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1st Au Pair change

(7 Posts)
VickyPon Tue 11-Jan-11 20:55:44

Dear All,

Whilst sitting here in tears I thought I could do with some advice. Our first Au Pair is leaving us next week after a great year. The new one arrived at the weekend and although the weekend went well my daughter has been awful since. She has always had a terrible temper and she is certainly letting all of us experience it full pelt over the past 2 days. She is screaming and shouting at me and the two Au Pairs and hitting me. I know that she is going to miss the first Au Pair but I am at my wits end with her. I cannot talk to her as she just gets angry and shouts.

What have the rest of you done to help ease the transition? I thought a week handover would help everyone but it is just making life awful at the moment. I feel awful but I do know deep down how much happier DD has been with an Au Pair rather than the Childminder. I also feel bad that I have bought a 19-year into a really difficult environment as now she is here she seems more nervous than when I interviewed her.

Any advice gratefully received.

Yours in despair.



starrystarrynights Wed 12-Jan-11 12:20:38

I don't have any words of advice but just want to empathise.

I posted a couple of days ago about a our wonderful au-pair who was due to leave soon. I came home yesterday to see that he had cleared out - taken all of her stuff, the housekeeping money and the £200 advance that I had promised her to help with house move next week sad.

Naturally she did not say bye to us. DD is totally distraught that she has left without saying bye, in tears last night and over breakfast this morning and its breaking my heart.

I'm not sure what the best thing is to do to be honest, just wanted to sympathise.

Lizcat Wed 12-Jan-11 13:27:36

My DD was very similar after our second AP left when she was 5 and half years old. I sat her down and explained that we were all sad that AP was leaving and that we would all miss her, however, it was not acceptable to take this upset out on everyone else, but it was okay to cry.
It did not go away immediately, but I kept reminding her of all of this and within a couple of days things were better.

fedupwithdeployment Fri 14-Jan-11 11:29:58

Our boys have (to varying degrees) been slightly upset when APs have changed. We have never had a handover period...usually a few days / week or even a holiday between departure and arrival, and they have coped really well (it is all forgotton after a day or so). To be honest the most difficult time was this christmas when our lovely AP went home for a couple of weeks. We told him we were going away and she would be lonely and she needed to see her mummy and daddy...and he soon got over it!

chloeb2002 Fri 14-Jan-11 20:07:13

I second fed up.. We tend to have a couple of weeks au pair break.. This seems to clear the way for the new ap to arrive.. Excitement for the children, signs to take to the airport etc...

VickyPon Sat 15-Jan-11 18:00:49

Thanks everyone. The old Au Pair leaves on Tuesday and things are quiet for the moment. Tuesday will be the big test. I might try not having a handover next time and see if that makes it easier.

We are taking both APs and children to Bath tomorrow as a special day out. I used to study there and haven't been back in 15 years so it will be exciting for me as well :-).

Hope everyone has a good weekend.


MilkNoSugarPlease Sun 16-Jan-11 11:36:35

StarryNights- that horrible! Poor you and poor DD!

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