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URGENT help need please. SIL waiting for induction. Has lost the plot.

(37 Posts)
Spidermama Mon 10-Aug-09 12:37:52

Hi all,

Any help and advise gratefully received.

SIL booked for induction yesterday (14 days overdue). She has been waiting in a queue at St. Thomas' in London ever since. Nothing happening.

She has now lost the plot and in breaking down.

My brother, her husband, is back at home crying with his 3 year old.

I've called and left a message withg South London midwives who delivered all mine.

What can I do? What can they do?

JodieO Mon 10-Aug-09 12:40:33

Is she worried about the baby? Are movements all ok still? I'd ask for monitoring to be sure if there are any concerns.

FlamingoBingo Mon 10-Aug-09 12:41:56

Not much I think - complain afterwards.

You can reassure her that she's probably fine and doesn't need the induction. Can she ask them at least for a scan so she can be reassured that her placenta is working ok and she has enough fluid around the baby? Can she ask to be allowed to go home and called when there is space so she can be with her DH and 3yo while she waits?

Spidermama Mon 10-Aug-09 12:42:02

She's worried about everything.

I should mention her mum died in childbirth when she was ten. She's Brazilian. She just needs a midwife. The hospital say there are none available.

Perhaps I could get a doula to her? Or and indie midwife?

FlamingoBingo Mon 10-Aug-09 12:43:27

Yes, try getting a doula to her. She needs some support if she's that frightened. Can you go in and support her?

littleducks Mon 10-Aug-09 12:45:15

She has told the mws that her mum died in childbirth, and they are letting her sit there waiting?????

Spidermama Mon 10-Aug-09 12:46:08

I offered to go in. Perhaps I should just go. They're not coping.

JodieO Mon 10-Aug-09 12:46:08

I agree, get a doula if you're able to and could you visit her too? I'm not surprised she's so anxious, could you or dh explain the situation to the hospital? Might make a difference as her being so worried could slow anything down too possibly and it can't be doing her any good. Poor woman Could anyone look after their son so her husband can be there with her?

littleducks Mon 10-Aug-09 12:47:00

Any chance of getting a babysitter/relative to care for the 3 yr old so her dh can go into hosp, support her and point out this is probably traumatising her???

FlamingoBingo Mon 10-Aug-09 12:47:01

Yes, go if you are able to. Maybe they feel that they can't say yes because it's so much to ask of you, even if you offered. If she's on her own, she needs someone. sad

littleducks Mon 10-Aug-09 12:48:02

Drive to their house, say im here to play with my dn, go to the hosp, dont worry i wont ccrowd you, i dont need to visit the hosp im just here as childcare

Spidermama Mon 10-Aug-09 12:48:25

My mum's there to look after 3 year old. DB will go back to hospital to be with her soon but he's not much use to her at the moment as she has lost it so much and he's pretty broken down too.

It's horrible. 3 year old is also upset.

littleducks Mon 10-Aug-09 12:48:36

sorry your brother should go to the hosp you play with dn

Spidermama Mon 10-Aug-09 12:49:14

I think I will go.
Just trying to get a doula as I think she'd benefit from a doula too for SIL.

littleducks Mon 10-Aug-09 12:49:55

oh, ok then offer to go be a calm prescence in the hosp, dont leave her alone in this state

littleducks Mon 10-Aug-09 12:50:46

(you are a great SIL by the way, its quite a drive for you isnt it, good on you for caring)

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 10-Aug-09 12:51:46

Go. Even though I don't get on with my SIL, in that situation I would welcome her with open arms.

FlamingoBingo Mon 10-Aug-09 12:52:26

you're not as emtionally involved, not being her actual sister. Be strong - be her rock. She needs something (someone) stable she can emotionally cling to. Good luck. Please tell us how she gets on.

hoochymama Mon 10-Aug-09 12:54:31

Your poor poor SIL (and brother!), think it's definitely good idea to get doula, and go down there, sure your brother would appreciate some support too. HOpe that it all goes well for them and they have a midwife as lovely as mine one was.

Spidermama Mon 10-Aug-09 13:42:09

I'm going to go there now.

Thanks fore all your help and wish me luck. x

Buda Mon 10-Aug-09 13:44:21

Good luck - sounds horrendous. Poor SIL.

MmeLindt Mon 10-Aug-09 13:47:44

Good luck, I am sure she will find our presence calming.

I got goosebumps reading your posts, your poor SIL. How terrible that the hospital is not more supportive.

treedelivery Mon 10-Aug-09 13:51:39

Maybe she could go home after monitoring?

Or at least go out for dinner and a mooch around mothercare.

Awful! An indie might help,, but there might not be a physical room to put her in iyswim?

FlamingoBingo Mon 10-Aug-09 22:51:39

Was just wondering how things were going. Hope you're not online because your new nephew or niece has arrived!

Spidermama Mon 10-Aug-09 23:47:23

Sadly no sign of labour yet.

I've been with her all day. She calmed down a bit for a while but every time she thought about her situation she went into instant meltdown and had to be talked down again.

The hospital says they have a shortage of mws over the past 48 hours. They haven't even started to induce her yet and she's facing another night in hospital.

It's hard for my brother because his instinct is to take her home. The fact is she's so stressed in hospital she's awash with adrenalin and there's no way she'll go into labour in that state. BUT she doesn't want to leave the hospital.

At least he managed to convince her to go out for a little walk along the river this afternoon but they both came back looking even more stressed and panic ridden than they'd looked before.

DB is getting it in the ear from her. She wants him to demand stuff, which he tries to do, but midwives simply won't start the induction process unless there are enough staff to deal with the fall out.

Just as I finished writing that sentence he called to say they're just now being moved into the birthing centre to be induced. He sounds very relieved. I don't know what he can expect but I reckon another wait is probable.

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