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CM CLUB- I quit!

(9 Posts)
TheBreastmilksOnMe Fri 05-Nov-10 16:21:48

I have been a CMer for nearly 3 years now and I am so happy to announce that I only have a week left!

I havn't enjoyed it very much and although I've done my best to make it work it's just made me miserable.

It's taken me a while realise but since I've been honest with myself I feel like a huge weight as been lifted off my shoulders.

I came into it at the same time I got pregnant and thought that it would be the perfect job to be able to afford to be a SAHM.

I just find it so stressful and I just don't like other people's children very much if I'm truly honest. Everyone says I'm good at my job and the children love me, we do loads of activite etc but inside I have felt like a fraud and it was making me miserable. I also find it mind-numbingly boring and it's very hard to not be able to give my own DS the attention I feel he deserves. I hate having to divide my time between him and children that aren't my own.

I've hated the fact that my house is not my own and I couldn't have a lazy day and just leave the tip to mooulder as I have parents/babies coming around. I've hated going to mother and toddler groups and doing other actvities without my son as he has had to stay with my mother due to him struggling with jealousy around the mindees of his own age. It kind if defeated the whole object of becoming a CMer!

So. This has been very cathartic as I havn't really been able to talk to anyone about how I truly feel so to anybody who has read this- thanks for 'listening' smile I am in awe of those of you who have done this job for decades and if anyone else feels similar then I would like to hear your story because I don't think I have ever come across anyone who also doesn't like this job, there must be some people? It does feel sometimes as though there is a bit of a conspiracy about it all! But maybe thats just me.

HSMM Fri 05-Nov-10 16:50:05

I'm glad you are feeling good about your decision. I have been a CM for over 10 yrs now and I have to say that at times I have felt like you do, but on the whole I find it very rewarding and fullfilling. If I had felt at my lowest all the time, I would certainly not want to carry on.

I don't think people realise how much of a drain it is on your own time, your time with your DC and the state of your house.

Good luck in the future. If you check in on here in 10 yrs time, I will probably still be here, enjoying wallowing in play dough and smelly nappies .

MUM2BLESS Fri 05-Nov-10 17:14:58

It amazing I just started the thread what do you like about cm, posted it then noticed your thread.

Sorry you did not enjoy it. Being pregnant and childminding must have been hard for you. I know how it feels being pregnant, could not imagine childminding at the same time.

You are so honest about how you are feeling.

Enjoy your time with your son, as time flies.

All the best with the future!!! smile

AmbleInAnnBoleyn Fri 05-Nov-10 17:17:10

CMing doesn't suit everyone, and you have done the right thing by calling it a day

Well done and the very best of luck

RTKangaMummy Fri 05-Nov-10 17:34:40

I was a CM but then gave it up when they bought in all the silly rules and paperwork and made it more like running a nursery

I am sooooo pleased that I have stopped smile

I now train a Guide Dog Puppy which is really rewarding and I don't even mind that I do it without being paid as I know that she will go on to help a blind person get some independence.

I did Childminding for about 9 years but boy oh boy I am so pleased to have stopped

I totally agree about the impact having parents arriving and meaning you can't have a relaxing day also the impact on your own family

BUT for me it was the paperwork that made the decsion final

smile

So enjoy being a Mummy

smile

RosieGirl Fri 05-Nov-10 18:46:43

Good for you and your decision, best wishes for the future.

I enjoy the children, watching them grow and be happy having fun, the activities that we do, the benefits of being self-employed and at home.

Hate being at home ALL the time, never being able to meet up with other friends for lunch (non CM's), desperately trying to tidy the house on a Sunday evening as I have early starters on Monday, would much rather veg out watching x-factor or Strictly, no one outside childminding understanding that I am NOT A BABYSITTER (including my DH who after 7 years still thinks he can ask me to do bits during the day as I am at home), but mainly the paperwork which really gets me down, taking up my own time after 52 hours of "contact time" with children.

Oh, and sneakily eating chocolate so little ones can't spot me and beg for some grin.

LoveMyGirls Mon 08-Nov-10 07:31:56

Good for you for being honest and deciding what you want to do.

I'm ready for my xmas hols now, I love my job, there's nothing else I've ever done that is as rewarding and that I have worked so hard at and take such pride in, I have found a paperwork system that works so I don't get stressed over it, I am consistant and strict but full of praise, love and I'm interested in how the children I look after are developing.

There are times when I'm only human and I've had a particularly hard day and the house looks like a bombs hit it, my back is killing me and all I wanna do is forget about the mess and get in a deep bath but I can't because I have to get the place ready for the next day, or times when I find it hard to switch off from work because I live and work in one place.

Over all it works for me now and in years to come when I do quit it will be because of the toys, car seats, highchairs, pushchairs that clutter the place and the fact I don't want to work more than 55hrs per week anymore. It will never be because of the children.

TheBreastmilksOnMe Mon 08-Nov-10 13:21:51

Thankyou all for your replies and I enjoyed hearing about your own stories- both the positives and the negatives. You all sound like lovely CMers, but human too and it's nice to know that everyone feels it sometimes.

Rosiegirl- I do that! Chocolate tastes so much better when eaten on the sly!

Mum2Luke Fri 12-Nov-10 17:23:28

I totally agree with you TheBreastmilksOnMe, I have that feeling sometimes when the mindee is misbehaving or his mother has a day off to go visiting someone in hospital and I end up having the lad when I was supposed to have a day off. I had made plans but had to undo them as she still wasn't here at the time agreed.

I love childminding but sometimes I feel we get walked over and taken advantage of by some parents who think its ok not to pay us on time yet expect us to give the children snacks/tea or go Christmas shopping and then we are not able to do our own due to our own children being present.

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