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DS and nursery issues...

(6 Posts)
AliGrylls Fri 10-Dec-10 10:04:59

Was not sure where to post as it involves quite a few issues.

Recently I started putting 18 month old DS1 into nursery one morning and one afternoon a week. I am a SAH and the reason why I decided to put him in a nursery is because I was pregnant (had baby 3 weeks ago) and because I thought it had got to the stage where it would be good for him to socialise a bit more with other children.

Anyway, initially he was fine with the nursery we chose. He didn't cry and I thought it was a really sweet place. Over time though, he has been crying more when DH/I drop him off and this morning even before DH had even parked he was bawling his eyes out. Apparently it took him ages to settle. By the time we go to pick him up he is fine and seems happy enough, although he tends to be quite tearful/clingy after we bring him home.

What I really want to know is, is this behaviour likely to be caused by something that is happening at the nursery (I am starting to have reservations about it - the staff aren't particularly engaging, the room is a bit pokey and there never seems to be anything going on activity wise); or is it more likely that it is the arrival of the new baby that is making him behave in this way?

I am thinking about taking him out if it is the nursery and finding some other solution. Advice is appreciated.

chitchatinsantasear Fri 10-Dec-10 10:38:02

You've just had your baby, your DS is probably feeling really out of sorts. His home situation has changed completely and he's upset about it. It will sort itself out over time, but there are things you could do to help.

Firstly, are the days consecutive? It can help children to have consecutive days somewhere so that they 'remember' it better. It helps their routine. Is there anyway you can have some 1 on 1 time with DS1? I understand this could be difficult as you've just had another child, but if your DH could spend some time with DC2 while you go somewhere with DS1 for a short time (maybe a playgroup, park, or just even a walk) that might help over a period of time.

The alternative could be to find a nanny for 1 day a week, or 2 half days - quite a few nannies look for morning work when their hours are cut when children go to nursery/school. They could then take DS1 to playgroups so he could still be socialising, but it's not that same long time away from you.

moogster1a Fri 10-Dec-10 10:38:37

Maybe 18 mnths is a bit young and he'd benefit more from the home environment of a childminder. He'd still get taken to toddler groups every day for socialising etc. but is less likely to get left to his own devices in a crowd of children all day,
There again, I'm a very biased childminder!!

chitchatinsantasear Fri 10-Dec-10 10:41:24

Actually - moogster1a is right. My DS1 and DS2 have just started with a CM 2 days a week, and DS2 is only 16 months old and is having a blast! A bit different because he's a second child, so more outgoing than DS1 was at the same age, but he loves playing with the other children at the CMs.

But when DS2 was born I had a part time nanny to help out with DS1 and it worked a treat! That's why I suggested it, but a CM for 1 DC would be a lot cheaper than a nanny.

nancy10 Fri 10-Dec-10 12:16:11

It is quite normal for children to settle really well and then when they realise that they are going on a regular basis they have a change of heart. The fact you've had another baby is probably why he's a bit unhappy as there has been alot of change in his life. By moving him to a different nursery/childminder may add to the problem. I would either stick with the nursery or remove him completely and keep him at home until he is older.

looneytune Fri 10-Dec-10 13:57:14

I would have said give it a bit more time as they can often get upset AFTER they've settled and also with a new baby BUT.....I don't like the bit where you say 'the staff aren't particularly engaging, the room is a bit pokey and there never seems to be anything going on activity wise'.....I'd be looking more at that to help you with your decision tbh.

I'm a CM btw.


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