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Poll - If you had a crap first birth experience did it get any better with subsequent births?

(33 Posts)
hotmama1 Mon 06-Jun-05 20:52:44

Following on from the previous thread re instrumental deliveries for first time mums. If you had a crappy first time experience did it get better subsequently?

Just wondering as I am pregnant - so hopefully you will all say it's a doddle!

Magscat Mon 06-Jun-05 20:57:31

Yes because 1st birth was supposed to be natural, empowering experience - oh, how naive!! Ended up with emergency c-section after going overdue & inductions failing. All felt very out of control.

2nd time was elective section (on medical advice). Very calm, very controlled and good birth experience.

pinkmama Mon 06-Jun-05 20:57:51

YES!!! My first was a nightmare and very frightening, second was quick (4 hours), and although did end in a quick pull with a ventous it was a totally different experience, so much so we are going for a home birth with this 3rd.

truckerkaz Mon 06-Jun-05 21:02:10

most definately gets better! and quicker!

franke Mon 06-Jun-05 21:05:29

YES. First was failed induction (after waters broke and nothing happened for 3 days) followed by cs. Last year had a fantastic vbac -13 hour labour (which flew by), ds came out at 6am and we were all back home in time for lunch

kid Mon 06-Jun-05 21:05:40

my first was emergency section after 22 hour labour.
2nd was a planned section listening to the radio and at a sensible time of day (not 1am like the first one!)

expatinscotland Mon 06-Jun-05 21:11:41

Lord I hope so!

yoyo Mon 06-Jun-05 21:20:45

First was truly ghastly - 25 hours of misery culminating in a failed ventouse and eventual forceps. I thought I had died at one point as had sensation of floating above myself just hearing "push" over and over. I'm sure it was the sheer effort involved.. DD had the most elongated head you could possibly imagine - on transfer to maternity ward a midwife asked if I would like her to be covered so that people wouldn't comment. My first and very precious daughter!! I am still traumatised I think.

Second birth was the most fantastic experience. Wonderful midwife, calm, controlled and I can honestly say I enjoyed the whole thing. One of the highlights of my life so far.

Third birth was very fast but easy. Bigger hospital so the whole experience wasn't as personal but can't fault the birth itself.

I am not having anymore....but can't part with the baby clothes either!

Good luck with yours.

bigdonna Mon 06-Jun-05 21:34:36

yes i would say second time was much much easier no epidural,pethadine,epiesiotomy,forceps,ventous,etc.

geogteach Mon 06-Jun-05 21:47:24

OK hotmama you know I tell the truth so just so you have a balanced view, for me no. First long labour ending in ventouse, 2nd v long second stage, rushed to theatre where very skilled obstitrician turned DD using ventouse (having already got my permission for CS if he had failed), 3rd turned up fully dilated less skilled obs refused to try and turn and had CS and lost a load of blood, not what I would have chosen but must say this was all very calm and stress free.

hotmama1 Mon 06-Jun-05 21:50:19

Thanks geogteach - prefer your advice on buggies!

motherinferior Mon 06-Jun-05 22:08:18

I wrote an article on this a while back, and yes there are good physical reasons why second births are usually - not always - easier. CAT me if you want and I'll send you a copy.

Melpomene Mon 06-Jun-05 22:17:11

mine were quite similar:

first: first sign of labour was waters breaking with meconium, straight to hospital for continuous monitoring, contractions for 9 hours then had emergency cs because of failure to progress and fetal distress.

second: first sign of labour was contractions. Contractions seemed more painful than the first time, but that was partly because I was at home with no gas and air. Went to hospital after 7 hours of contractions. Had emergency cs 2 hours later because of meconium in waters, failure to progress and fetal distress.

Although they were objectively pretty similar, the second one felt better because I had a better idea of what to expect, and a sense of persepctive. First time round, I was literally shaking with fear before the cs and was so spaced out that when I first saw dd1 I thought she was someone else's baby. And I don't remember feeding her for the first time. Second time round, I was a bit nervous but enjoyed the delivery and seeing dd2 for the first time was magical.

Prepare for the worst but hope for the best, that's my motto.

Lonelymum Mon 06-Jun-05 22:22:58

Yes!

Ds1 was posterior and I had a farceps delivery.

Ds2 and dd were the right way round and came out relatively easily (dd was very easy - just three pushes!)

Then came ds3: same weight as ds1 and also posterior (though we didn't know until he was born). Was it easier? Yes! Much easier! No induced labour, no drugs, no forceps, no episiotomy. He took a bit longer than expected to emerge (we are talking minutes here not hours) but he popped out pretty easily too. The midwife explained that your body learns from previous labours and births and so you are less likely to get into difficulties.

Try not to worry hotmama. It should be easier next time round.

gingernut Mon 06-Jun-05 23:04:21

Sorry, mine were both horrendous! And the second was actually longer.

Both very long (50 hours for first, 3.5 days for second) although`established labour' was shorter second time. But with the first I had to have a ventouse and big episiotomy, second was normal delivery, did tear badly but nowhere near as many stitches as first time.

mummytummy Mon 06-Jun-05 23:08:26

Yup - first was an emergency c-section after 28 hours of labour, second time they realised my pelvis was too small, and I had a nice calm elective c-section!!! Seriously though, everyone I know had much better second time round births, wheter vaginally or c-section.

janeybops Mon 06-Jun-05 23:37:10

my second one was much better, but still hurt. probably because I knew what to expect or maybe because I was induced first time but not the second???

handlemecarefully Mon 06-Jun-05 23:47:59

2nd one was totally better.

1st was a 24-30 hour marathon (back to back) and hugely painful, gave birth in theatre as they thought they may have to proceed to c-section.

2nd labour, I wasn't even sure I was in labour until 1.5 hours before I delivered (I was getting what I consider to be mild twinges prior to then).

lunachic Mon 06-Jun-05 23:55:36

yes yes yes
ds took hours of pushing -dd only took about three(pushes not hours!)
plus i had the midwife from hell first time round and absolute angels the second time

Sax Mon 06-Jun-05 23:57:39

First ds1 (8Lb 7oz) induced - vvv painful, long labour. (2wks overdue)

Second ds2 (8Lb 120z) late but less painful and much quicker labour. (1wk overdue)

Third ds3 (11Lb 3oz) induced but once labour started had in 1 hour standing up - highly recommend - gravity and all!!(2 wks overdue)

i shan't be having any more but if I did it would probably come out as a toddler by the size of ds3.

zaphod Mon 06-Jun-05 23:59:09

yes, and each birth was better/easier than the one before it. My gynaecologist said that my body was getting better at giving birth, each time. A lot of it has to do with knowing what to expect, and therefore feeling more in control, I think.

CrazyDi Tue 07-Jun-05 00:35:12

sorry to put a downer on it but mine have got worse each time! And that applies to the pregnancy aswell as the birth!

DS1-induced 2 weeks overdue-24 hours labour with epidural so not too bad...

DD1-natural labour at 10 days over-24 hours no epidural- pure hell!!

DS2-induced 2 weeks overdue-12 hours painful labour followed by emergency c-section.

I always planned to have 4 in total, but due to my awful pregnancy and labour with my third...forget it

suedonim Tue 07-Jun-05 09:53:37

Pretty awful 20-something hrs first birth. Second 4hr labour was a breeze in comparison! Third and fourth were both harder than no2, strangely.

goldenoldie Tue 07-Jun-05 11:59:10

No, 1st - in labour over 24 hours, ending with emergenct c-section under general anaesthetic - could not get epidural in.

2nd - planned c-section, baby born dead, and nearly killed me too. Slient placental abruption................

Tortington Tue 07-Jun-05 18:55:24

errr no cos i had twins second time around so it was al as f9cked up at the first time round. i was hoping to have been assertive and confident and in control ( as far as you can) but i couldnt really do that with 11 or 12 people int he room and a nurse with a wig on and a doctor who looked like danny devito with wellies on ...it kind of turned into a monty python hysterical other world event.

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