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2 weeks to find childcare replacement

(18 Posts)
Blu99 Sat 03-Jun-17 07:51:48

I work part time and rely on my sister and partner for childcare. My sister watches my daughter half a day on Friday. She got a new job yesterday and I don't know what I'm gonna do. I only felt comfortable returning to work after maternity because she was with family.

I have thought about what I would do in this scenario because I knew she was looking. I get on quite well with this woman at my DD's play group and I'm wondering if it would be wrong to ask her? I know she works part time and I thought I could offer to watch her daughter one day a week too or pay her. Our DD's are similar ages and get on really well. I think she's lovey and I know I could trust her 100% with my DD. Something I know wont be easy for me. We don't speak outside of the play group so we're not that friendly yet.

Would you approach her directly and ask or mention it in passing and see if she offers without me having to?

Or should I just focus on trying to find someone I like who is a registered childminder?

PotteringAlong Sat 03-Jun-17 07:55:19

You can ask, but she will have her own childcare arrangements in place for when she works already so don't be surprised if she says no. Paying her to look after your daughter when she already works makes for a complicated tax situation and she might just not want to.

I'd look for a childminder or a nursery.

Wh0Kn0wsWhereTheTimeGoes Sat 03-Jun-17 08:10:13

I'd look for a childminder or nursery too, informal arrangements with friends and family can fall through too easily, as you've found.

oleoleoleole Sat 03-Jun-17 08:12:28

Please find somebody registered.

fuzzyfozzy Sat 03-Jun-17 08:13:37

There are rules about paying unregistered people to look after children. Just check you won't fall foul of them.

trilbydoll Sat 03-Jun-17 08:15:41

I work part time so that I can have days out with dc, do boring things like dentist appointments etc. I'd genuinely rather go to work than look after someone else's dc, esp someone I don't really know (and you don't know this woman if you've never socialised outside playgroup)

Go and see some child minders, you might be pleasantly surprised smile

rollonthesummer Sat 03-Jun-17 08:17:41

We don't speak outside of the play group so we're not that friendly yet.

It doesn't sounds Ike you know her very well yet have decided that she would want to spend a regular chunk of her week looking after someone else's child!

Is her chosen job/career looking after children?

Obviously, you can ask.

I wouldn't though as it could affect your friendship and it sounds like you don't have that many friends nearby? Find a nursery or childminder-there are some great ones out there!

jannier Tue 06-Jun-17 12:52:48

Really you see her for a maximum 2 hours a week in a group where her child has activities laid on for her and mum is less stressed as she has adult to talk to yet you 100 % trust her why because she says the right things, her child is nice, she doesn't raise he voice or hit her public...(not saying she does at home but you wouldn't know) You could get to know a child-minder spend time in their home watch them with children who are not their own and see how happy and confident those children are before you even sign up...and know they are first aid trained have no convictions have child development training and are insured. Not to mention inspected. And generally the fee is not dissimilar to what many people happily pay the unregistered illegal carer. Which out of interest the latest child death in the papers this week claiming it was a child-minder was actually a so called Nanny unregistered and uninsured but the media doesn't know the difference even saying child-minder when its a nursery in some cases.

Lindy2 Tue 06-Jun-17 13:04:34

It's a bit surprising that you'd ask someone you don't really know to look after your child, particularly if you are anxious about who will look after her. Do you know where this lady lives, who she lives with etc?
You'd do much better to find a proper registered childminder. A childminder will be CRB checked (as will any other adults who live in their home), be insured, have first aid training and be Ofsted inspected. Go and see some childminders and I'm sure you'll feel reassured.

Blu99 Tue 06-Jun-17 13:40:21

Thanks for all your responses. I know it may seem odd to some but I've always been really intuitive and a good judge of character. I don't have enough time between now and when she'd need to start to let her adapt and settle in. Throwing her in at the deep end, isn't my style of parenting. I have a small circle of people who I'm close to and I don't really socialise outside of that. I think my dd would find it quite difficult. It took her months to feel comfortable at her playgroup. This woman has looked after children previously but I'm not sure if she's registered, DBS checked etc. My daughter is very comfortable around her so that's what's made me want to ask her.

jannier Wed 07-Jun-17 20:17:32

Anyone can say they have looked after children previously, ,have you asked why they are not now doing so, and can you be sure she's telling you the truth? , are they including babysitting at 13 have they been convicted of anything, do they have a partner who is a paedophile or addict. There are many parents who didn't believe their own family capable of anything who have been found wrong....use your intuition with someone who you actually know has been vetted. You do often get a settling in period to try things out so you can change your mind .

She wont be insured in her home or to drive her car let alone if your child gets injured even at a playground...and not only is she breaking the law and proving she is happy to do so, but you are also breaking the law.

rollonthesummer Wed 07-Jun-17 20:57:12

But if she already has a job, what makes you think she'd want to spend her free time looking after your child??

sakura06 Mon 19-Jun-17 10:53:50

You should look at a childminder as many people have recommended. They're usually a small, family home type setting. They will be properly qualified and registered, with first aid training, insurance, and the DBS checks required. Every adult who lives with them would also be DBS checked. Please don't ask someone you barely know to look after your daughter.

Blu99 Mon 19-Jun-17 16:32:44

The lady did offer herself when she asked me how work was going. I've got a new job so I'm looking at nurseries close-by. I've viewed a few already. Thanks for responses.

thethoughtfox Mon 19-Jun-17 19:35:25

With respect, your instincts aren't great. Have you consider her husband, out of control nephew, odd BIL who the rest of the family don't allow alone with their children, the tension in the house due to marital strife? You don't know this person and their life.

Blu99 Mon 19-Jun-17 20:30:35

With respect, I don't think you can determine whether my perspective and gut feelings 'aren't great'. I'm a little more retro in my beliefs. Plenty of people used neighbours, a friend of a friend or someone from work to look after their children years ago. Most of the time, they wouldn't have known them that well. Not saying that it was safe or safer but I don't think you can just simply trust somebody because they're registered either. There have been plenty of reports about registered and unregistered care providers mistreating children.

In the end, I didn't consider this woman, I found another job so I could resolve my own childcare problem with more flexibility. I won't just pick a nursery because of reviews, word of mouth etc, I will go with what's best for dd and base it on my gut instinct. You know when someone or somewhere is the right place for your child.

Doglikeafox Sat 24-Jun-17 20:29:46

Hi honey,
Just so you know it is actually illegal to look after children in your own home for more than 2 hours a week for a reward (money, or even in some cases childcare in return!) so your friend could risk getting in trouble. Also, there is a big difference between good with your own child and being capable of looking after somebody else's child on a weekly basis in YOUR child's own home.
I would definitely look at proper, Registered childcare with someone who is first aid trained, dbs checked, insured and will have policies and procedures in place. Oh... and someone who will be an expert in looking after children!

Josieannathe2nd Sat 24-Jun-17 20:45:07

You could always see if she wanted to be a Nanny for your daughter? I've employed friends as nannies very successfully. Tax is a bit of a faff but the relationships my children have made have been wonderful.

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