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Scared about safe delivery - please help

(3 Posts)
Enwdau Sun 01-May-05 19:45:37

I know this is self-indulgent and I should be having positive thoughts but I am very scared for the safe delivery of my first baby. I am 36 weeks. Although the pregnancy has been 'textbook' according to the midwife and obstetrician - development, sizes, scans everything normal I have been through a lot of stress with various things during the last 9 months.

I was told at 14 weeks that I am HepB positive and the baby needs injections soon after birth to stand a chance of having a healthy life. This was a complete shock as DP is -ve and I have never been involved in anything 'risky'. I also have a medical history which means I may not feel labour normally and am not able to have any spinal medication so any C-section would have to be under general anaesthetic.

I have experienced a lot of professional incompetence in the past in hospital (E.G being left to feed myself whist paralysed from neck down, being phoned at 10.30pm with HepB +ve test results and being told misleading info about the HepB e.g that it causes prematurity and growth problems in babies. I have even had to have repeat blood tests for no other reason that someone not writing my DOB on the sample.)

As a result I have a deep mistrust of the ability for the 'system' to function correctly and of many professionals to do their jobs properly and communicate effectively. I am terrified of all the things they might do wrong, or not do, particularly making sure that the baby gets the injections urgently.

I am now getting so scared about the birth of my baby, especially after reading some of the awful stories on MN recently regarding healthy babies being stillborn due to incompetence. I know these things are rare but as stupid as it is to admit it I feel as if with my history if something is going to go wrong it will happen to me. I am really scared about not being in control of the situation and having to fight for medical staff to DO something.

I know this all seems irrational. I just want to protect my baby from suffering the things I have experienced and from the tragic things that I have read about on here. I don't think I could cope. Sorry for the self-idulgence. Thanks.

starlover Sun 01-May-05 21:53:53

sorry to hear you've had such a stressful time so far!
BUT, I am sure things will go fine.
Yes, there has been a heartbreaking experience by a mumsnetter with her stillborn baby recently... but I am sure that she herself will tell you that these occurences are NOT the norm.
Do you have a birth partner? (your dh/dp/friend etc) who will be with you during labour?
If so then make sure that they will be able to speak out for you if you feel that things are not going the way you want them to. I was scared that I wouldn't be in control during labour, but as it happened it all went smoothly, and none of the specific things I had been concerned about actually happened.

It's very easy to be scared of things going wrong, but these people deliver babies day in, day out... you HAVE to put your trust in them because otherwise you'll worry yourself silly, and things can turn out even worse! yes, things can and do go wrong... but that doesn't mean that they will go wrong for you.

It's natural to want to protect yourself, and your baby from anything bad happening, and especially with all your pregnancy hormones floating around... you're likely to feel these things much more, especially when reading about bad things that can happen.

I think the best thing is to make sure that you are aware of all possibilities, and the effect that your medical conditions may have during the birth. That way if anything untoward were to happen you would be prepared. Also make sure your birth partner knows, so that if you did feel that medical staff weren't listening to you you would have someone to fight your corner!

I am sure your birth will be absolutely fine, and look forward to seeing the announcement on here soon!

jamiesam Sun 01-May-05 22:20:59

Hi Enwdau.
I know it's silly to say don't worry you'll be fine. But the odds are massively stacked in favour that you will be.
I had a great cs after a textbook normal pg and pretty easy partial first stage (ie to around 4/6cm). For me (after both cs and subsequent vbac), I'd say the most important thing is to ask questions if you're not sure of what's going on or why a particular decision is being made. Don't be afraid of looking silly (I know, but I did/was ). This is where your birth partner can help if you have one - making sure that you do understand and agree with what's going on. Without becoming an 'awkward sod', if you are uncomfortable with the way things are going, you could ask what the 'protocol' is. (As an eg, with ds1, when he became distressed, I had 3 attempts at the procedure to get some blood from his scalp to establish what oxygen levels were. What at the time seemed a bloody hopeless dr just couldn't get it right, and then when it seemed he had the 3rd time, the machine wasn't working. So then, the decision was made to go for cs given evidence of distress from monitor. Subsequently advised that the hospital protocol was for 3 attempts and then cs (ie don't keep on and on trying) So while I wondered afterwards if we should have asked for a senior dr to take over, the hosp procedure would have been for what happened to have happened - iyswim...

And do be prepared for what will happen if you have cs under gs - how quickly can you skin-to-skin and bf etc, might really help you and your baby cope afterwards if these things are clear from the beginning.

Wish you all the luck and have a lovely baby

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