Mental imagery to achieve relaxed state

[MoshiMoshi]

I have been listening to a Natal Hypnotherapy CD by Maggie Howell (although think she would be appalled to know I am invariably doing something else at the same time, although in my defence we are trying to get everything done to get the builders in to start renovations before the baby comes!)

I always flounder at the point where I am meant to be imagining a relaxing scene where the pain feeling of pressure accompanying each contraction washes over me. She mentions a beach with the waves crashing over the shore but I find this really cheesey and am always thinking this at that point. I wondered if anybody had some good suggestions for mental imagery for getting into a relaxed state, especially any images that worked for them using natal hypnotherapy/hypnobirthing? Open to anything at this stage - I am now 36.5 weeks.

Thanks for any responses!

[JustKeepSwimmingInChocolate]

Try and think of a specific place you have actually been to where you felt relaxed.

For me there is a lovely long, empty beach in Mozambique DH & I went to on our honeymoon, so that image works for me.
if you've only ever been to bustling crowded family beaches it's hardly going to work i shouldn't think!

Where have you been that might work?

Or, and this IS cheesy, i have used the mountains at the end of Sound of Music to help me through the 'rise, peak & end' of a contraction.

With DS1 they asked me to stop pushing to let a lip move out of the way and all i could say was 'i've lost my mountain' - they had NO clue what i was talking about

[berniebump3]

a really good midwife told me to imagine a waterfall crashing down with each contraction washing the baby out.... and i found this helped a lot... imagining the water bringing the baby ... but the most useful tip she gave was that no contraction lasts more than a minute so to get my partner to have a clock I can see with second hands and to tell me when I'm 30 seconds through a contraction that 'your half way through and it will get easier now'apparerntly the worst bit is half way through then it tails off... and god was this the best advice ever... I lived each contraction just to hear him say I was half way through!! I 'm due now ... been having contractions this evening so may be a baby here when I post next!! got my clock ready... but ditched the lavendar oil my sister given me to relax me!!! she hasn't had kids yet! wan'ted to really laugh when she gae it me but didn't want to seem ungrateful or scarre her with the' this really will not be enough!!' comments! good luck x Bernie

[damdaffs]

hmm, i've been trying that CD too - someone lent me one but i find the beach thing cheesy and also those panpipes in the background crack me up every single time! so i've given up on it, but i really liked the idea of it.

anyway dont know if it will help you but i decided to get some 'nature sounds' CDs (ocean waves/whistling wind,rainfall etc) off ebay and do my own visualisations of waves (helps with breathing), leaf on the wind, watching raindrops in a puddle, just things i find relaxing and focussing. you can get birdsong, babbling brooks, allsorts!

anyway im only 29 weeks so we'll see if it helps but good luck with yours

[MoshiMoshi]

Thanks for all of your responses. Starlight - I think you have hit the nail on the head! I had better try to do this relaxation thing properly and then I suspect it will all come naturally as you suggest!

[Concordia]

hmm well i like holidays so i came up with a few places to go.
I haven't used the CD so don't know if this would work but basically i tried to use other senses than just visual imagery -
so i was in my hammock on zanzibar. i could feel it supporting my body. i could see the sea shimmering and feel the warm sun on my arms.
i was standing on a rock in canada, feeling the cool crisp air. looking at the mountains at moraine lake.
they both sound corny but did actually happen
i kind of went back there and it did work (but not for every contraction, got a bit boring so had to substitute other techniques too)
i think real experience is better than made up.

[Reallytired]

It takes practice. You need to listen to the CD everyday and drop everything for about 20 minutes. In late pregnancy the rest will do you good.

It is possible to write your script, although ideally you would need to go on a natal hypnotherphy/ hypnobirthing course learn how to do this effectively. If you write your own affirmations it can be very powerful, but you need to write the affirmations in positive language.

Listen to the CD in a fully concious state and make a note of what is useful to you.

Or prehaps you could get the hypnobirthing CD of Ebay and see if its less irritating.

[Reallytired]

My seven year old son has been writing his alternative script.

"You are on your private beach. You can smell the seaweed and hear the seagulls. 3,2,1 relax followed by your name as bird poo lands on your head."

[MoshiMoshi]

Reallytired - I like it, although am not sure whether laughing is conducive to minimising prodution of adrenalin and increasing production of serotonin and oxytocin ?

[JustKeepSwimmingInChocolate]

well it might be...

to add to it though, i read that if you can smile/loosen your jaw that it is somehow linked to relaxing all your muscles, including cervix/vaginal walls, etc. so can help with dilation/labour...maybe.

[Gemzooks]

have you skied before? I just gave birth 11 days ago for the second time, and found the image of skiing over a ridge, and having to go downhill really fast and not be scared but just deal with it, was quite useful for the contractions. I also found making a low moaning sound on the outbreath really helped as others have said, jaw and cervix relaxation are linked. I don't think you can plan that much, I thought I would want music, in the event couldn't stand it. I just found choosing somewhere to have each contraction helped. e/g one sitting on the ball, one against the bookcase, one squatting, was good. also the idea of a wave coming and lifting me up, thinking ok it's coming, it won't be nice but just dive into it.. don't worry and best of luck!

[MoshiMoshi]

Thanks for the ongoing tips! The skiing image sounds a good one as I LOVE skiing and am keen to get back into it as I haven't been since I had my first DC 6 years ago. I was saying to my DH that as this is our last child, I really would like to savour the birth experience as much as I can, and knowing that it can be a more empowering experience, I really hope to have something more enjoyable than the Schumacher labours I have experienced so far where I am just taken along for the rollercoaster ride! He is going to do a playlist for the iPod to help with the mood. So far, we have just about made it to the hospital with each of ours and pushed a baby out at the last minute so haven't really had the chance to establish a relaxed environment, but I wonder whether if we get there a bit early to relax into the labour it might help?

PS Gemzooks - congratulations on number 2!

[JustKeepSwimmingInChocolate]

Home Birth?

[MoshiMoshi]

JKSIC - I wish. MY OH not keen so we always do this ridiculous thing where I spend most of the time relaxing at home, which is really nice, and then at the last minute we dash to the hospital (bright lights, car whizzing through London to the hospital, DH driving like a F1 racing car driver etc) for me to squeeze baby out. The irony is it would actually be safer (which is his concern - the risks) to have a home birth with a midwife present who can monitor us and let us know in advance if we need to get to a hospital!

[Gemzooks]

thanks for congrats! In fact I had home water birth with number 2 and it was so much better, there are a lot of threads on here where people convinced their DHs to go ahead. I live in Holland and homebirth is the norm here, and people just go along with it... I also hired a doula to help me through and that REALLY helped..

[JustKeepSwimmingInChocolate]

Well you've not got long but i would work on convincing him!!
Or just stay at home until it's too late for you to feel like moving and get him to call the hosp to send one out?

i couldn't bear to be rushed about during labour tbh. so you could just arrange it with your MWs regardless, get the right phone number and tell him to ring that one at a certain point and they will miraculously arrive ready for a HB

(My DH was totally anti-hb before we had out hosp tour, then i talked him round)

[childrenchildreneverywhere]

Some people are just not visual, it sounds as if you aren't and actually if I were to get all NLP on you (I'm a hypnotherapist/HypnoBirthing teacher) I would say you were far more susceptable to sounds and feelings (from the words you have used in your posts so far).

So perhaps instead find some relaxing (alpha)music (forget guided relaxations and especially visual ones) and condition some relaxation with that and really feel yourself relaxing, whether you feel a spreading warmness, sensation of heaviness and looseness etc..just really imagine letting your muscles go, sag your shoulders, practice some deep breathing and use that alongside the relaxing music.

This is one reason why if you possibly can, it would be best to visit a practitioner/therapist as they can word out a method that is best for you, rather than you trying to mould to an existing style that perhaps doesn't "do it" for you in terms of relaxation.

[MoshiMoshi]

cce - I think you are right! I am a very physical sort of person (big adrenaline junkie and real do-er type of person who cannot sit still for a minute). I used to really enjoy the relaxation techniques my drama teacher took us through when I was at junior school and realised later on in life that this is very much to do with yoga-based relaxation techniques. I do know of a local therapist who may be able to do a one-off session to work out a suitable method so perhaps I will give her a call. Thanks for your response - it is funny how much you can get from complete strangers who have never met you from this forum!

[hedgiemum]

Moshimoshi - I agree with cce (though I totally lack the experience and training she has!) In my own 2nd and 3rd labours I've done what I now keep read about as hypnobirthing, though I never did a course or listened to a cd or anything. Just had brilliant birthing partner (my mum, who had 5 of us naturally and fairly pain free) who did what cce suggests and got me to really, really relax, go all floppy and loosen every muscle for each ctx. This helped me so much. I am also not a visual person (eg when I read a novel, I never picture in my ind what the different characters look like, and get a bit bored if the description of scenery goes on to long...) and I never pictured anything, just "Went into myself" in my mind. (can't find better ways to describe it than that, sorry!)

And I'm all for the smiling too - g&a makes me giggly, and my dh and mum and the midwife each time also all got the giggles in the early stages, which got me through the boring bit at the start. My mum had a plan of encouraging the giggling, as she thought it would make it much easier to relax later on...

[hedgiemum]

LOL!

Well what can I say but - do as it says on the tin and laugh!

[MoshiMoshi]

Will try to laugh as much as possible then! Thanks for your messages. It has been very useful but I will have to see whether it all works or not when the time arrives...