Talk

Advanced search

This topic is for discussing childcare options. If you want to advertise, please use your Local site.

Nanny/ mummy issues

(27 Posts)
lobsters Thu 06-Jan-11 21:33:55

DH has mentioned a few times that DD calls our nanny "mummy" when I'm not around, and our nanny doesn't correct her. DD is almost 2, and speech has come on leaps and bounds in the last few months. Our nanny's name does end in "-mmy", so it might be a pronounciation issue, but it has sort of upset me.

What is the best way of raising this with the nanny without sounding precious? Is it an issue? I'm feeling a bit upset about it, but I think this is compounded by being back at work after 2 fab weeks with DD and getting a text today from our nanny telling me what a lovely day she is having with DD.

rusmum Thu 06-Jan-11 21:39:19

DOES SHE DO IT ALL THE TIME? sorry caps . I am a teacher and the children often call me mummy. It doesnt mean she has replaced you in her affections, just that the nanny (teacher) is fulfilling the caring role. You should be happy your daughter is comfprtable/happy enough to call her mummy x

SlightlyTubbyHali Thu 06-Jan-11 21:41:56

Honestly I think they all do this. My DD has been known to call me the nanny's name too. And I remember calling my reception class teacher "mummy"... God, that was embarrassing!

euracantha Thu 06-Jan-11 21:47:52

I am a nanny and I have had children calling me mummy occasionally,I just used to laugh and say `Who am I `and they would laugh and say my name.I must admit that I would normally just laugh it off.

bigdonna Thu 06-Jan-11 21:50:38

im acm and i have had lots of kids calling me mamma but it sounds like my name donna.i also nannied for 16yrs and the same happened there!!!!wouldnt worry too much

looneytune Thu 06-Jan-11 22:12:40

Another childminder who's has this with many mindees. I do correct them most of the time by saying something like 'mummy is at work, i'm looneytune' but very casually and wouldn't always if it happens a lot. I honestly wouldn't worry, totally normal

Herecomesthesciencebint Thu 06-Jan-11 22:19:53

ah DS2 does this (hes 3). calls me nannys name on the day after he has been with her and calls her mummy sometimes. Its an accident I think as they are used to saying one term and they dont realise it would upset us so dont correct it IYSWIM.

Whatever the cause, I think its lovely that he holdsher in such high esteem! They know who mummy is really you and you will always be number one!

You probably wouldnt mind for example if she called your DH mummy by accident sometimes, its no different really.

At the end of the day, just compare knowing your DD is with someone she adores and feels safe and loved with against how you would feel to leave her with someone she gets anxious about or seems not to like. No arguement really!

One question tho, you say DH has mentioned it a few times. Is he aware it upsets you? Im surprised he felt it was sensible to mention it at all really and if he in any way picked up that it concerned you why did he mention it again? Does it bother him?

CommanderDrool Thu 06-Jan-11 22:22:09

My kids do this with their favourite aunty. It doesn't mean anything. Really, they know who their mummy is...

Blondeshavemorefun Thu 06-Jan-11 22:34:19

It doesn't mean anything and if anything means your dd is happy with new nanny

It's almost a force of habit

Very rare for my 3 to say it but if they did I would say who am I and they would shout blondes

cinnamondanish Thu 06-Jan-11 22:37:32

As a nanny I've always had this and think it is usually just part of the job. I understand that it can be upsetting. It can also be upsetting for parents when children don't want to run into their arms when they come home but might want to stay sitting on the nannies lap or stay playing with her. I always try to encourage the children to at least say hello to their parents if we are in the middle of something and if called mummy it's always corrected and laughed at.
I would be concerned that she isn't correcting your daughter when she says mummy. At that age your child is capable of understanding and a slight slip of the tongue is easily corrected.
Maybe it's just easier for the nanny to ignore it than keep correcting it ?

nannynick Thu 06-Jan-11 23:55:49

I've been called Mummy grin I've also been called Daddy.
It's normal... even older children do it on occasion, especially if they are not fully concentrating.
Like Loonytoon, I would say something in a casual way to the child to remind them that I'm not Mummy or Daddy.

eeyore12 Fri 07-Jan-11 09:35:51

I look after a 6 year old who sometimes calls me mamma, daddy or the name of her other nanny, she just gets confused when calling/excited and forgets who is there.

It is a bit like my mum would get me and my sisters names wrong sometimes.

I usually do say I am not whoever and she laughs and calls me one of the others as a joke instead.

SydneyB Fri 07-Jan-11 09:40:29

Mine call our nanny 'Mummy' a lot. They also call me by her name a lot! I'm just happy that they're happy to be honest and obviously love our nanny and feel secure with her. Don't sweat it.

anewyear Fri 07-Jan-11 10:19:39

Hey another childminder here who gets called mummy, mum, daddy once (lol, Im female)

My name also starts with a M and ends with a Y

I guess it could be upsetting to hear someone else rather than youself being called mummy, but as others have it would seem that they have a lovley, close relationship, she is comfortable with her.
Personnally I would be more worried prehaps if she didnt call her anything at all (I had
a mindee like this, never used my name in the year she was with me!) or talk about her
day with Nanny.

wolfhound Fri 07-Jan-11 10:30:01

My son calls me Daddy sometimes - usually if he's just spent an hour or two with DH and then come over to me. He's called me Grandma a few times in similar circs He doesn't think I'm his dad or grandma, and often he'll giggle when he realises he's said it (I usually reply by saying 'Yes xxxx - where xxxx is his brother's name). I think it's partly just they're used to saying a particular word to get the attention of the adult they're with. I don't think it's a problem, but I can understand why it bothers you. My nanny is similar colouring to me and my DCs and strangers often think she's their mum and say something to her/them about 'Mummy'. The thought of that bothers me a bit, tho I know it's silly. Haven't said that to nanny as it's not her fault. She does correct them. And apparently DS usually giggles his head off at the stranger's stupidity. Don't worry. Children know who their mum is x

lobsters Fri 07-Jan-11 12:52:25

Many thanks for your replies, it's good to know it's normal.

I think the working mum guilt has kicked in big time after Xmas, and I'm really missing her when I'm at work, so this just compounded it for me. And it's still lovely to come home every DD and have DD being pleased to see me (although she does look happy with her nanny)

fridayschild Fri 07-Jan-11 13:33:24

My DC are 7 and 6 now, still do this. They call me Nanny and DH - I have always taken this all to mean "Adult in charge for the day"

We shared a nanny when DC1 was little and the nanny share child also called me Mummy. It was all he ever heard me referred to as...

Tarenath Fri 07-Jan-11 17:49:08

My youngest charge used to do this. The first time she said it in front of one of her parents I was so embarressed! None of us saw it as an issue though. She used to call most women "mummy" and most men "daddy". I would always correct her though.

StarExpat Fri 07-Jan-11 20:04:33

My students call me "mummy" sometimes, but correct themselves after (6-8 yo). I would feel if I heard DS do it to our cm, even though we both adore her and I know it's totally normal. So I sympathise.

StarExpat Fri 07-Jan-11 20:06:27

Sorry meant to add - I wouldn't think of it as an "issue" I would just feel sad and I know I would. But I would know in my head that it's normal and all is ok and he knows I'm his mummy. I think it's normal to be a bit uncomfortable or feel a bit of a pang in your heart from it. Just remind yourself after that it's a good thing that they are comfortable and they don't mean anything by it.

PositiveOutlook Fri 07-Jan-11 20:16:38

My dd would point to men (of any colour) in the street and shout daddy, which was really embarrassing blush

I would only be concerned if nanny never corrected her smile

PositiveOutlook Fri 07-Jan-11 20:19:03

Sorry, meant if your nanny never corrected your dd

Sequins Fri 07-Jan-11 21:18:41

I think it's probably OK. How old is your DD? Mine is 15 months and when she says, "Mummeeee!" it actually seems to mean "Feed me!" (still bf).

Kewcumber Fri 07-Jan-11 21:20:56

my mum is often "mummy" and I get "nanny" but to be fiar I once called DS by the cats name do I'm not in any position to throw stones!

SlightlyTubbyHali Fri 07-Jan-11 21:23:05

Positive - I used to record Grey's Anatomy and watch it in the day. DD1 would stand in front of the TV and talk to "Dada" whenever McDreamy appeared. Any dark-haired man would do...

And then over christmas DH was looking after the kids and when I got home from work DD1 started calling ME "Daddy". I'd be offended but it's kind of funny.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now