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So - come tell me what you did with your DC1 whilst home birthing your DC2 ?

(84 Posts)
puffylovett Wed 01-Jul-09 09:02:43

I sort of thought that DS1 (2.6) might be around and about, not entirely sure how it's going to pan out. I'm 29 weeks btw. I have this vision in my head of my homebirth being like that lovely spanish mattress add that's been posted on here a few times ! grin Except maybe in water..

However practically my whole family disagree and think he should be removed from the scene of the crime as it may be too traumatic for him.

What do you think ?

jenniferturkington Wed 01-Jul-09 09:12:54

DD born at night in our bedroom, ds (then 21 months) was asleep downstairs as he had been unsettled earlier that night and dh took him down stairs! My mum was on her way to be there when ds woke in the morning but baby arrived first and ds woke to find his new sister. We had planned for ds to be out of the house, Dh said he wanted to be able to concentrate fully on meeting the new baby/looking after me. i was worried about what to do with ds throughout the pregnancy and everyone kept saying 'it will all work out fine'- it did grin

sarah293 Wed 01-Jul-09 09:15:11

Message withdrawn

geekgirl Wed 01-Jul-09 09:15:24

my dd1 (then 18 months) watched The Jungle Book if that's any help grin

Seriously though - she did get a bit upset at seeing me in labour so dh took her to the other end of the house for a bit of TV. Unfortunately he missed dd2's birth as a result (was all v. quick - midwife hadn't even arrived yet so had to deliver dd2 myself). We didn't have anyone nearby to take dd1 so I'm not sure what we could have done differently. Anyway, she wasn't traumatised or anything.

jenniferturkington Wed 01-Jul-09 09:17:20

just to add, I wouldn't have minded ds being around for the birth, but I totally understood and respected why dh wanted him to be elsewhere. After all it would have been dh having to deal with him!

geekgirl Wed 01-Jul-09 09:18:22

oh and with ds (baby no.3, homebirth no.2) who was born in the afternoon, dd1 was over at a friend's house for tea anyway, and dd2 was at nursery. I don't think it would have been good to have them around - had a really difficult second stage.
Of course nursery rang 10 minutes after ds had popped out to ask us to pick dd2 up who was presenting with chickenpox! It's never easy....

chocolatebunnies Wed 01-Jul-09 09:21:25

I had a homebirth 4 weeks ago, I had planned on having my 2.8 DD there in the backgrond but the more I thought about it as it got closer to the birth, the more I worried what kind of effect it would have on her to see or hear her mum in pain like that, and as you cant plan how birth will plan out I didnt want her to be there if something went wrong or if I had to be transferred, also I wanted to be able to concentrate on the task in hand and I felt that if she was there it would slow me down as I'd be worrying about her, so she went to her grans.

As it turns out I had a very fast labour (50 mins) at home, with no pain relief as Midwife came with faulty gas & air hmm so I couldn't use it, so I was very loud with the pain (he was 9lb13.5oz!) so I'm glad I decided to let her go to her grans, they bought her home the next day once we were all settled and sorted.

Best of luck to you, homebirths are amazing!

chocolatebunnies Wed 01-Jul-09 09:21:25

I had a homebirth 4 weeks ago, I had planned on having my 2.8 DD there in the backgrond but the more I thought about it as it got closer to the birth, the more I worried what kind of effect it would have on her to see or hear her mum in pain like that, and as you cant plan how birth will plan out I didnt want her to be there if something went wrong or if I had to be transferred, also I wanted to be able to concentrate on the task in hand and I felt that if she was there it would slow me down as I'd be worrying about her, so she went to her grans.

As it turns out I had a very fast labour (50 mins) at home, with no pain relief as Midwife came with faulty gas & air hmm so I couldn't use it, so I was very loud with the pain (he was 9lb13.5oz!) so I'm glad I decided to let her go to her grans, they bought her home the next day once we were all settled and sorted.

Best of luck to you, homebirths are amazing!

chocolatebunnies Wed 01-Jul-09 09:36:47

ooo how did I manage to post twice! Sorry!

DaisyMaisyMoo Wed 01-Jul-09 09:53:39

Haven't done it yet, but am due on friday and planning a homebirth. DD is 3 and the plan at the moment is for my mum to come to the house to look after her while I am in labour, so if it's not too traumatic for her she can be around, but if it starts getting a bit much mum can take her out. However my in-laws are also on standby to have her at their house, so if I decide that I don't want her around once labour starts she can go there.

sparkle12mar08 Wed 01-Jul-09 12:19:31

I had a homebirth with our first so knew I wanted the same again, and I'd met one of my best friends here through antenatal classes for our firsts, and she offered to take ds1 when I went into labour with ds2 - dh's parents are a 2hr drive away and as my entire first labour was less than 6hrs, with less than 4hr after waters going, it was cutting it fine!

As it happened ds1 had gone to the childminder's in the morning as usual and I'd started to get some latent contractions so I knew it would be that day. I called my friend to put her on alert, and my waters subsequently went around 4pm. So friend picked up ds1 from the minder's at his normal time (5pm) and kept him overnight. Ds2 arrived v promptly 2hrs after waters, at 6pm.

I have to sy it was lovely not having to worry about having another child in the house, and being able to go to bed and have those first precious few hours together alone. I know dh was also v pleased we'd arranged it that way. Ds1 had a whale of a time having tea at his best friends house and staying overnight together - apparently it took them hours to stop giggling and throwing toys at each other! I would definitely recommend having some kind of arrangement in place - afterall, you only have to call if you feel things are not working out, if they are then you can just go with it.

madwomanintheattic Wed 01-Jul-09 12:26:43

my friend's dd1 rubbed her back lol (they had a birthing pool in the dining room) - but it was a big family affair with her parents drinking tea at the table whilst she was pushing... it was all v relaxed and the mw arrived 5 minutes before her ds was born. (the ils missed it by 10 minutes - they were gutted)

hope it all goes well!

madwomanintheattic Wed 01-Jul-09 12:28:05

shock riven - i knew you had a hb, i hadn't realised the other dcs were there too...

CatIsSleepy Wed 01-Jul-09 12:43:11

We'd arranged with some friends to have dd1 (nearly 3 at the time)if need be. We thought we'd get away with it if the birth happened overnight but full-on labour began around 5 am and after she'd got up twice and wandered downstairs to see what was going on dh took her over to our friends' place (at around 6). She had a fab day-went to a party, then spent the afternoon bouncing around on our friends' trampoline, so she had lots of fun. dd2 was born at 10am and we had a peaceful day cuddling and napping with her...it was a lovely lovely day...
i think i would have found it hard with dd1 around tbh-our house is small, and i did alot of shouting

Loopymumsy Wed 01-Jul-09 12:45:57

Message withdrawn

Reallytired Wed 01-Jul-09 12:52:28

My mother came over to look after my son. They stayed downstairs and played board games and I laboured upstairs. My orginal intention had been that my mother would take him out.

Kayzr Wed 01-Jul-09 12:55:01

My Dad had come up to visit to try and be here when DS2 arrived. So DS1 went out with grandad for the day. DS1 then stayed with my mum and stepdad overnight.

merryberry Wed 01-Jul-09 14:07:30

ds1 slept through the whole thing (2 storeys up from labour area). my mum was there to take lead with him if he woke.

puffylovett Wed 01-Jul-09 14:08:39

Some great stories here, thank you all ! Some funny and touching smile

(sad for Riven though - I know your story from lurking on the vacc threads.)

I think the message I'm getting is to try and cover all bases really, ie have my mum in place to look after him and to take him out if I start mooing like a cow / swearing a LOT like the last time blush, but also have her on standby to take him back to theirs if need be.

I sort of think that I'm likely to be more controlled if he's around, trying not to show pain as much - also my friend had a lovely homebirth, her DD same age had her own birthing ball and everything and was present, but it was a fast delivery.

I like the idea of having time with DP and the new baby, without DS being around - but then I also love the idea of DS being immediatly involved after the birth and greeting DC2. Confused !! smile

Belgianchocolates Wed 01-Jul-09 17:44:51

I had a h/b 7 weeks ago and dc1&2 (7&5) were in the room, but at the head end IYSWIM, so they didn't actually see any of the more messy stuff. My labour was fast and furious, 2h and like chocbunnies I had no g&a simply because the mw didn't really make it until about 10 min before she was born and by then I was already pushing. My lo was also on the large side: 9lbs 10oz.

With my 1st 2 labours I was really calm, in control and quiet. You know in my own little world, so I had imagined that if labour started at night they would sleep through it. As it was the speed of my labour took me by surprise and I screamed the house down, waking up ds, who in turn woke dd1 as he was very excited that the baby was coming.

Neither dcs were traumatised by the birth. But dd1 seems horrified about the thought that I got torn down there and needed stitches (which she's witnessed), so hopefully that's her contraception sorted grin

I prepared the dcs by reading them a wonderful book about a home birth that was recommended to me by some one on mn and it seems to have done the trick, because they both seemed to understand why I was making so much noise and weren't scared or worried. The book was Hello Baby by Jenni Overend.

PeachyTheRiverParrettHarlot Wed 01-Jul-09 17:51:42

I read somewhere that sunsequent children aremore likely to be born at night- my experience with the later 2 certainly (and quite possibly with ds2 except labour stopped every time I stepped into the hospital at 3am!)

With my HB the boys were in bed asleep, but I had fuzzy plans depending on what I felt like at the time: reither dh would ahve done a drop of (a round trip of @ 2 hours) and I had a Doula there, or they would remain in the house upstairs- we avquired DVDs ewtc and we would be guided by them as to attendance at the birth etc.

As it was hte birth was so rapid that there wouldn't even have been a chance to get their stuff together, they remained asleep and woke a few minutes after the birth when DS1 heard the baby crying..... ds1 and ds2 came down to meet him, ds3 came down but fella sleep on the sofa instead LOL

Mine were 8,7 and 4 but ds3 fundtions much younger so is like a 2 / 3 year old

thisisyesterday Wed 01-Jul-09 17:57:53

when i had ds2 my mum came and took ds1 o 0play at her house,

when i had ds3 i laboured in the night and the boys stayed asleep upstairs and met him in the morning.

i do know people who have had their children present during the birth though andh ave found it a very positive experience,

you justneed to make sure you have someonme there to take yur older child away if you or she decide it isn't working

BlueKangerooWonders Wed 01-Jul-09 18:35:55

dc 1 and 2 slept through it! Labour was 1am til 4am, in a birthpool downstairs. Neither dc nor neighbours (we live in terrace) heard a thing!

But my mum was on standby, but not needed.

GreenMonkies Wed 01-Jul-09 18:44:39

DD1 slept through DD2's arrival, but I would've been quite happy to have her with me if she'd been awake.

My friend had a HB a few weeks later, her DD was about 2 and watched her brother being born with intense fascination over the MW's shoulder. No trauma at all.

TheFool Wed 01-Jul-09 19:00:45

My mum had DD - I didn't want to have to think about her needs whilst trying to labour. She will be having both DD and DS this time

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