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How do you cope?

(78 Posts)
whitelanner Thu 06-Jun-19 08:02:42

Hey,

I am only starting my pregnancy journey, but already looking into childcare options... and I am totally shocked. shock shock shock

In my area I would have to pay 800-900 pounds a month to pay for full time nursery. How the hell can people cope with that? That money could go towards savings or something. It is crazy.

Please tell me there are other ways! I just checked childminders in my area, but some are even more expensive than this, but most are the same. I don't have space for an au-pair...

Help! shock

Cheers

piscis Wed 11-Sep-19 16:49:39

@whitelanner I am with you on this. It is ridiculous.

It is incredible how a lot of people think these prices are reasonable, it is the way it is and if not, do not have children, but don't think there is an alternative.

Well, it is perfectly reasonable to suggest that maybe the system in the UK is not great, as in many other countries is nothing like this by any stretch of the imagination.

Many of the remarks on this thread could be applied to healhcare as well...but it won't be reasonable for most people because they think that healthcare should be free. Well...some other people also think that if not free, childcare should be, at least to have a lower cost and should be subsidize, as it is done in many countries. It is ridiculous that some women have to quit their jobs because going back to work is just not worthy. It is really bad for equality.

Also, it is not ok to tell someone to "go back" to their country because they don't like something very specific from the UK. I am also from abroad, but I love the UK, that's why I live here, it doesn't mean I think everything is perfect, can we have an opinion?

piscis Wed 11-Sep-19 17:23:16

On the question of how do we cope...my DP works full time over 4 days, so he stays one day a week with DD. I work part-time 3 days a week, so I am with DD another two days. We need childcare twice a week only, she goes to a childminder, which is (slightly) cheaper. We are lucky that we've got flexibility in our jobs.

We also joined the childcare voucher scheme months before we needed childcare ( when I was still on maternity leave), so by the time we needed to pay the childminder we already had some months worth of money in the pot.

Ideasears Fri 11-Oct-19 21:22:45

You have to rebalance everything. Go through finances with a fine tooth comb. After DC1, it made sense for me to work 3 days a week in my original job, DC2 came along and with before/afterschool clubs and nursery fees, I had to think creatively. I now work in a similar but less demanding job for 2 days a week and freelance for 1 day at the weekend when DH is at home to care for the DCs. When the youngest starts school, I'll reassess everything and re-juggle my hours again.

Don't be afraid to change your job to fit family life would be my advice. It's such a change when a child comes along that life can't really continue as normal anyway. Everything is flexible and change-able to adjust to the many weathers in life. Also, don't get too motivated by money, they are only little once, spending time with them is more important than big family holidays. My mental health suffered when I stayed in my original job even on 3 days, making the change to my current role was the best thing I could have done for myself and my family, but financially we've taken a big hit.

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