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Waters breaking, slow labour - Lulu / Mears

(51 Posts)
Babieseverywhere Fri 21-Aug-09 08:41:40

Not me, but my sister is in labour...yeah - on her due date

She started slowly at 4am this morning, midwife out to check her at 9am (first time planned home birth) and her waters broke whilst midwife was there.

She has been given until 5pm before she HAS to go to hospital, says the midwife.

My sister's labour stopped and after walking around a bit, started slowly again.

This is how my first nightmare labour started, when I was forced into hospital and had a waterfall interventions and a forcep delivery in a surgical room.

I want better for her. I have asked my mother to pass on the homebirth website details so they can look up PROM (and by association Strep B) and so they could take temps to check she hasn't got a fever etc.

I know the guidelines changed last year and they no longer ALLOW mothers to wait and see at home after waters have gone. Did the risk of doing so increase or is it a guidelines only change IYSWIM ?

I still have nightmares about my first birth and I want better for my sister.

Is there anything I can do ? I would hate her to suffer like I did

PS. I am sat here with everything crossed that she has her baby daughter naturally before 5pm of course

NotEvenTheTrees Fri 21-Aug-09 08:45:22

Oh gosh. No advice but lots of luck and love for your sister.

Same happened to me with a first time planned homebirth. PROM, slow start. Had a couple of great midwives who helped me stay at home but in the end had to transfer for a LOT of intervention and eventual emcs.

Still have nightmares too and can't have more because of PTSD.

bumpybecky Fri 21-Aug-09 08:50:15

My last two births started like this, with dd3 waters went at approx 4am she was delivered at 6.35pm, with ds waters went about 4.30pm he arrived 3.50am. Both were home water births too

They tried to tell me I'd have to go in at a certain timescale, but I refused as there was no sign of infection. dd3 is now 4 and ds 19m though so before these changes you mention.

I think the general advcie was to keep upright and moving, up and down the stairs if possible. Also eat and drink as she'll need to keep her energy up. Also nipple stimulation is supposed to help.

Hopefully things will happen today

Babieseverywhere Fri 21-Aug-09 08:52:35

{{{NotEvenTheTrees}}}
PTSD is not fun I had a second baby eventually. I cried a lot when I was pregnant second time around, found people to talk too both on here and in RL, dreaded the birth, had another bad one BUT the massive difference was I had more control over what happened, with my wonderful DH and doula (highly recommend one) I came out of the second labour a lot mentally healthier, with a beautiful baby boy

Babieseverywhere Fri 21-Aug-09 08:53:40

Thanks Becky

I wish I had known enough to refuse to go in first time around.

bumpybecky Fri 21-Aug-09 09:00:53

NotEvenTheTrees, I'm sorry to hear you had such a difficult time. Have you followed it up with the hosptial? I'm sure it's possible to go over your notes with a midwife as a sort of de-brief to explain what happened and why. Also there's the birth crisis network who might be able to offer support.

http://www.sheilakitzinger.com/BirthCrisis.htm

Babieseverywhere, I did transfer with my first and was very lucky to not have the interventions. My second was a wonderful birth at home (best of the four). I think I got stroppier with each pregnancy. I wasn't taking any rubbish by the time I got to #3 and 4 - I'm not an easy patient!

NotEvenTheTrees Fri 21-Aug-09 09:07:01

I'd fear for my sanity if I got pg again. I wanted lots of children but the idea of it happening again makes my blood run cold. I wake up panicking at 2am. sad

I have a copy of my notes. It hasn't helped. No idea why it happened (dd got stuck and 6hrs of pushing, ventouse and manual rotation wouldn't shift her). I don't know what happened and never will. I feel like an utter failure.

I've looked at birth trauma websites but all they do is confirm that birth is a horrific thing and there are a million other ways it can traumatise. Equally, see a normal, straightforward delivery and I sob with guilt and unhappiness because I couldn't manage it.

Anyway, I'm hijacking. It's done.

Any news on your sister?

Babieseverywhere Fri 21-Aug-09 09:21:29

{{{NotEvenTheTrees}}}
You are not alone, many women (including me) felt/feel like you do. Even now 3 years on I still have panic attacks, flashbacks and nightmares. If you read some of my threads on here I sound like I am insane blush with my worries about births (not that I managed one)

I would recommend ringing one of the helplines it does help to have somene valid your feelings, someone who does not blame you for your feelings or try to sweep your emotions under the carpet with a pap saying like ' All that matters is your baby is healthy' or some other tripe

NotEvenTheTrees Fri 21-Aug-09 09:37:24

Thank you Babieseverywhere. I've reached that stage where everybody who had babies at the same time as me is pregnant or already has another. Just this weekend my ILs were saying it was 'time' for another. I said through gritted teeth and teary eyes 'I just can't' and MIL started telling me about a friend of a friend whose baby was very poorly. It's nothing to do with the healthy child that I'm extremely grateful, happy and lucky to have. It's not something I can control. And now the comments about me not having more only compounds the feelings of failure. Of course I want more babies but it's not that straightforward.

Ringing a helpline would be interesting. Are they paid? You'd have to be to listen to me snivel and snort and sob. I can't talk about it.

I'm sorry for your experience too. And very pleased that you found it much better the second time round. The control issue is so important. That was the worst thing. I felt so ridiculously out of control and am still not in control of it now.

NotEvenTheTrees Fri 21-Aug-09 09:39:42

Oh your children are remarkably good looking Babies. I love the picture of them together!

Babieseverywhere Fri 21-Aug-09 09:51:59

The helpline I used was run by trained volunteers. They are use to people breaking down and being upset. I think it took me a couple of attempts to actually ring someone.
They are really lovely and understanding. The lady I spoke to came down to my house to chat to me and stayed for hours, she later was on call in case things didn't go well for my second birth (sadly he decided to come when she was on holiday)

But it really helped me. I had the unsympathic family (excluding DH he was great) and needed the extra support.

LuluMama on Mumsnet, is a doula in RL and I think she is a volunter on one of the birth trauma lines. Maybe she will post, I remember she was very comforting to me on my Mumsnet posts.

largeginandtonic Fri 21-Aug-09 09:54:33

Fingers crossed for your sister, last resorts include Caulophyllum (homeopathic remedy) It can have a quite a violent speedy effect.Can be difficult to get hold of too so may not be much use to her.

Just upright and moving like has been said already. Keep drinking and eating if she can. Lots of different positions to get the baby in a good position. Long labours can be babies wriggling in to a good place.

sad for the PTSD here.

Tree i will hold your hand you know that smile

Babieseverywhere Fri 21-Aug-09 09:57:20

Thanks for the compliments for my babies, I love them to pieces. grin

I need to update the photos they are on the old side. My DD has just turned 3 and DS 1 years old. shock

Here is my favourite pictures from a few months back
Here and Here

largeginandtonic Fri 21-Aug-09 09:59:39

They are beautiful!

Babieseverywhere Fri 21-Aug-09 10:06:32

Thanks G&T.

I don't think they would try homepathic stuff.

I am paceing up and down and hopeing the baby comes soon

Babieseverywhere Fri 21-Aug-09 10:09:37

I think they are beautiful too, but I might be slightly biased grin

TigerFeet Fri 21-Aug-09 10:19:05

Oh BE <boings with excitement>

Oooooh

Pinkjenny Fri 21-Aug-09 10:22:43

<holds hand out for Trees also> smile

NotEvenTheTrees Fri 21-Aug-09 11:01:26

Bugger off being nice to me you two. I'm hiding behind a namechange and you feckers still find me. wink grin I'm boring myself with it.

Lulu has always been very lovely to me about the birth but I suspect she also may be fed up with me moaning.

Babies, those photos. grin I've got lots of photos of dd crashed on the sofa before I've taken her up to bed with me. She's slowly moving away from cosleeping and I miss her curled up next to me like that.

It's a beautiful day to have a baby today. Your sister could have a lovely wander in the sun and a nice lunch and back home this afternoon for a shortish straightforward labour. Oh I do hope it's something like that for her.

LuluMaman Fri 21-Aug-09 11:08:52

i'm not fed up of you ,darling smile don't be silly..

nipple twiddling could help re the slowness

some labours do need a bit of a kick start.

she can decline the advice to go in, but if she has had a full rupture then 24 hours is the deadline according to NICE before induction BUT if nosigns of infection and baby is happy then she could ask for longer and more monitoring

Babieseverywhere Fri 21-Aug-09 11:10:34

I bore myself with my labour issues...feel like a stroppy teenager wink At least I can laugh at myself now.

Now that sounds lovely wander in the sunny garden, light lunch and having a new baby to snuggle in the afternoon. To bed in her own bed with her new daughter to love and nurse to sleep...lets project that to Yorkshire.

Babieseverywhere Fri 21-Aug-09 11:11:58

X-post with Lulu.

Thanks I'll text her DH with that information if she hasn't had the baby by late this afternoon.

Pinkjenny Fri 21-Aug-09 11:13:06

<cries at picture>

NotEvenTheTrees Fri 21-Aug-09 11:13:36

It will be that way. Are you listening Yorkshire?

Okay, so lulu recognises me too. As namechanges go, this was a crap one. How obvious am I on a scale of 1 to bloody hell it's her again? That's rhetoric btw. Am off to change my name to something very obscure.

NotEvenTheTrees Fri 21-Aug-09 11:14:46

PJ, you hormonal sap you. That'll be you soon you know.

Babies, tell her. One of each is fabby.

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