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Potty Training and Childminder

(22 Posts)
NoseyNooNoo Thu 26-May-11 18:09:00

I'm currently potty training DS. He is 'getting there' but needs to be reminded to use the potty. At home he may have 1 accident a day.

He goes to CM twice a week for 6 hours. There he has lots of accidents and often comes back in a nappy.

Is it normal for a child to be worse with a CM than at home? In my experience my children have alaways done everything better at CM's.

Any thoughts from CMs or parents?

HSMM Thu 26-May-11 18:15:14

Children are often different at home and other places. Sometimes they are dry at home and not the CM, and sometimes the other way round. The CM also has lots of other children to watch and may not notice the 'signs' immediately.

looneytune Thu 26-May-11 18:23:31

I'm a CM. VERY normal to have more accidents here than at home if you don't have a crazy house smile I've had mindees who were fine at home and then had accidents here but at home they didn't have anyone else so I found a lot was due to not wanting to leave toys in case someone else took them, the fact we have lots going on etc. Same happened with my own ds2 at preschool, he was perfect here and then kept wetting himself there (and I knew it was because they had lots more children to distract him and it was a newer environment for him.

Having said that I have mindee whose mum said they'd decided to train on Monday (mindee wanted big girl's knickers). Mum said there were LOTS of accidents at home so I was prepared and decided to miss group (this is not standard but the other 3 little ones were more than happy to miss group as they'd been saying about staying here anywhere). Anyway, Tuesday we had ONE accident and one in potty, rest of the time dry (in 10 hours!), yesterday was 2 on the potty and no accidents and today was not a great day but the only accidents were on the 2 school runs when there was a pull up over the knickers 'just in case' (mum's idea). Had she been like she had at home and kept wetting herself after several days, I'd have probably suggested trying again another time BUT I wouldn't have put a nappy on without speaking to mum (unless I had run out of spare clothes!).

So it really depends on why the nappy is on at the end of the day but I certainly wouldn't worry about the fact he is having more accidents there, totally normal (i've trained/helped train several children now wink)

thebody Thu 26-May-11 19:03:08

agree with all the above.. settings are busy places and you have several children to watch so cant always be on hand for one..

however i think its a bit confusing for your ds to have a nappy on sometimes and sometimes not.. imo its best to go for it all of you for at least 4 weeks and then review if still lots of accidents.

are you giving cm loads of clothes changes???

NoseyNooNoo Fri 27-May-11 18:52:25

Thanks for the advice. I am so used to my children being better at anything when they are not with me that it seemed odd for DS to be worse at potty training with CM.

MUM2BLESS Fri 27-May-11 22:37:26

I have now got a policy which includes this.

Talk it over with they Cm and try to work together with this. CM have very different routine as you already know.

I once dealt with a little one who mum sent her in pants. It was not always easy as she would not always let me know when she wanted the toilet. She would also do a no. 2 in her pants which was not always easy to deal with. I did ask mum to send nappies or pullups in the earlier stages. It must have seem like a backward step to mum, but I was not sure what to do. I then had to deal with changing her pants whenever necessary.

whether using the training toilet seat or potty, it takes time. It does require patients especially from the childminder.

Give lots of praises when the potty is used!!!!

Every child is different as you know.

Blondeshavemorefun Sat 28-May-11 05:44:48

accidents happen but i would be pissed off if starting to pt my child and then the cm put back in nappies

it sends mixed signals and have always said when start pt , no nappies unless nap time

yes a cm may have lots of children/school runs etc, but thats what potties/spare clothes are for

if the child is ready they will be dry within 2 weeks

poopnscoop Sat 28-May-11 13:32:55

I am a CM and have helped potty train many kids. I do have a standard rule of potty training being done at home at least 1 week prior to me continuing the training here, as I cannot have tons of accidents here, for hygiene reasons for the other kids... I look after under 3s (and crawling babies!).

I take potty training seriously and ask the lil one often whether they need the loo. My success rate is very good, generally 1-2 weeks totally dry. But then I only have 4 kids max with me at any given time, so can give the toilet training child the attention and reminders they need.

I work alongside mum, we have reward charts etc. and I NEVER put them in a nappy except for sleep time, as this is confusing for the child I feel. Yes, we might miss out on outings that week, but so be it.

MUM2BLESS Sat 28-May-11 23:17:39

How do you handle a child who does no 2's in their pants and not in the toilet? It was not always straight forward as one of my past mindees did not always tell me when she wanted to go to the toilet. English second language.

Accidents will happen but it how you deal with it.

It was also a challenge for mum too.

You have to use wisdom if you are on the school run etc and you are not always near a toilet. If the child does a number 2 (in thier pants) then you have to either get to the nearest toilet or if not possible change them when you get back.

I would not be too keen on bringing a potty with me on the school run. I once saw a child minder get out a potty in the play ground. I would not do this with any minded child and definately not if my kids were being potty trained.

I sometimes have to use the school toilet if one of one of the little girl needs the toilet. I usually try to get them to use the toilet BEFORE we leave out.

Would love to hear your views on this.

HavePatience Sun 29-May-11 20:22:48

What's wrong with using a training potty when out and about? confused

MUM2BLESS Sun 29-May-11 22:43:41

I would not feel comfortable putting a child on a potty in the play ground. It would be different if there was some way of putting something around the child for their privacy. What if they wanted to do a number two? what then?

If my kids were young I would not like anyone to do that to my kids. Its a personal preferance.

Some people are okay with that but in this day and age I would not like it. If I am in doors that different.

Does anyone agree with me?

MUM2BLESS Sun 29-May-11 22:57:52

Nosey noonoo sorry not taking over your talk, just answering a question.

Blondeshavemorefun Mon 30-May-11 09:34:31

mumtobless i take a potty on school run (lives in the car) and yes when babs said she needed a wee/poo i placed on pavement and she did a poo,which i then tipped into a nappy sack

and continued with the school run smile

MUM2BLESS Mon 30-May-11 11:13:35

what about the childs privacy especially in this day and age. Some parents would be happy for you to do that, but I would not. and I would not do that we anyone elses child.

I do realise that everyone does not think the same as me.

HavePatience Mon 30-May-11 13:21:00

I guess we all have different views. There's nothing wrong with that at all.
I'm glad I chose a cm who is comfortable doing this or it would have really slowed down his PT progress.
To each their own.

Blondeshavemorefun Mon 30-May-11 13:34:16

Babs happily shows her knickers to all at school when she started pt an happily sat on potty in full view

My school run takes an hr in am and nearly 2hrs in pm so if babs needs to go for a wee or poo she can't wait

HSMM Mon 30-May-11 17:22:40

I have a car potty too. It goes somewhere discreet when possible, but otherwise, wherever it is needed.

Blondeshavemorefun Mon 30-May-11 17:31:18

hsmm yep when and where ever - country lane/pavement/school playground/shop - if pt and they say they need a wee,then you need to take heed grin

footychick Mon 30-May-11 17:59:58

I had exactly the same problem, I used to work part time with my DS going to a childminder Mon-Wed. He used to do really well at home and hardly had any accidents, but every Wed afternoon he would be back in nappies! my CM was not overly busy with only one other LO. I spoke to the CM a couple of times but she simply did I not understand that I DID NOT want my DS put back in nappies.

After alot of deliberating I decided to look for a new CM, from the day my son started he never had an accident again.

(I am a CM and understand the stresses and hoops needed to support a child through potty training, but my CM just was not on the same wave length as me)

MUM2BLESS Mon 30-May-11 20:41:08


I am not saying that little ones should be put back in nappies when with a childmdinder, as its a step backwards.

I had a situation where the little one was not communicating with me, perhaps due to language difficulties. I was having accidents because she was not always letting me know. This included doing number twos in pants.

Children are ready at different times to be potty trained. Some perhaps feel more comfortable when at home.

It takes patience on all sides.

At the end of the day it takes working in partnership with the parents in potty training.

HavePatience Mon 30-May-11 20:52:53

I agree MUM2BLESS smile
My DS doesn't say when he needs a wee and it's quite frustrating. My cm is just fantastic and has learned to read his signs when he's desperate and always just tells him to go to the potty before they go out or after a snack/drink...etc. He's dry most days with her now. Sometimes he'll have a poo in his pants, but she just cleans it up and carries on. He's having a lot less of that now, though.

Tanith Tue 31-May-11 15:34:13

Mmmm! I remember DS's nursery head teacher once taking him on her lap for a cuddle because he was clutching his tummy and she thought he had a pain...

Luckily she had spare clothes at school grin

If I'd seen him do it, of course, I'd have known instantly that he needed the loo and he needed it NOW!

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