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unfair family expectations?

(16 Posts)
onlydiamondssparkle Sun 29-May-11 20:27:14

a little background:
(apologies for being long)

I've worked for this family for the last 6 months and they have 3 year old triplets who are in my sole charge

to start with i worked 7am to 8pm 5 days a week and i took them to playgroups, swimming, forest walks, local attractions and the parents seemed happy with this then 2 months ago they decided to put the girls in nursery from 12-6 and cut my pay for when they were at nursery and i agreed under the conditions that i would work 7-12 and drop them off at nursery and collect and look after them from 6-9pm but the time in the day would be my own as they were not paying me (i gave them the option to pay me during these hours and for me to do general child related chores and just incase of illness and they said no)

Roll on to last week of the triplets got ill and was sent home from nursery and the parents wanted me to go and get her i explained that i was not contracted to work during these hours but they guilt tripped me enough that i went to get her and cared for her during my off hours and the next day she was not aloud to go back to nursery due to their policies for 48 hours and when i asked parents who would be looking after the child from 12-6 the parents said i would and when i reminded them that i did not work during those hours due to their choice they made a big fuss about having to take the days off work when all i would be doing was playing with another child so what was one more

I nanny for another child 1-5 i couldnt take the chance of getting the other child sick (she was visiting grandparents on the day i had to pick up one of the triplets so wasnt a issue that day) but now all i hear about is the two days they had to take off work to look after their child i wasnt in the wrong was i?

bigbuttons Sun 29-May-11 20:28:53

They are taking the piss

Dilligaf81 Sun 29-May-11 20:30:14

No they were def in the wrong. They had the option to pay a retianer so you would be avaliable but they chose not to.
If they keep mentioning it I would remind them that you have another charge as they didnt want to pay you for those hours and if they have changed their mind here are your new inflated prices.

lukymum Sun 29-May-11 20:38:08

Pleeease! You are definitely in the wrong. You are a professional, and are not at someones beck and call. You have another child in your care and even if you didnt, its your time. They dont pay for it, and you could have had other things planned.

Do not feel guilty please.

onlydiamondssparkle Sun 29-May-11 20:41:29

I just needed to check with a few sane people i wasnt going crazy by thinking i was in the right

I have mentioned i offered to be avaliable for the nursery hours and they flatly refused and then they begged me to agree to the new terms as the triplets became instantly attatched and i then had to find a new child in the hours i had free so i could agree to the new terms they went off muttering saying they thought i would be more flexable

nannynick Sun 29-May-11 20:42:05

No you are not in the wrong. Sounds like you are being very accommodating agreeing to a change in contract from 7am-8pm to 7-12, 6-9pm.
You have another job 12-6 so they need to realise that you are not able to help them out, unless it just so happens to be convenient for you to do so.

Where do you go from here... I'm not sure. Would you go back to doing 7am-8pm if they paid you for that? Would they go back to that agreement?

onlydiamondssparkle Sun 29-May-11 20:47:32

I dont want to go back to the 7am-8pm because i would feel like i am letting down my 1-5 child and family and they are so nice plus my original family dont agree with nanny share as they think their children will get less care and attention if they agree to that

eurycantha Sun 29-May-11 20:56:57

I have a three day job ,a one and a half day job and an after school til 9.30,you work from 7am til 12 and from 6pm til 9pm, you must not feel guilty for what they chose when they cut your hours ,you have to make a living and if they have reduced your wage by 5? hours you had to work elsewhere to make up the money.I think I would have said that I was unable to collect their child and that if they wanted me available they must pay me .if one of mine asked me to look after theirs on a day I couldn`t I would just refuse ,your employers obviously knew that you had to get something else when they cut your hours..It was a pity that they couldn`t keep one at home with you and send the others to nursery on alternating days .I do think it good for twins and triplets to be on their own with their carer sometimes.They were da..... lucky to get you to do 7 am til 8pm Five days a week with triplets.

harrietthespook Mon 30-May-11 09:27:36

The triplet family sounds like nightmare, inexperienced nanny employers who don't appreciate that their requests are unreasonable.

Put your foot down re working the hours they are not paying you for.

Really, I would be looking for another position. Maybe you could find another family to do a share with your second 1-5 family?

Blondeshavemorefun Mon 30-May-11 09:36:05

def in the wrong and tbh you were insane nice to agree to the new hours they suggested

HSMM Mon 30-May-11 17:18:37

So it would have been OK for you to take 2 days off your (other) work, but not OK for them to take 2 days for their own children?

You are not in the wrong.

LisaD1 Mon 30-May-11 20:20:48

You are no way in the wrong. They are taking advantage of your kind, placid, nature and in your shoes I would be looking for a new job and getting rid of that family asap!

gourd Tue 31-May-11 14:48:19

I'm not a childminder but no way is that a good way to treat one! It sounds like they really want a nanny, not a childminder. You're perfectly right, you're contracted for the hours you've agreed with them and that's it.

thebody Tue 31-May-11 19:30:51

cheeky gits..errr you might point out that actually these children belong to them and are ultimately thier responsibility... or fu...in pay someone else properly to do the caring for them... what a cheek!!!!

stick to your guns.. you do this for money right.. like they work for money.. love to hear them squeal when their boss asks them to work for nothing!!!!

sunnydelight Thu 02-Jun-11 00:05:56

Wow, they are taking the piss. You are so not in the wrong. I think you need to reiterate to the triplet parents that THEY CHOSE the current situation which means you are not available for emergency cover then stop answering your phone to them or the nursery while you are doing your other job.

ConstantlyCooking Thu 02-Jun-11 09:45:32

You are not in the wrong. They had the option of paying you to be on standby and didn't take it. They cut your hours and pay. How did they expect you to make up your salary? You should tell them that you helped out this once but that it meant letting down another family so that in future they need to have emergency plans in place (that don't involve you). If you don't make a firm statement about it, they will keep expecting it and they won't appreciate your kind nature.

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