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Childminder problems please help me?!!

(18 Posts)
natandchris10 Wed 01-Dec-10 11:19:50

Right! I have a feeling this is going to be poor judgement on my behalf!

DD (8months) has been going to a childminder for a couple of months now, started off at 6 hours and then i quit my job cause it was shite, obviously didnt want to let childminder down so i still sent DD for the 6 hours as i had to pay for them, i have been going to various interviews so she has been having dd for a little bit more for me which is great! I have a few concerns which i want to stop her going they are;

1, DD was always crying when CM's partner was around, i figured it was because he doesnt have a beard however CM has now split from her partner.. i have a feeling DD was upset due to arguing or atmosphere..

2, DD came home with a horrific nappy rash yesterday which was not there in the morning..she was there 6 hours, went with 6 nappies came home with 5.

3, DD came home absolutley covered in shit.. food everywhere head to toe!! CM hadnt used the bib i put in her bag and hadnt bothered to remove a layer of clothes in order to feed her, Her socks every time are BLACK!! The house isnt very clean bits all over the floor etc.

4, CM seems to have a different family member staying with her every bloody week, This last week she has a sister staying with her who is pregnant and has a LO, She says she has a crb for working with disabled children however i have spoken to CRB who advised that CRBs are not tranferable and she would need a new one to be working with childminders now.

My question... having them concerns, Can i pull my LO out immediatly without having to pay her for notice, which i think is 4 weeks.

Sorry its long!

scoutliam Wed 01-Dec-10 11:59:34

I don't think you can not pay notice, surely that'd be breach of your contract.
You need to speak to her about your concerns at the very least but if your that worried take her out and pay what you owe.

squirrel42 Wed 01-Dec-10 12:52:28

Ok... if the standard of care is below what you'd reasonably expect from a Cm then you could say that the Cm has breached the contract between you and therefore you don't have to pay your notice period fees. But if she disputes this and takes you to the small claims court for the money, do you have proof that will stand up in court?

1. You thought your DD cried when the Cm's partner was around because he didn't have a beard? Have I misunderstood this or is that quite an odd sentence - she's scared of men who don't have beards? And you can't make an asumption that just because someone has split up, that means they had blazing rows in front of your child. Bit of a leap.

2. Nappy rash sounds like more of a problem - did you ask why she hadn't been changed more frequently? Does she often get sore easily? You need to talk to the Cm about this, but you can't really say that once instance of nappy rash = automatic neglect.

3. If her house is that filthy then why did you leave your child there in the first place? You can't expect it to be a showhome when there are lots of kids around everyday but a certain level of hygiene should be maintained. And children do get dirty, but you'd expect a bib to be used or a change of clothes to have been made if they are absolutely covered in food, etc. Do you supply a change of clothes? Did you ask why she was in that state?

4. Other than registered assistants, other adults should never be left with minded children. So your DD should have always been supervised around whoever else was staying at the house. Ofsted should be notified of other adults who live on the premises or come for long stays so they can check them out and do a new CRB - but we're talking a few months here. They wouldn't expect to be told that someone was coming over for a week, because by the time they sent the CRB form out to be filled in the person would have left! This only sounds like a problem if these visitors stay for extended periods, or if she's leaving them unsupervised with the mindees. Your Cm probably told you her sister has a CRB just to reassure you that she isn't an axe murderer; but if this woman has moved in on a longterm basis then Ofsted should be notified so they can update the checks.

aceandskill Wed 01-Dec-10 13:34:21

Hmm might be better just paying the notice and getting on out of there - less stressful for you.

ps squirrel i reckon OPs DP must have a beard...or it may be the beardy doing the posting?

jendot Wed 01-Dec-10 14:25:49

1) You are making wild assumptions here...even if her partner was an issue if CM has split from him surely he isn't around anymore and therefore not a problem anymore...

2)Babies get nappy rash ocassionally.... as a FAB cm I have many a time sent a child home with nappy rash and huge apologies and reassurances that I have been changing them and putting cream on etc...I often had nappies next the the changing table so didn't always use the ones from the childs bag....this could SO easily be solved with a quick chat to the cm and asking her to change dd nappy more often and apply cream. If Im honest for 'my' children I only ever changed them when wet/ dirty...sometimes they would stay in a nap for 6 hours if it didn't need changing!!!

3) A dirty baby is a happy one.....IMHO I would be more concerned if baby was coming home clean!!!

4)Its good IMHO for children to be around other children and adults..it makes them socialble and be less likely to be shy. She doesn't need a CRB to stay with your cm but she shouldn't be left alone with your dd. Im sure dd is enjoying having her little one there.

TBH it sounds to me like you don't need cm to have your dd and are trying to wriggle out of paying your cm's notice period...which is not on!

If you have a contract you are bound by that unless your reasons for withdrawing dd can be proven and you are prepared to be dragged through the courts.

natandchris10 Wed 01-Dec-10 14:37:16

I should of explained about the beard thing, all the men in my DDs life have beards and for some reason she crys when there is a man without a beard really strange!

With the cleanliness of the house, When i drop her off all is ok and it is clean and tidy but then when i go to pick her up there is food EVERYWHERE, yes there is always a change of clothes in her bag.

The thing is though i cant afford to pay for 2 childminders and im really unhappy with her .

natandchris10 Wed 01-Dec-10 15:01:36

Jendot...

I can assure you i am not trying to 'wriggle' out of anything.. i was actually increasing hours again next week upto 25 as i start my new job on tuesday!!!

Yes i agree my LO is happy when she is dirty..however caked from head to toe in food stuck in her hair/fingers/face black socks etc etc do you think that this is acceptable?

LO is around lots of kids and adults however i always know who they are.. i have no idea who she is and i am unhappy that these people are coming and going...

If you find these things acceptable maybe you should not be a childminder!

squirrel42 Wed 01-Dec-10 15:14:05

You have clearly decided you are not happy and want to take your DD out. You have asked whether you can do this and justify not paying the notice period fees.

I explained the legal position, and both jendot and me went through the concerns you mentioned and explained why we thought these probably didn't amount to a breach of contract on the Cm's part. It's no good just coming back and being huffy because we haven't said "sure, that's fine - you can take her straight out and not pay a penny".

If you genuinely feel she has provided such a poor standard of care that the contract has been breached, fair enough. But when you get taken to court for the fees you have to stand by that and provide evidence. Otherwise your legal position is clear and you have to pay.

natandchris10 Wed 01-Dec-10 15:18:27

Squirrel i thank you for your advice yours was constructive and not judgey.

I wasnt being huffy but i dont appreciate being told i am trying to wriggle out of something when all i am doing is asking is for help on a situation..

nannynick Wed 01-Dec-10 17:30:44

Doesn't sound like there are grounds for removing your child immediately... so why not give 4 weeks notice and still take your child there? Sure she might get a bit dirty but children do... especially when learning to eat. At 8 months I would guess your DD is having finger foods... so being encouraged to feed herself.

natandchris10 Wed 01-Dec-10 18:05:56

maybe i should upload a picture so you can all see the extent of how filthy she was anyone know how i do it?

Booh Wed 01-Dec-10 18:14:15

Hello

I am a childminder, and I can see why you are unhappy.

Yes children get dirty, but some effort should be made to clean them up. I sent home a 1yo who had soup all up her arm, it happened at tea time and totally missed the bib. But I did try and wipe it off, if it had happened at lunch time I would have popped the top off and either sent it home in a bag or washed it.

As for the state of the house, mine gets dirty during the day, but I do go around with the dust buster around the table or have a 30second sweep.

IMHO it does sound as if the childminder isn't a good fit.

Dont lose heart there are some fantastic childminder out there

nannynick Wed 01-Dec-10 21:07:04

When you first went there... was the place quite dirty? What about all the time your DD has been there to date... has it been dirty during that time as well - I would guess so, thus why now bring it up, yet ignore it in the past.

Talk to your childminder about your concerns - tell them that you are considering giving notice as you are not happy with the current standard of care. Give notice if you feel it is no longer what you are wanting and it is unlikely to improve.
However it is not grounds to terminate without paying notice. It's not as though you will be going to the police in the morning to file a complaint about serious abuse, is it? If it was serious level of abuse, then that would be grounds to refuse to pay notice.

StarExpat Wed 01-Dec-10 21:20:15

If you are unhappy, then pay her notice, remove your DD and get another cm. That's what I would do. It would hurt, financially for a little while but I want the very best care for my DS and I wouldn't hesitate to take him out of a situation in which I felt uncomfortable. I would not like him to be dirty and covered in food each day. Surely it can't be comfortable for a child to have food all over them. A quick wipe over after eating isn't that difficult.

lollipopmother Thu 02-Dec-10 07:57:05

I'm a CM and I send my mindees home with a certain amount of food on them sometimes, depending on their age [embarrassed]. They certainly won't have filthy socks from my carpet though. The nappy rash could happen to anyone, I have sent my mindees home with awful rash sometimes and feel horribly guilty about it, but I always know that I've changed their nappy regularly and nothing more could be done. If your LO was at the minder for 6 hours and used 1 nappy that sound fine to me, it'd mean 1 change after 3 hours, it's what I'd do tbh.

natandchris10 Thu 02-Dec-10 10:16:06

nannynick, No when we first sent her it has been fine, However since the CM has had family coming and going it seems asthough she is not being looked after properly.

I went over the contract last night and it doesnt state anything about notice being paid it just says 4 weeks notice for removal, so i am going down this route. I have found another childminder who i have been round to and is recommended by a friend. I personally dont feel i should have to pay her when the only reason i am removing DD is because of her personal life meaning the care of my child is lacking.

apotomak Thu 02-Dec-10 11:34:56

I think you're a little harsh. As a childminder I would prefer a parent came to me with concerns and not just post them on the forum. You've obviously made your mind up but it's a shame that you put trust in childminder with your own child yet you're scared to talk to her about the issues. Some of them could easily be resolved and to be honest she probably has no clue you even have issues.
As to notice period I'm afraid you will have to pay it ... if not willingly then the court will make you.

jendot Thu 02-Dec-10 13:43:01

Removing her without paying notice is obviously your decision none of us without knowing your cm and dd can make any kind of decision for you...just be prepared that she probably will take you to court for the payment of the notice period and if you present the reasons you have stated above are you unlikely to 'win' therefore you will end up paying notice period/ court fees etc and it will cause you and the cm a whole lot of grief and cost YOU a whole lot more money.

If you think dd is unsafe with cm then make a complaint to Ofsted about her and withdraw her from her care but unfortunatly you are still obliged to pay her the 4 weeks notice if a notice period is in your contract.
If dd is safe and happy then give the cm 4 weeks notice and move her to the cm in 4 weeks time.

Im sorry you didn't like my post earlier and that you think I must be a bad childminder(Im not sure why I feel the need to defend myself but fyi I am an ofsted outstanding childminder, who runs the local cm network, inspects for Ofsted and trains new cm's....so like to think I have a reasonable grasp on what is acceptable and not as a cm!).

As posters we can ONLY judge the situation and give advice on your original post and the information you give to us to me your posts read

" There are a few things Im not that happy about at the childminders so I have found someone better and I want to move dd straight away and I don't want to pay notice to the old cm"

Assume at work they had a few concerns about you so they found someone better and sacked you their reasons were a bit wooly (and they hadn't discussed them with you but had posted about on the internet) without notice pay...how would feel? Would you take them to court for loss of earnings? I know I wwould...

Its valid if YOU have concerns about your dds care to remove her to a different cm no one is disputing that but as others have pointed out you are still obligated to the contract you have signed...

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