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CM Club: mindee's mum still looking for childcare?

(10 Posts)
PositiveOutlook Sun 02-Jan-11 10:28:48

I have a new mindee who started just under a month ago for 2 mornings a week. I wasn't looking to take anyone else on but they live on the next street, Lo settled in straight away and is lovely and mum needed someone to start immediately. We have a very flexible week to week contract, I only charge for the hours attended and we have an understanding that we will review the contract in a couple of months or if there is any interest from anyone wanting the space on a more permanent basis. I thought we have an honest and open dialogue (as much as you can as childminder /parent).

I regularly check websites to get an idea of how many local childminders have vacancies and I have seen this mum on there and I can only presume she is looking for alternative childcare which I completely understand she has a right to do and it really isn't any of my business as long as our agreement is honoured.

So why am I so upset? I know it isn't rational of me. I have even stopped looking on the website because I know how bad I will feel if I see she has been on there. I am considering giving notice because I want to feel valued and at the moment I feel like I'm a stop gap. I feel used if I am being honest.

definitely not sane or rational confused

HSMM Sun 02-Jan-11 10:40:32

I think she's still looking for childcare because you have told her you might give notice if someone else wants the space on a more permanent basis? Even if you just meant she might have to sign a permanent contract, she could still be looking around for someone who offers the flexible care you are giving her.

Talk to her about it, because it probably doesn't mean she is unhappy with your care.

HappyMummyOfOne Sun 02-Jan-11 12:06:00

I think HSMM has it right, you told her if a better option comes along you would need to review. If that was my childcare provider I would be looking to move too as childcare needs to be consistent and not with a parent wondering if this week they will be given notice as someone who pays more has come along.

PositiveOutlook Sun 02-Jan-11 12:29:34

Sorry, I don't think I made it clear. She is aware that I am not looking for other mindees and I am happy with the situation as it is and I am happy to continue with this arrangement for as long as she is. I know I was the first childminder she saw so she might not realise how flexible I am being by not charging holiday and sick etc. I can understand her looking around, that is her choice but it does make me wonder if there is something wrong with me or my setting.

pollywollyhadadollycalledmolly Sun 02-Jan-11 19:12:51

I doubt it is anything personal, but it sounds like she is ur OH and you have caught him on a dating website or similar. It comes off to me as if you feel she is 'cheating' on you, by being on this other site.

I wouldn't worry. If you were the first CM she seen she may just be being nosey to see who else is out there and what they charge. It sounds like you are a good CM and quite flexible, which other may not be. So i woudln't stress about it.

StarExpat Sun 02-Jan-11 19:55:22

Positiveoutlook it may mean nothing I'm still on the website and I am totally happy with my cm! The only reason I'm still ther is because I paid for it and I wanted to use it until my money ran out (silly, I know!) anyway... At first when my cm was just starting, I used to look at other parents looking for cms in my area and sometimes email them suggesting my cm because I think she's great

I think my membership has run out now but profile prob still up. But i don't use it. It says I'm looking fr childcare. But I'm most definitely not. Been with my cm for nearly a year, btw so I'm not your mindee's mum wink

StarExpat Sun 02-Jan-11 19:56:44


ojmummy Sun 02-Jan-11 19:57:38

I wouldnt worry too much. I am a Mum who uses a CM that I am very happy with, I still check childcare boards though out of interest (and also because I do night nannying). I look at other CMs just incase I ever needed one although I dont post on any forums/boards that I am looking for new CM. I would though if I felt there was a chance my CM may give notice. I think with me it is a nosey thing plus like to know what options are out there incase things change with CM or my/her circumstances etc.....

Sandym3g Wed 05-Jan-11 00:03:33

I thought the same thing with my mindee parents. I had got them originally from the Childcare website. After we had signed contracts and the mindee started with us I saw that they were still logging on from time to time. (I check every day as we need to get more mindees).

I joked with the dad about seeing him on the website and asked if he was still looking. He said no they are happy with their child with me but he gets messages so logs on to check them out. A curiousity thing. I told him to stop people from contacting them he could blank out the profile.

Not long after that the profile stopped coming up under recently logged in. Although it might have been because I accidently clicked on his profile so he knew I had been on at the same time if you get my drift.

StarExpat Wed 05-Jan-11 09:38:10

Some people are just nosey <me> and after spending so much time looking for childcare, just like to nose around the site a bit more, especially if you've paid for it iyswim. I didn't want to blank out my profile. And I was getting messages from other parents asking me if I'd interviewed some of the cms/nurseries on the site for our same area and what I thought. I was so keen to refer my cm, too, as I said.
There is nothing wrong with your mindee's family still being on a childcare website. If they are happy with you, they will stay, it doens't mean they are looking to move their DC.

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