If you want a home birth, I'd stick to your guns, regardless of whether other people try and make you feel like it's an act of bravery / foolhardiness. I think a lot of that comes from ignorance: they assume that the only things a midwife will have on hand at the house are hot water and towels - when in fact they carry a lot of the drugs / equipment that would be necessary for the immediate resuscitation of the baby anyway, if that were required.
I'm going for a homebirth with what will be my first child - and I've had blank incomprehension from a number of people, coupled with a slightly patronising suggestion that I'll give it all up when I realise how painful it is (patronising because these particular people have no idea of my medical history - and which painful or excruiating conditions I may have suffered from in the past). I've had the stuff about my 'untried pelvis', shroud-waving about the length of time it could take to transfer, midwives whiffling on about how we can't decide until week 37 - and then only after talking to the consultant...
Personally, whatever you decide to do, I would say to remember that it's your body, it's your decision about where you choose to give birth and which interventions you choose to accept or decline. It's been suggested to me that I don't have the best interests of our child at heart - but for me, staying in control and doing it my way in the privacy of my home IS keeping the best interests of the peanut at heart.
I also don't have the choice of a birthing unit as technically I am 'high risk' due to raised antiphospholipid antibodies (shan't bore you with the details, but if you're interested, I've explained under my previous post 'Home Birth Pack). However, having seen my local birthing centre, it doesn't strike me as very relaxed or relaxing anyway - it just looks like a hospital ward that's had a couple of pools installed and some birthing balls scattered around. I find it difficult to believe that the ethos is very different to the main labour ward - particularly since they don't have a particularly high complement of midwives to women. I feel very strongly that to have a 'consultant-led' birth could lead to iatrogenic problems and make other interventions necessary.
In your trawling, have you come across the following sites:
homebirth.org.uk
Yahoo homebirth group
BirthchoiceUK.com useful for looking at statistics of various hospitals / birthing centres - and just how high their Caesarean rates are...
Association for Improvements in Midwifery
Out of curiosity, had your membranes been ruptured or had they ruptured themselves when you had your daughter? I only ask because I have read various articles about how intact membranes can ease the passage of the baby, particularly when it has its hands round its face - presumably because they 'smooth out' the lumps.