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Is something wrong between DS and CM?upset.

(5 Posts)
2wamama Thu 18-Nov-10 09:46:24

Hi I need advice.
DS 2.5 yesr old has been with CM for about 2 years. It used to be OK, he was happy to go to hers. Recently he changed dramatically, cried very often for not going. This morning was the worst, starting with "not wake-up time" to no clothes, no trousers, no socks, no shoes, no coat to no car, no seat belt to no Karen (CM).He fighted the whole morning which made me and DH really frustrated.

I noticed he recently refused or very reluctantly to kiss Karen for byebye, Karen said she felt DS did not want to talk to her,even avoid her too. I had a little coversation with him yesterday:Karen likes Oliver (his name). He said: no karen not like Oliver. karen only likes Harry. Harry is the other same age boy Karen is looking after.

Harry's mum is very close to Karen I know. Sometimes I think I should communicate with Karen more but I could not because I must rush to after school care for DD.

Can not think more info, please help me. After this morning's war, I feel very bad.


moogster1a Thu 18-Nov-10 09:58:47

I'd guess your little chap is becoming a little boy who wants to exert some control over his own life!
I've looked after a lo before where they loved coming to me for a couple of years, hit the terrible 2's and suddenly didn't want to come here and wanted to stay with mum.
It's a classic situation which luckily I've only had once and it only lasted a week then all was back to normal!
Ime it wasn't that anything had changed or the little boy was unhappy here, he just wanted to make his own decisions and got very frustrated that it wasn't up to him to decide when he came to play.

jendot Thu 18-Nov-10 10:58:58

I would say that around 10m-1yr and around 2-2.5yrs long term mindees seem to suddenly go through seperation anxiety phases.
At 2-2.5 they are leaning to exert their will and it is natural that your son would prefer to be with you rather than the cm.
He will also easily pick up on that when he says bad things about the makes you feel guily and provokes a reaction. Kids love to get a reaction!!
Normally it passes quite quickly. Have a chat to the cm and let her reassure you that he is fine with her (get her to text odd pictures of his day maybe). Just be upbeat about his day and what he will do with the cm etc and TRY not to let it show that his comments bother you.

2wamama Thu 18-Nov-10 12:50:49

Thanks to moogster1a & jendot, you made me feel much better! I will talk to CM this evening.

RosieGirl Thu 18-Nov-10 12:55:12

Agree with what the others have said. A little boy I care for also went through the same problem at around 2.5, even though I have cared for him from a baby.

Mum would get very upset, and I would text her to let her know that he was absolutely fine (usually 3 minutes after she left), he is now 4 and still enjoys coming here.

Have a chat to your minder, if you can't stop on pick up/drop off, ask if you can give her a call one evening, to settle your worries.

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