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Giving birth without partner or with partner and the kids persent?

(10 Posts)
apotomak Sun 21-Jun-09 03:07:26

I'm now 30 weeks pregnant and trying to plan the birth at hospital. I already have 2 kids ... a 5 year old and a 16 month old. We will have a bit of a problem with childcare once I go into labour. My 16 month old will just not stay with anybody ... she's a really strange toddler who doesn't like strangers at all ... and the sight of my mother in law makes her go in tears within seconds. It would break my heart to leave her with anybody knowing she'll be scared and cry for hours.
I have two choices ... either take both of my children with me and my husband to hospital or go on my own and leave them at home. I am scared of both options ... being on my own in delivery room (I have nobody else I could take instead) and having my husband with children with me. Anybody had a similar choice to make and could share their thoughts with me? I'd be really grateful ...

GYo Sun 21-Jun-09 03:27:52

How about a home birth? Taking 2 kids to the hospital isnt a viable option. Reckon your 16mth old will be more distressed seeing you in labour!

Maybe someone trusted could be there with you to oversee the two older DCs without them really realising IYSWIM.

Labour might be quick anyway as your third.

I had HB for my first DC in March, it was a great experience!

Or you could spend some time getting DC2 used to the idea of going to someone else, a trusted friend? you have 4months to do it. You will be probably welcome the break/ need back up one the newborn is here anyway, why not break her in gently
Good luck

GYo Sun 21-Jun-09 03:34:19

sorry misread, thought you said you were 20 wks. Still 10 wks is long enough too

apotomak Sun 21-Jun-09 03:35:15

Homebirth is not an option my both labours had to be induced at hospital and needed extra drips to get things moving quicker That would have been ideal though.

I am trying to get get my younger daughter used to people but she's not making any progress ... she's fine with kids around but adults don't go well with her even though she'd seen them many times before. Just one of those things ... I hope somethig clicks in her eventually because this is ridiculos...

GYo Sun 21-Jun-09 03:43:35

I hope you find a solution and she improves with age.

Good luck.

mumtoloads Sun 21-Jun-09 16:29:52

Have you thought about a Doula to support you through your labour? Take a look on

cheesemonster Sun 21-Jun-09 17:55:13

We have similar situation & I felt I would be happier knowing that my children where being looked after by my husband- especially as my 2 don't like being left with anyone at all. Have hired a doula & feeling very happy with my choice. My last DD was a transfer homebirth & the hospital where great when we took in our DS with us, as of course we had no childcare!

FabBakerGirlIsBack Sun 21-Jun-09 17:57:04

I don't think your toddler is strange. She sounds like a lot of 16 month olds.

Why not start on her confidence and try and get her to be happier in other peoples company.

Children at the hospital when you are in labour are a no no in my book.

Oumasrusks Sun 21-Jun-09 20:24:23

I was also going to say that I don't think your toddler is strange either!

I took my (almost) 13 month old to hospital with me when I gave birth to DD2 as we didn't have any babysitters and she was fine. Does your hospital allow children though? I've heard of one that doesn't allow them in the delivery suite.

ChocFudgeCake Tue 23-Jun-09 13:47:50

You might think it silly, but here is my suggestion: What about having a very responsible teenager to look after them? My two DS were a nightmare if I tried to leave them with other adults and I was always anxious about it. BUT they now think that teenagers are "big children" and are very happy to play with them. Obviously you really need to trust the teenager in question. I'm currently planning who I'll recruit to help us with the childcare. I have included the teenage children of some friends, I'll arrange that some adult friends come to bring food too, so they can check that everything is ok. They have recently been coming to spend some hours with DSs and we have been in outings with all members of both families... Fingers crossed! All the best for you.

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