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Due tomorrow and can't stop crying

(17 Posts)
MamiBabi Sun 11-Oct-09 10:29:45

So I'm 40 weeks tomorrow and feel like my whole world is caving in and although I know that I'm probably tearful due to hormones I don't know how I'm going to get through today let alone another two weeks if I go overdue.

I have a 21 month old DS who is so busy, my husband had to take the week off last week to help me with him as SPD and general heavily pregnantness have made me be not very good at being his mummy of late (short tempered, needing to lie down alot and generally being too knackered to do anything other than turn the telly on for him to watch.)

DH goes back to work in the morning and I will be on my own. I have been having on off BH for almost three weeks now, they become stronger, closer together and then they stop, so we've had about 4 false alarms. I spent the whole of yesterday having BH every 10 mins from 7am until I went to bed, some really uncomfortable. I don't know how I'm going to cope with this when I'm looking after DS on my own and this happens.

When I last saw the MW (last Monday) she examined me and said I was between 2-3 cm (probably because I've had a previous baby), cervix very stretchy and waters bulging. I am so scared of waters going when I'm on my own (DH works an hour away) labour being fast and furious and not having any support, being able to get to the hospital etc etc.

Sorry for the long post, just needed to have a bit of a rant.

BrokenBananaTantrum Sun 11-Oct-09 10:36:58

MamiBabi please don't worry. You are brilliant and will be able to cope I have no doubt smile Have you got someone else who you can call on to give you some support during the day tomorrow?

MN is here also to hold your hand. I hope someone will be along soon who can offer some more practical advice to help out. In the mean time remember that you are a brilliant mum and don't beat yourself up.

Hassled Sun 11-Oct-09 10:38:51

Poor you - this waiting period is so bloody awful. And yes, you're teary because your hormones are all over the shop. Just keep remembering that the end is in sight, this will soon be over and you'll have your baby.

If your DS watches way too much TV for a few more days it's not going to do him any lasting damage - or get a pile of his books and lie on the sofa with him reading stories.

madmissy Sun 11-Oct-09 10:39:12

oh i am sure you are not alone in thinking this, i am worried of the very same although i am only 30 weeks
i have a 3 (soon to be 4) and a just turned 2 dd's and scared at the thought of labour let alone going into it when im on my own as last labour was 3 hrs start to finish

im also suffering with horrid spd its awful

tbh sounds that things will start very soon as 2-3cms is still tad more than the norm with subs pg's... iwas told always 1cm

sounds like you are in slow labour to me?

did you suffer spd with ds?

MamiBabi Sun 11-Oct-09 10:44:00

Thanks for all your positive vibes! It does get a bit overwhelming sometimes - and this waiting game is something I haven't had to experience before - my waters went at 39 weeks with DS. I think this is part of the problem, I sort of assumed things would be over and done with by now.

Looking back, I think I did have SPD with DS but it wasn't diagnosed, and tbh as I wasn't so engaged in running around after him, it didn't have so much of an effect on me.

furrymonster Sun 11-Oct-09 10:45:26

hi mamibabi, I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time at the moment. Please remember that it will get better. Very soon you will meet your beautiful baby and it will all seem worth it.

Is DH taking paternity leave? If so you will have time to rest and bond with your new baby.

Do you have any friends or family that you could ask to help you during the daytimes? Maybe you could get someone different each day to come over and watch DS whilst you rest, or help you do things round the house, that way you won't feel like you are putting on anyone (not that you would be!). Maybe people would have offered but don't realize how hard you are finding things right now.

Have you considered taking DS to a childminder or nursery for a while each day to give you a break? He may really enjoy it.

Hormones, pain, discomfort, fear and stress will all be adding up to make you feel pants but it will all be ok.

madmissy Sun 11-Oct-09 10:55:39

spd can be horrible it really can so and it can make me very grouchy blush

keep looking at the positives as it really sounds it will happen soon and instinct kicks in with ur second

i felt i coped 100% better with dd2 i knew what was happening wasn't that unknown feeling

MamiBabi Sun 11-Oct-09 10:57:00

Thanks furrymonster.

I've just spoken to my Dad and he's going to have DS for me tomorrow afternoon, which will make a huge difference. I'm not on my own, have lots of family and friend support to draw on and am hugely lucky for this.

I'm just at the end of my tether with all this waiting and discomfort and feeling a bit sorry for myself.

Thanks for all of your messages of support though - it has helped my get some perspective on things.

I had a horrible labour last time due to induction and have been getting so down that I was contemplating begging for another, however, I know that this is actually the last thing that I want, it's just that I'm finding things really difficult at the moment. The end is however in sight - I know this, it's just quite hard to realise when I've had another really restless night and still, no baby!

nellie12 Sun 11-Oct-09 11:07:06

oh I do feel for you. sad Apart from the spd you could be describing my last pregnancy. On the bright side when it actually came to labour I wasn't that bothered I was just grateful I wasn't going to be in any more pain.

Are you taking paracetamol for the pains? I got told that if I took it and it went then they were just bh, if they stayed then it was labour.(saved a few trips to the hospital for me)

Can't be long now till its all over. <positive vibes>

mosschops30 Sun 11-Oct-09 11:08:37

Mami re. your SPD, are you able to pay to see an osteopath? I struglled through last pg with it and had it again this time, and youre right it is misery, even sleeping is disturbed and lets be honest thats what we want most of right now in preparation for the next bit smile. Anyway someone on here recommended osteopathy, and here I am 5 weeks and 5 sessions later completely pain free and have now been signed off from oseto grin
I can now walk, swim, do pilates and have a decent night sleep, its great.

You do sound very down, just remember that your dh isnt that far away, youve done this before and you can and will do it again smile good luck with everything

BrokenBananaTantrum Sun 11-Oct-09 19:47:17

How are you doing Mami?

TeenyTinyToria Sun 11-Oct-09 21:35:49

Mami - I too had a horrible first labour after an induction, resulting in forceps and all kinds of problems after birth. I just had my second child, and had a 3 hour natural labour with no time for pain relief - but it was so much better than the first time! I was terrified and wanted an epidural, but it was over so quickly and was much easier to cope with.

I hope your second labour will be the same - try to think positively, although I know it's so hard when you only have a negative experience of labour to draw on. Good luck!smile

wrigglershouse Mon 12-Oct-09 00:01:14

Mami - overwhelming emotional feelings are often the first sign that things are happening as your not-that-far-different-from-cave-lady body says "gather all the people you will need in the cave for labour by making a big fuss, here we go". While that may translate as tonight or days away you might well look back on these feelings and realise that they were the beginng of it all. Good luck

MamiBabi Mon 12-Oct-09 05:21:29

I'm still here and still pregnant!

Feeling a lot more positive this morning though! Thought things were happening last night, painfull BH which must have tailed off at some point because I have managed to get some sleep.

Gutted that DH is having to go back to work this morning but think that I'll be ok today - my dad's coming over this afternoon to take DS out for a few hours.

Thanks all again for your kind words - they really have made me feel as if I'm not on my own and that everything that I'm experiencing is normal rather than feeling like an emotional wreck!

Thanks all!

mittyslave Mon 12-Oct-09 05:34:43

hey you are up early.
i hope you are feeling OK and if you need a mnetter to chat to, i'm here. it is 9.30pm where i am. goodluck!!

BrokenBananaTantrum Mon 12-Oct-09 06:49:16

Hi Mami. Glad you have managed some sleep and that you are feeling more positive this morning. smile

BrokenBananaTantrum Thu 15-Oct-09 18:19:20

bump

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