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getting to the hospital if dp/h isnt around?

(15 Posts)
madremia09 Tue 13-Oct-09 17:10:03

me again! put a post on here earlier about the fact i will prob have to give birth alone as we have moved to a new area and have noone to ask for help to look after dd3.

Homebirth has been suggested but this really ddoesnt appeal to me plus the house we have moved into is only temporary until we find something better and is TINY!!!

My dp works as a field service engineer so in theory he could be a few hundred miles away when i go into labour.
what the hell can i do especially if dd is not at nursery?

do i ring an ambulance for myself and who would look after my dd until dp managed to get there?

do i have any option besides homebirth which i really really dont want


madremia09 Tue 13-Oct-09 17:41:29

would my dd be able to come in the ambulance with me and poss someone there to look after her until partner arrives?
are you allowed to ring an ambulance when youre in labour?
dd was born in 6 hours and ive been told for a first this is quick and to expect quicker this time...........

madremia09 Tue 13-Oct-09 19:24:10

can anyone help? i know i need to speak to the midwife but thats weeks away!
im getting really worked up about it sad

LilRedWG Tue 13-Oct-09 19:25:11

Not sure sorry, but phone the midwife for a chat tomorrow.

confuseddoiordonti Tue 13-Oct-09 19:25:37

Sorry, can offer no answers but am bumping this hoping that someone who can help will see!

Laugs Tue 13-Oct-09 20:03:54

Our hospital told us to get a taxi in labour, they don't normally send out ambulances (though I'm sure they would if you needed one).

Can DH try to arrange with colleagues that he will be working within a certain radius in the few weeks around your due date?

Do you have parents or PIL who could come to stay to help out?

Could you arrange for DD to stay on later at nursery/ go to nursery if it's not a day she goes, if you go into labour? There might be a possibility to pay one of the nursery nurses to mind her out of nursery hours if there is one you trust and who is willing.

cory Tue 13-Oct-09 20:50:34

we didn't have a car when I was expecting so I kept ringing for taxis (repeatedly as I had various scares). Taxi drivers were fine about it. Still use the same firm 13 years later, as I feel loyal to them.

LackingNicknameInspiration Tue 13-Oct-09 21:12:42

madremia, am in a similar situation - I moved to our current place a year ago and, whilst I do know people who can look after DD (am SAHM and she doesn't go to nursery), they are generally at work in the day so I don't really like to rely on them just in case. My DH doesn't work so far away, but a good hour and a half, so I had to think about the worst case scenario, mainly that he couldn't get back, and I was stuck with DD.

After discussing with my MW, I've now opted for a homebirth. It's not my preferred option but she seems to think this will be pretty quick (and I was 13 hours first time - not as fast as you) and it does at least mean that all I have to do is sort out DD rather than sorting out her and then getting to hospital. Homebirth not guaranteed tho, depends on availability of midwives - and I got told at last appointment that, if I need to go in and can't drive due to frequent contractions, then I call an ambulance - she was quite emphatic about that. And I'd have thought they'd suggest that to you, given how quick your first labour was. The other thing I've had to do is ask my mum to come down and stay around my due date (she lives 300 miles away) - is that an option for you? Again, not my ideal solution as, lovely as she is, I find it quite difficult having her stay, but, having thought about worst case scenario (DH stuck at work, unable to contact anyone to take DD), I've just had to be pragmatic and go for the only solution. Not least as DH has recently moved jobs so won't get paternity leave, probably just the day after off. Just hoping baby comes at night and mum and DD don't wake up - rather squeamish about having someone else in the house!

Hope that helps - my basic advice would be not to discount anything at this stage. And do talk to your midwife, they've probably encountered this before.

And good luck!

madremia09 Wed 14-Oct-09 09:58:53

thanks everyone

and lackingnameinspir....

it sounds as if we are in similar situations as my dp has recently started a new job too and is still currently employed by the agency,waiting to hear if the company are going to employ him with contract etc so hes not really in a position to ask for paternity leave sad

I dont have many friends atall here yet but one of the friends i do have has come forward to say not to worry she will come away from work or whatever is nec and take me and look after dd until partner gets there but i still feel like i cant take this as gospel as she is just about to start a new job so i dont know if she would be in a position to do it.

Im just going to have to talk to the midwife when i see her but my options seems to be if my dp is far away to ring my friend and if she cant come ring midwife and take it from there.I could ring ambulance but then that wouldnt work as noone to look after dd.

I currently dont have contact with my mum but even if i did she lives about an hour and a half away and our house is so small there is simply no room for anyone to stay

i can only hope and pray really that dp is around when it all happens or my friend can take me.the thought of having to have this baby in the house we currently live in is awful! you wouldnt even be able to swing a cat in the living room its that small plus id hate for my dd to have to watch me go through that i can imagine shed be terrified!

i hope all goes well for you, id try not to worry as it sounds like you have a fair few back up plans!
good luck to you too x

jeee Wed 14-Oct-09 10:03:30

It's clearly not the ideal solution, but however little you know your neighbours I am sure that they would be only too happy to help. We mortally offended one set of neighbours because we DIDN'T ask them for help in a similar situation. Most people would actively enjoy being on the fringes of the drama that is labour and childbirth.

hairtwiddler Wed 14-Oct-09 10:18:02

Poor you, it's a horrible 'not knowing' situation.
DD was born at 36 weeks very quickly (4 hours) so am also expecting quick and possibly early labour.
I look after DD full time most of the week apart from 2.5hours at nursery every afternoon. My parents live an hour and a half away, most of my friends have young kids or work and would probably not get here quickly enough.
My husband takes the bus to work, so would have to come home quickly in a taxi. Luckily he can probably make it in less than half an hour though.
I have planned a home birth because I'm so terrified about dd being left alone. I'm also terrified about giving birth without dh by my side though!
Agree you should have a good chat with your midwife and talk to nursery staff about whether anyone there would be willing to be 'on call' for you. Could you also hire a doula to go with you to hospital in a taxi?
Do you have any neighbours you have spoken with? Any with young kids who would understand the dilemma and could maybe come and sit with dd in the night until your friend got there?

browntrout Wed 14-Oct-09 10:20:21

added this thread to watch as I am in a similar position. Have toddler and am due to give birth in 3 weeks. Some time partner works away but has said will drop everything to get back at first sign of labour. I too have had the warning that I am likely to be quite quick this time around. I am in the lucky position of having family and friends in the area but still wonder about the practicalities if it happens in the middle of the night or if people are out when I need them (cant expect them to sit in waiting for me to call) then what do i do. I too wondered whether I would be able to take DD to hospital with me until partner arrived etc. Sorry I don't have more practical advice for you but good luck.

mo3g Wed 14-Oct-09 10:26:04

What a horrible situation to be in the only thing i could think of was maybe talking to a nanny agency see if they have anyone who would be interested in covering at your home while you are in hospital with dh. Or maybe even see if there are any childminders close by who would be interested in helping you out? if its during the day maybe ask your little girls Nursery if they could have her extra day/s at short notice or maybe even one of the nursery nurses at the nursery might be interested in helping out too. Hope you find a solution.

MrsJohnDeere Wed 14-Oct-09 10:38:03

Ask your mw. I was in a similar situation when ds2 was born - rural area, very few neighbours (who aren't really around in the day), dh works away a lot (and a min. 1.5 hours away if not working away).

Both the hospital and the mw told me to call an ambulance if I went into labour and said I could take ds1 with me until someone could come and collect him BUT I'm not sure that all areas are quite so accommodating.

Didn't actually have to use one in the end -went into hospital at 40+4 for observation (pre-eclampsia) and went into labour there. Very relieved really as the labour was so quick that an ambulance wouldn't have got to me in time.

LackingNicknameInspiration Thu 15-Oct-09 14:54:30

Hello again - yes, sounds a similar situation and can totally understand your qualms, as I've only just got over them to be honest - but having discussed it with MW last weekend, feeling much more positive. When are you actually due? It may well be that you have a bit of time to find someone between now and then - I've only really got to know my two close friends locally properly in the last few months, would have been a bit stuck this time last year. I think you're doing the right thing in thinking through all the possibilities tho, particularly the worst case scenario, as hopefully it won't then come to that but at least you have the peace of mind that you've faced up to it. Oh, and one other thing on the HB front is that even if you opt for it, you can change your mind - I am going to go for it, but had already decided to do so and then decide nearer the time (but that was before the two hospitals I could choose cancelled tours of the mat units due to swine flu so I now have no idea what either is like....).
Never simple, is it!
Good luck - and hope you've had some good suggestions to look into at least.

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