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VBAC - how do you cope with the fear of labouring again?

(3 Posts)
Rubberplant Wed 16-Sep-09 16:05:53

My first labour was an induction, with the help of drugs I did get to the pushing stage but I also accepted an epidural. I had an emergency c-section because the baby was distressed. I've just learnt that his head was positioned badly so he was in effect stuck.

I spent so long trying to get pregnant again I hadn't really thought about giving birth. I am drawn towards trying for a vbac simply because I hope the recovery time would be better than having an elective c-section.

However, I realise that I am afraid of labouring again. I tried to explain this to the mw at my last meeting but the response seems to be along the lines of "just getting on with it". Everything always seems so simple in their world ? ie you keep moving in labour, you only accept gas and air and hey presto your baby is born.

The mw I had at the end of my last labour was awful and instead of asking for her to be changed I did nothing about it. I was unhooked from the monitor in order to be taken to surgery but hadn't realised what had happened and started to cry. The mw snapped at me "who are you crying for yourself or the baby". Just thinking about it made me cry this afternoon!

Has anyone out there overcome their fear to vbac. If so how, and how did it go?

My DS was just over 9lbs but so far I've been told this baby is average. One of my concerns has been trying to give birth to another large baby and the possibility of medical intervention such as forceps esp. as I would accept an epidural again.

Sparklytwinkletoes Wed 16-Sep-09 16:24:15

Hi Rubberplant, so sad for your first experience. I haven't VBAC'd yet (37 weeks and consultant appt tomorrow!) but that's the plan.

I assume that because you had an emcs last time, that you are under consultant led care this time around? If so, have you met with them yet? Its really important that you mention your concerns to them, as I really believe the key to getting through the fear of labouring is being well informed. You can discuss what is likely to happen, and in the event of various different outcomes, what will be done to 'manage' your experience and ensure you have a positive experience.

We've talked about the possible causes of the failure to progress, planned induction (without use of drugs), pain management and also, a biggy for me, who gets to carry out internals - as last time it felt like I was being abused every time and was literally climbing up the bed and begging DH to make them stop - this time, only senior (and therefore decision making capable) staff will be permitted to do internals, and they will be done to obtain specific information, not 'as a matter of course'.

Also, it would probably be useful to prime your birth partner that if you have any care providers be as rude to you as they were last time, that they need to act on your behalf - its all part and parcel of their 'role'. My DH wasn't very good at this side of things, so this time, he's going to have to endure the pleasure of the company of his MIL - as she's just as forthright capable of speaking out if I'm too drugged to do so!

I've also written a birth plan which caters for both a VBAC and EMCS, and read lots of positive birth stories of vaginal, VBAC, elective CS and even positive EM CS stories.

Hope that helps a bit, and that someone who's actually gotten over the next stage comes along soon - I'll take any tips going!

Caro1302 Thu 17-Sep-09 22:07:24

I had my VBAC 6 weeks ago and I was very scared of having a poor labour experience again- although mine certainly wasn't as bad as yours, that mw sounds like she's in the wrong job.

All I can say is that this time was completely different to the first time. My body did what it was supposed to and I could feel it working this time.

Have you done a birth plan? I found that the MWs were really good at sticking to mine which helped me a lot.

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