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The BIGGEST way to upset your childminder is.......

(43 Posts)
Booh Mon 06-Dec-10 11:51:23

Bounce a cheque on them and make them go over drawn!!!


dmo Mon 06-Dec-10 12:13:07

oh dear i had one bounce the other week, glad i got rid of the business account as i would have had to pay for it bouncing

badgerhead Mon 06-Dec-10 12:16:50

Yes that along with paying LATE!!!!! and taking the piss with your time keeping.

Numberfour Mon 06-Dec-10 13:39:37

Sending your child in when it is clear as day that the LO is sick sick sick (cue the calling of emergency services as a result of severs asthma attack)

RosieGirl Mon 06-Dec-10 15:03:01

5 Mins ago had a parent ring up to say "sorry going to be late will pick up at x o'clock", nowhere in the message did it say, please, thank you or IS IT ALRIGHT DO YOU MIND, because although I am here waiting for the school bus, I usually have 20 mins to try and get ahead to sort out dinner before the after schoolies and picking up from nursery, then feeding 5.

Not that I would say no, its just the assumption that I will.

new2cm Mon 06-Dec-10 17:55:03

What is grating me at the moment is receiving children dressed in little more than summer attire during this record-breaking freezing and snowy weather.

Yes, I do have a wardrobe of spare warm clothing, but children from about the age of about 3 onwards prefer to wear their own clothes. Besides, children should be dressed appropriately for the weather.

I have told the parents, and the parents have acted on my request for appropriate dress, but having to point out the obvious makes me cringe. Maybe cringe isn't the right word, but I'm sure seasoned childminders will know what I mean!

Mum2Luke Mon 06-Dec-10 19:12:45

Not pay your childminder, be late picking up and send children in next to no clothes/ no change of clothes and sending children when they are sick because they haven't read their contract!! Grrrrrrrrrrr!

Also not making your child minder feel appreciated. Most of my childminding friends get given gifts at Christmas, I was looking after 3 boys last year, did all I could for them, running around to after school clubs etc - not ONE bit of appreciation. I terminated their contract this year due to bad behaviour, searing and being bitten by one of the children!

Rant over!

MaureenMLove Mon 06-Dec-10 19:17:28

Arriving five minutes before the school run, in the depths of winter, with 4 year old girl, with very long, thick hair, soaking wet. 'Sorry, I got up late and I haven't had time to dry her hair, because I'll be late for work!'

So now 6 school children are going to be late for school, but hey, as long as you're alright!

thebody Mon 06-Dec-10 19:48:27

omg... are we cms revolting... sooo understand and empathyse with all the comments..

did a thread on this on sunday...







mindingsaproperjob Mon 06-Dec-10 20:51:14

Beat this !

This afternoon Ive walked for a good 20 minutes to do a school pick up in treacherous icy conditions, fallen several times incurring shoulder and back injuries only to get there and find out that mindee was having tea with Santa and didnt need collecting till 5pm. Mum had forgotten to tell me. GRRRRRR

HSMM Mon 06-Dec-10 22:12:55

Don't drive into the driveway at 70mph, BECAUSE THERE MIGHT BE SMALL CHILDREN THERE!!!!!!

OhMylanta Mon 06-Dec-10 22:36:49

Goes both ways, ladies:

Not refunding money or adjusting next month's bill when you've clearly been overpaid for the month (as you insist on being paid in advance, it makes it hard to adjust easily when there have been sudden changes to the schedule)

Further to above, being the first to complain about not being paid on time (read your contract, I ticked "in arrears", not in advance. How was I to know that you expected to be paid before you had done any work? Unfortunately, I don't get that luxury!)

Expecting a present for doing what is essentially YOUR JOB (I don't gripe when my boss doesn't pass me a little something something at Christmas) - if you're not happy with a biting toddler, then say something, rather than expecting a bribe

Sending a message to a parent saying, "Oh, my DC has been struck down by a D&V bug but you're more than welcome to send your DC in if you'd like"; basically saying I'm "available for work" (when you clearly aren't) so expecting to be paid regardless

Sending a message to a parent saying, "Oh, my DC last puked yesterday morning, so it's ok to send your DC in if you'd like" for exactly the same reasons as above

Further to above, when I send my DC in 24 hours after they have last vomited (after most likely contracting said bug from CM's child), complaining that they ought to be kept off for at least 48 hours after as you "have to protect other charges", totally ignoring or not getting the irony of your statement

Feeding young toddler charges without bibs which have been sent in by parent, thereby ensuring that DC get more food than is necessary caked and dried all over their clothes (of course I love doing extreme laundry just so you can do without bothering to use a bib)

Claiming that my DC's poo is "not normal" - it is not my fault that you have never taken care of an exclusively BF baby before

My DC doing a poo just before I come to pick them up and you handing them over in their dirty nappy without even asking whether I would be happy with you changing them first

Dressing DC warmly when leaving my house and explicitly saying to you that they need to have a layer removed when indoors in your house; yet, DC return to me at the end of the day with heat rash from wearing their jumper indoors unnecessarily

Handing my DC over to me saying they've had a bit of a poo explosion but may have some left on them after you cleaning them, so I should probably give them a bath. That's what I always want to hear - you implying that you may not have cleaned my DC adequately hmm

I could go on, but I'll stop now.

Numberfour Mon 06-Dec-10 22:56:20

OhMylanta: that's awful! I hope you have moved your DC to a better CM - there are many, many, many good ones around.

And we all just need a bit of a moan now and then...............

HSMM Mon 06-Dec-10 23:42:40

ohmylanta. Completely agree with all your points. Apologies for my grumpiness, but i haven't had a holiday this year and i'm desperate for my three days off at christmas. I do invoice in advance, but i do make that clear verbally and in my contract.

PositiveOutlook Tue 07-Dec-10 07:44:33

OhMyLanta, your cm sounds odd. Who leaves a LO with heavy clothes on indoors to the extent that they get a heat rash? And how can anyone not clean a child properly ?

Your comment about bf babies poos made me laugh, I thought there was something wrong with my dd when her poos were like scrambled egg until I was told it was because she was bf smile

Saltire Tue 07-Dec-10 08:01:32

Playing outside the childmidners house in the snow, whilst completely ignoring your child who is at the mindees window having a tantrum because he can see you and his dad having fun without him

Going to the christmas fayre when your childrena re there with the childminder and when they go to spek to you you say "oh you're with saltire today ask her for money/cake/visit to santa"

thebody Tue 07-Dec-10 09:45:54


you have inded a strange cm so dont actually recognise any of your points as pertaining to my practise but sure they happened to you...

why dont you move your child though??

OhMylanta Tue 07-Dec-10 10:08:38

Because, believe it or not, I actually have a CM who is great with my DC.

I know how hard it is to get DC to wear a bib at home to eat, so I would go so far as putting them in an already manky vest for mealtimes if I don't want them to ruin their clothes (as she takes them out everyday, she does not have that option if she feeds DC lunch on the go).

The poo-thing is because of course she had never taken care of a BF baby before as most mothers would have stopped by the time they return to work and retain her services.

The heat-rash thing has happened to me too when my DC absolutely point-blank refuses to take their jumper off - plus, DC gets heat rash just by blowing some lukewarm air in their direction.

As for potentially still having traces of poo on them, she's just covering herself but I have yet to take DC's clothes off and find remnants of poo on them.

Though the D&V thing I was not happy about - I had a strong chat with her about it and we came to the agreement that the 48hour rule would stand both ways and I would reserve my right not to pay her for the day if her DC were ill.

What I was trying to show is that sometimes people are thoughtless, most times not. If it's extreme, then of course I would remove my DC from her care. But it's not and, on the whole, I have a great relationship with her (so do my DC) - but simply focusing on the negative snapshots can paint a very different picture.

I guess I just wanted to have a reverse moan smile

PS - She has never asked for a present, but I frequently gift her bottles of vino and will be getting her a Christmas present. However, I would not have been happy if she had simply expected it as par for the course and griped if it didn't happen. And, FWIW, my toddler doesn't bite (yet!) grin

thebody Tue 07-Dec-10 10:36:32

ytes understand your points and of course works both ways.. just sometimes from cm point of view its all take and no give.. think we all need a holiday!!!!

pollywollyhadadollycalledmolly Tue 07-Dec-10 13:25:39

Parents not paying on time

giving you the sob story when u ask for your fees.

Turning up late in the morning but not contacting to let you know, so u get up at 7 in the morning when u didnt really need to get up until 9!!!

Sending kids in with fizzy juice iun the morning!!! Like i can allow your kids to drink that whilst in my care!!

Giving a mindee a birthday pressie and getting no thanks from the parents!! How ungrateful!!!

Turning up late and not giving any notice!! I have a life too you know!!!

Not signing kids daily diary, or taking yur reciept out of it. Obv you havent read it then!!! Love that you have so much interest in what your child has been up to all day, for a week!!!

minderjinx Tue 07-Dec-10 16:09:59

"Handing my DC over to me saying they've had a bit of a poo explosion but may have some left on them after you cleaning them, so I should probably give them a bath. That's what I always want to hear - you implying that you may not have cleaned my DC adequately"

I can relate to this one - I'm pretty sure I've said something like it! But to qualify, it's been a case of child having poo explosion minutes before pickup (or even minutes after supposed pick up time!) and I've said ideally I would have given him/her a bath but haven't had the time - you will probably want to do that as soon as you get home. There is a limit to what you can do with a handful of wipes, or even a packet full.

Tanith Wed 08-Dec-10 00:54:05


We expect to be paid in advance because so many parents pull a fast one and don't pay us. Read some of the comments about late payment and bouncing cheques and maybe you'll understand. I should think every childminder on here has had at least one non-paying parent of one type or another. Were we to have your luxury of a more or less guaranteed payment at the end of the month, we might not need to do this.

You say your boss doesn't give you a Christmas present - do you give them one? And their children? Like we do?

Maybe you'd prefer your childminder to keep quiet when her child has been ill like so many parents do when they send in sick children, more often than not dosed up with Calpol so we won't notice until it's too late.

My DD was 10 weeks old when one of my minded children was slipped in with an S&D bug. He'd been sick all day and night before his mum sent him and she didn't tell me because "she was busy at work" (her excuse when I challenged her, after the child himself told me).
Of course, it spread right round the other kids, inconveniencing their parents and making their families ill, too. My DD caught it and was hospitalised because she couldn't keep anything down. I will never forget sitting in the hospital with her, wondering if she was going to die.
But hey - it's essentially my job, isn't it? hmm

I change many children's nappies after they've been dropped off only to find they're still a bit dirty from the last change. It happens however carefully they may have been cleaned at the time because sometimes faeces leaks a bit after the nappy change, especially if he or she has had an explosion. I always tell parents if it's happened on the last change of the day for precisely that reason, so they can check and bath when they get home.
Would you prefer your childminder to say nothing and risk nappy rash?

OhMylanta Wed 08-Dec-10 04:38:08

I don't see why I ought to be penalised for another parent not paying. I don't really see my boss being able to get away with, "Actually, loads of people have shirked/resigned etc, so for that reason, we are going to pay you late until we can ensure that everyone pulls their weight this month" hmm

I most certainly do not get an Xmas present from my CM. She has bought my DC one in the past, but at her own behest. As far as I am concerned, DC is still too young to understand Xmas presents and most certainly do not need one (hence why I don't intend to buy them any for at least one more year). It was lovely of her though; however, I can't remember reading somewhere that one only buys a gift to receive gifts. Do correct me if that's the spirit of Christmas giving.

I don't expect her to stay quiet when her DC is ill, but I do expect her to realise that NCMA provisions on illnesses (which I was unaware of until she showed them to me when I brought my DC in) require her to keep her own mindees off for 48 hours after her DC's last spell of vomiting/diarrhea if her DC have a D&V bug, which means she should not be expecting payment for the days as she is unavailable for work.

I most certainly tell my CM if my DC have been ill, and if she expects some leeway from me when it comes to 48hr rules, then the same goes both ways. I would not send my DC in if they had been vomiting that day, but as she seemed to be ok with a 24hr rule for her DC, I quite rightly expected that the same would go the other way - unless of course my DC have magical powers of infection that her DCs don't hmm If you are trying to imply that if a DC has Calpol it means they are too sick to be sent in, I hope you have the same policy if you or anyone else in your household were to take any paracetamol for a minor headache, common cold etc.

I always change my DC as soon as they get back from CM's, regardless of poo explosions. However, if a CM is concerned about faeces leaking, then I don't see why a check just before the DMs pick them up is too much to do. By all means mention it, but it's still implying that there may be remnants afterward, which would mean that you actually haven't cleaned them up completely. Not the biggest crime of the century (as a DM with previously BF DC, I'm also well aware of leakages and have gone through many a whole pack of wipes for just one poo!), but it would still make me go hmm (the same way I would go hmm if my DH tells me the same thing when he has had DC for the day)

All this is by the by. Like I said before, I love my CM but like everyone else in my life (friends, family, colleagues, strangers etc, and myself included!), there are certain things that will always make me go hmm. I was just on here for a reverse moan, but do feel free to raise any other points I may not have mentioned.

dmo Wed 08-Dec-10 08:09:54

ohmylanta i deff agree with you over the cm ill child she should pretend its a mindee for the day and put herself into other parents shoes if her child is ill she cant go to work

makes me cross when cm are at baby group with their older child off school due to illness but they feel fit to take them out to a baby group hmm makes my blood boil

btw i am a childminder

Numberfour Wed 08-Dec-10 22:11:19

"makes me cross when cm are at baby group with their older child off school due to illness but they feel fit to take them out to a baby group hmm makes my blood boil" DMO, that pisses me off no end! Makes me so cross to see that.

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