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What to do with first child when you have a second child

(5 Posts)
LemonDrizzles Thu 15-Aug-19 16:23:53

Hi there, I'm seeking some advice.

My other half pretty much does very little at home. Thinks that it's a woman's role to clear up breakfast. Won't help with any laundry. If he clears up dinner, he's a martyr and goes on about it for days. If he loads the dishwasher, won't scrape the plates so the dishwasher gets clogged. Will always put something in to block the spinner in the dishwasher and then things aren't clean and I have to wash by hand. If he unloads the dishwasher, puts things away in the wrong place and it takes weeks to find. Last Fri night he went out and told me I was not allowed to ask him to do anything all weekend because he had been out the night before.

So now we are expecting our second. I would very much like to maybe have my older child out of preschool a few days a week to save money whilst I'm on maternity leave. I know it will be a lot to cope with because everything in the house falls on my shoulders but I was wondering am I being too ambitious having the older child home on Thus and Fris from when the new one is 3 months old? Can I know what others have done in a similar situation?

I want to save money but I know my other half will regress even more when the second one arrives.

I'm just trying to manage my expectations here and also plan for how long I'm going to have off for my maternity leave.

Mylittlepony374 Thu 15-Aug-19 16:32:38

If I was you I'd try and address the limited help from your other half as a priority.

That doesn't seem like a partnership and really with two kids you need your partner to be contributing equally.

My experience was that having my (then 19month old so slightly different) toddler continue her creche days while I was on mat leave was a sanity saver. It meant those 3 days a week I could sleep when newborn did & I could actually get things done e.g. groceries, laundry. And I have a husband who does a lot at home.

Congrats on expecting your second, hope the above is in someway helpful .

Blondeshavemorefun Sat 17-Aug-19 21:44:33

I think your post should be what do I do with my useless partner

Having another child isn’t the issue

He needs to man up. Help you

Assume you get the 15free hours so I would use those abs maybe have one day with eldest at home

jannier Tue 20-Aug-19 13:49:35

Sounds like you already have 2 children no way would he get away with that if I were you he would have no food no washing etc and number 2 would not be his. What a lazy arsed wombat. Uses the I muck it up so you do it ploy...he would be using his own dirty plate in my house as I wouldn't wash his.

TeaAndToastx2 Fri 30-Aug-19 18:56:25

I have my eldest (age 2) at home with me and my baby is 3 mths old. I took him out of nursery completely as it was far too expensive for me on maternity leave. The difference is, my husband is out the house 12hrs a day for work but when he is here he will help.

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