TMI but need to talk/reassurance/ide
Am due in April with DC4 - quite a while I know but time flies and I will be in labour before I know it!
Had DS1 & 2 in birth pool at hospital - loved it, no problems afterwards. Had major heamorrage (sp?) after DS2 but cause a mystery, anyway, that's not my concern.
Had to have DS3 on bed as there were not enough MWs on to let me use the pool for his birth. Instantly I felt terrified when they said I would have to deliver in normal delivery room without pool - I had obv. never experienced this before, was all new.
Anyway, had him, fine, I tore (a little) as I only pushed for 5 mins, I wanted him out and I wanted it over asap, I really felt out of control and 'exposed'.
Everything fine and dandy, went home, got breastfeeding started etc then 2 days later, was kneeling in bath washing me bits/stitches with shower head as you do when suddenly something happened to my bum and I couldn't move. Thought my innards were coming out.
Called for DH who managed to get me out of bath - couldn't move - copped a look in the mirror and I had a huge bunch of grapes protruding.
HaD NEVER had these before and was horrified, pain was excrutiating.
Anyway, couldn't walk, sit, lie - felt like they were bulging firther whatever I did.
Called Delivery, they got some cream sorted for DH to go pick up, off he went. Put cream on - no relief whatsoever.
This goes on another day until I am in tears with the pain - go to A&E. Explain I have deliverd, now have piles but think there is more wrong with me as I can barely move, so much pain etc.
Wait for 3 hours, stood up, which seemed to be the lesser of 2 evils, crying into DHs shoulder with everyone staring at me like I'm a loon, with my bum stuck out at a funny angle to try to relieve some pressure - God knows what they thought had happened to me.
Got in to see Doc, he has a look, arms me with lube and some gloves, tells me to go home and try to ram it back up there so it reabsorbs - tells me lots of different techniques for doing so.
Off I hobble.
Get home, attempt what he has said, grape is size of end section of your thumb, am horrified. As soon as I remove finger, it pops back out, so lay on tummy with finger up bum for a good 10 minutes to keep lump in and enjoy relief of it not being sticking out - didn't hurt when it was back in.
Gave up after 4/5 attempts.
Went to see my GP next day who has a look and says it is 'thrombosed' so no amount of ramming it back up will help, it can't be reabsorbed, have to wait till it disappears on it's own, if it does, if not will have to have it lanced! Start to panic.
After 3 more days of agony it starts to get smaller and eventually goes, by which time, breastfeeding was trashed as I couldn't sit etc long enough to get anything done, plus have nerve damage to boobs so was difficult anyway. Another long story.
Anyway - reason I am posting, I was playing with kids yesterday on floor, which involved me lying on my back with my knees pulled up to chest (we were hibernating!). Afterwards, my bum felt a bit uncomfortable, not painful though, like I had something stuck between cheeks, go to bathroom to investigate, have a little lump.... gave it a poke, it went, bum felt fine again.
Am now terrified of all this happening again this time I give birth. It totally ruined the precious first days with DS3, being in agony and housebound, barely able to move.
If lying on my back in ball shape causes them to pop out, I know pushing a baby out is going to cause me another huge one which will ruin everything again.
I tried to discuss with MW - I asked her if there was any way you could train yourself to only use your vaginal muscles while pushing? Her answer as a straight no.
I wonder if the fact I was on all fours to deliver DS3 had anything to do with it? 'Opening' my bum more than previous semi reclined in water positions did?
Any ideas or experience? I quite enjoy labour and delivery but am dreading it this time already. If I go in scared I know I will not cope.
Sorry for long post, have never got it all off my chest before and DS3 is 11 months.
poor you. Can you arrange a water birth this time? A home birth with pool? Or MW led unit?
Apparently, building of a MW led unit will begin in January, but MW was dubious as to wether it would be built in time for me.
House is teeny so home pool is out - it would fill floor space in lounge which is the only place I could have it, so wouldn't be able to have it up till it was probably a bit late.
I had piles before giving birth on dc2 I delivered her in 2mins whilst sat up leaning back with my legs flopped open like in an exam sorry if tmi.
It felt like I used more of my stomach muscles and supported my bum more my piles got no worse because of it and I didn't tear if you are unable to give birth in water again maybe try that position.
hmm, im guessing you just have a normal size bath?? Some people on here have given birth in the bath! I couldnt!
I had ds1 on a bed in hosp and hated every minute, was so out of control and scared. Had ds2 in MWL unit in a pool (1 year ago this month ) and it was the most amazing experience. Had no stitches, no piles, felt so in control. Completely understand where you are coming from. Is there anyone near you who would let you have a pool at their home? Maybe a silly idea.
Does the hospital have many pools?
Homebirth with a pool so you are certain to have the option of labouring and delivering in water if you want to?
My mum said I could home birth at hers if I wanted but I am not too keen to be honest. Not sure if I am 100% sure about not being in the hosp.
Hosp only has 1 pool.
Thanks for the idea Slushy about supporting bum. Surely if you already had them and that position didn't make them any worse that could work for me - I have never had them during pregnancy, or as I say, in my life, until following DS3s birth.
If I can convince myself that position will help/possibly prevent piles, I can go to hosp confident whatever happens - water or dry land. I have done both now so dry land wouldn't be a shock like it was last time, even though I prefer water.
I need to try my best to not go into labour afraid as I will fall apart. I have a strong needle phobia (I pass out during blood tests ) and I am afraid of losing it and being too scared to have any pain relief if that happens so need to be 100% positive.
I know exactly how you feel. Today A GRAPE has appeared and I cannot walk/sit/stand or breathe. If I need to do a poo I know I am going to die. GP had a look (nice) and said it was thrombosed. I am so afraid it is going to burst during delivery. I am 33 weeks. I need to get rid of it asap and would consider surgery. Would they do this at this stage?
I don't know if they would do anything as drastic as that. It should go away by the time you deliver.
Doc looked at mine and said was thrombosed and there was nowt he could do as I was Bfing, I would guess it would be the same for you as you are preg?
I felt better once he told me to just leave it alone, despite the fact it felt like every time I moved it poked out more - it didn't and that there was a 99% chance it would go away with no hint of it ever being there - which it did.
He said as it was quite a size it may leave a skin tag which might get sore which could be 'snipped off' under a local but it did go away without a trace.
Not what you wanted to hear, but that's what i was told.
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