Hi, I have a nanny but dd also goes to nursery 2 mornings a week. I can't really comment on the practicalities as we still pay the nanny (she is still working when dd is at nursery) and the nursery. However, it terms of what it has meant for dd... she is 2 and it means that she is getting a mix of one to one experiences with dh and i plus her nanny, and, she has playmates at the nursery. Not sure that at 1, your dd would get the same benefit but HTH.
Bubaluchy! Nothing quite like a sweeping generalisation, is there? By the way, love, it's nurseries when you use the plural, not nursery's, so when you're berating nursery workers about their lack of GCSEs (no apostrophe here), look at your own spelling and grammar first.
we do 3 days nursery/2 days childminder, although it's only 9-3 every day, which is plenty for DS. I like the social aspect of nursery, but also like the flexibility of our fab CM, and it gives ds a couple of quieter days after 3 hectic nursery ones!
I'm glad that people have good experiences with nurseries (!)
Mine have not been good and I will always see them as, money-making child farms that change nappies on an impersonal conveyor belt and are built from bullies and the occasional good person, who inevitably moves on because of the shouting, destroying of children's self esteem, then the sickening false gentility when parents arrive, shudder.
Each to their own though, 'every little helps'
Thanks so much for all the replies -quite a few things I hadn't thought of. Probably should have canvassed for ideas a whole lot earlier but never mind! Still v helpful
Lots to think about. Going to sleep on it and see the other nursery tomorrow then try and make some decisions.
Thanks again and sorry for confusion of accidentally creating two threads - bloody phone!
I can assure you that where I've worked has not been even the remotest bit like that, and all staff have to start taking qualifications when they're there with the younger staff well supervised. You have been unlucky, obviously, but your first post was just downright nasty in tone.
Mackrelmint, we've had a nanny for just over a year now, & it's worked out really well, but for a number of reasons we're putting the kids in nursery for the mornings and she's going to pick them up at lunchtime & have them for the afternoons.
They're really excited about starting at the nursery, but it's nice that they will have a change of scene at lunchtime, & be able to come home & relax, also we won't be battling the traffic to pick them up not a moment later than 6!
Why will you have to pay for the afternoons at nursery if you dc isn't there?
Barleycorn - good to hear someone else doing this kind of arrangement. Sorry wasn't clear in op - I meant that if I stick with plan a ie just nursery then I'll be paying for the whole afternoon but only using 3hrs of it - so this nursery I have a place at works out about 7ph but i would effectively be paying £10ph for pm session due to picking up early - that's partly what got me thinking that a part time nanny might be a possibility because the price differential's not so much when you look at it like that (altho wld need longer of nanny so not that helpful a comparison!)
madlizzy - thanks for your perspective on nurseries. One thing I thought was possible pro of nurseries is training and supervision - nannies on the other hand, whilst some may be brilliant and give children great tailored 1on1 care, if they're crap or negligent there's noone around to see or check on what they are doing.
sorry if I've offended any one I shouldn't let my own bad experiences put people off,
Madlizzy I wish you well
Sorry if I've missed something, but why bother with the nursery at all? She's still very little and doesn't really need nursery yet if you can afford a nanny. They could still go to playgroups and such but I don't see what the benefit of adding nursery at this point is. No axe to grind - I've used CMs, nannies and nurseries, but found the latter best when they're older.
Pink she can't afford a full time nanny- not sure if this is on this thread or the other one.
One thing about nurseries is that while we have a very professional nanny now, we had more disruption overall with our three previous ones in terms of time off for various reasons like illness, quitting because their plans changed, etc. Our first nanny ended up leaving of her own accord but we were going down the path of dismissing her and that situation took A LOT of us. From this point of view, the nursery arrangement was much less hassel. THe financial strain of employing someone for so many hours was also high. We had a lot of worries. I would say don't take on a childcare commitment that you can only borderline afford or can afford but w/o much in the way of 'contingency' money in the kitty for your family as it will be very stressful.
I did these hours as a nanny when i first began - I worked in a school during the mornings and then collected the youngest from school. It's fairly common and at least then if your DD is unwell the nanny may be able to have her so you don't need to miss work.
babalucky, I sympathize with your view on nurseries but you let yourself down with your remark about GCSE's. This is just plain snobbery. you don't need to be academic to be a good nanny allthough some are.
I too have come across some apalling nurseries mainly when interviewing for work between nanny jobs. In one I was told "We don't cuddle the babies they need to learn independence" and
I interveiwed in one where they spun the food across the table like a wild west salon and wiped the childrens faces with filthy grey cloths from a plastic washing up bowl. I was offered a job in this one but declined and let their head office know why.
A local nursery where I live once lost one of their children when she followed me and my small charge and I suddenly realised I had another child walking by my pram. I looked back and saw the children from the nursery about 50yds back and took her back and asked if she belonged to them they obviously not noticed she had gone and glowered at me as if I'd kidnapped her. with hindsight I wish I had taken her to the police station as lost and then her parents would have been told.
I have seen a few good nurseries but not many and if you read the newspapers children are just as likely to be abused in nurseries as by nannies.
we have nanny and nursery but nanny starts at 7.30am and finishes at 6pm as I leave for work at about 7.45am. she takes the eldest 2 to nursery. i am currently on mat leave so when I go back to work she will have my littlest on his own during the morning.
quite common to mix the two, but will be harder to get a nanny for just those few hours unless it is a share?
Just glimpsed over the comments - but back to the original question - why would you like one nursery over another? Make sure you are not being 'smoothed over' by a nursery managers patter. Im a CM , I dont for one minute think that all CM's are the bees knees so to speak! For some reason parents think that nurseries offer education rather than care. I dont think that anyone could argue that the vast majority of nursery carers are paid minimum rate for a tough job and they are all cooped up in 1 building. How are these people with the best intentions going to inspire the young? Am I missing something about the joys of a nursery?? I myself would hate to go into the same !room 5 days a week with a bit of playtime outside, Myself as a CM would hate to stay at home all day long 5 days a week.
I love working with children - but if someone said to me to look after them all day in my kitchen/diner and garden I'd be driven mad!!
Before you choose nurseries look at who exactly is going to care for your child
Oh Amy; you say it so well I do so much with my charges to make sure they interact with other children and the learning they do is through play and geared to the childs individual developement. if we want a day out we can choose that day to suit us and we can go to the park if it's sunny,play at home if we feel like it.decide to do some cooking or playdough on the spur of the moment or have playdates, visit mother/toddler groups the list is endless.I get so cross when it's suggested that home cared for children don't do anything. It's unnatural to be cooped up in the same space with the same children all day.
It said a lot to me that at a job interview the mother said, she was looking for a nanny because her mother in law who had worked in a nursery had begged her not to put the baby in one.
Of couse as a nanny I have to want employers to go down my route but for those who only have one child I suggest they find a good childminder rather than a nursery. after the second child the nanny can be financially on a level. This is because we don't charge more for extra children.
Hi there yes it is doable, i am a nanny and at the moment my bosses children do mon, tue with me then wed and thursday mornings with me and afternoons at nursery but could work the other way too. and then friday with me.... so yes nanny and nursery could work......
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