Expecting dc2 12 years after dc1. What should I expect?

[Ninjacat]

12 years ago I had a horrific birth experience with dc1. Forcep delivery, long labour, baby 9lb 12oz.
Now I'm due no2 after such a long gap should I expect more of the same?
This baby is already measuring big for dates (currently 21 weeks)

[HecatesTwopenceworth]

first of all. Congratulations.

I think the best thing you can do is speak to your midwife and the consultant about your fears, about your last birth and to know exactly what is going to happen, or rather how they are planning to cover all eventualities.

What will the plan be if it is a big baby?
Will they scan to keep an eye on the size?
etc etc.

being aware of possible risks is important in minimising them.

[kitkatqueen]

Ninja, a LOT of things have changed since I had dd1 5 years ago let alone your experience 12 years ago. Go speak to your midwife explain about your previous experience and ask lots of questions about why the things that happened, happened last time. 1st labours are often very different from subsequent labours. My 3rd was the biggest that I had and yet in many ways the easiest birth. He was 9lb.

Look into information on optimal fetal positioning for labour, empower yourself with as much info as you can. No you are not necessarily looking at more of the same. You may be very pleasantly surprised this time round. Big does not always = bad. Ask questions and above all enjoy your pregnancy.

[Mamulik]

my DD1 is 12, and my DD is 9 months, so quite a gap. prepare yourself as if its your first baby, I have to learn everything from scratch. my DD2 was much bigger than DD1, so it was hard. I wish you good luck!

[Ninjacat]

Thank you all for your advise.
It's much appreciated and I am taking note.

N

[loganberry12]

If it makes you feel any bette ninjacat my baby is due in 7 weeks and there will be a 14 year gap since my last one so i know just how you feel, it feels like a first pregnancy to be honest

[Ninjacat]

Congratulations Logan and best of luck.
Would be really interested to know how it goes

[sleeplessinstretford]

hey, this is me (only clearly not)
first baby was born dec 94-weighed 9lb12,was posterior,forceps,ventouse-hideous delivery and i was having panic attacks re entering the hosp for a routine check up (fainted during the tour round the delivery suite,cried/had to lie down with my feet raised at every appointment)
had a fantastic midwife for antenatal who-having sorted me out (when i fainted listening to others birth stories took me under her wing-i literally got as far as 'so,my birthing pool arrived 3 weeks before my due date before keeling over'
anyway-i did NCT-antenatal breathing and delivered a 9lb8oz baby almost 13 years later with no pain relief,no stitches and no problems-it was amazing.
you can do it. honestly-if i can anyone can (suspect i may be rambling but you get my drift!)

[Ninjacat]

Sleepless that is very reassuring. Thank you.
How do you find having a teenager and a baby in the same house?

[sleeplessinstretford]

ha ha ha ha breathes
it's challenging...dd1 was devastated when i told her i was pregnant (i'd been on my own with her for years and my partner lived in london and she'd only met him a couple of times)
it's like having a first baby again,it's lovely that the big one can be involved a bit\feed themselves\make you a brew when needs be.
My daughters are besotted with eachother-you do need to make time for just you and the big one though as mine is dreadfully jealous of her sister even though she adores her.

[Ninjacat]

Ds was devastated when I told him too. He's coming to terms with it a bit more but he's not exactly excited.
Dp is working away quite a lot over the summer so I'm hoping a little time just the two of us will help.

[MrsDmamee]

my 2 DS'S were 9 1/2 years apart, and i agree to treat this new labour as it is your first, and as every labour is differant, dont expect it to be horrific. just calmly go into it as a new experience.
mt 1st labour in '96 with Ds 1 wasnt great, but i was young and didnt know what to expect,(or what was going on) 2nd labour in'06 was definitely different, but with age i was able to go with the flow and expect the unexpected.
And now im thinking of labour no.3 which i know will also be a new experince but im 33 now so im determind to take charge and know my own mind and listen to my own body!

[Ninjacat]

Thanks MrsD.
When's dc3 due?
You'll be a pro this time.

[MrsDmamee]

hi ninjacat

starting ttc for #3, but im relaxed about the whole thing, pregnancy/labour..which is surprising me. i feel because it will be my last baby i want to enjoy it and be as informed as possible when it comes to the whole medical side, and the least medical intervention the better!!

but you will be fine, just relax and let your body do what it needs to do it does know what to do even if its been a few years.
i hope all goes well for you and your little bundle

[twigsblankets]

I have 17 yrs between my 2 DC.

1st birth - long (36.5hrs) - induced - pethidine - G&A - extensive tearing inside and out - very frightening. Begged for epidural only to be refused point blank.

2nd birth - Terrified throughout my pg, even wished for CS.
Turned out fine though.
Was in labour for 48 minutes, no pain relief whatsoever, no tearing, no induction, quick, and in control.
That was after 17 years.
HTH

[Ninjacat]

Wow Twigs 17 years, that's quite a gap.
Glad to hear it was so much easier the second time. Makes me feel better to know.

MrsD fingers crossed for ttcing number three.

[blinder]

I'm pregnant at 35 weeks with a 12YO son. Thanks for posting this thread ninjacat! I'm finding it very reassuring myself!

I'll let you know how my experience went in a few weeks! With luck, I'll be able to say the same things as the other posters .

[Ninjacat]

blinder congratulations and best of lick.
Do come back and let me know how it goes.
How is your son with the pg? Mine is far from happy but seems to be accepting it.

[Ninjacat]

Sorry pg brain. Should say "best of luck"

[blinder]

yes, not sure about licks in my current condition but will take all the luck going!

Well my DS is quite excited, but he has been around some toddlers in the family lately that LOVE him, so he's got a bit of a rose tinted view of it atm. I am waiting to see how the reality is for him (crying at night, busy, knackered mum etc). I think it's important to spend at least some time every week alone with him as soon as that's practical.

I was 13 when my brother was born and was dreading it tbh, but I fell for him straight away and couldn't stop playing with him. Our sons will be fine! By the time the babies are 6 and beginning to get annoying, the boys will be moving out .

By the way, my first birth experience was pretty hellish too. This time round I am better informed, more assertive, in a much happier relationship and better able to cope. I think that will all help. I've been learning relaxation techniques from a hypnobirthing midwife too so we will see how different it can be this time round. I'm sure you've learnt loads in the past 12 years too. It's bound to count for something. We are bound to be stronger by now.

[Ninjacat]

blinder you must be due pretty soon. Just wanted to wish everything well for you and little one.
N