vbac, can anyone help? posistive encouragement needed please!

[chibi]

I had a em cs with my dd. I am 6 months pregnant now, and have a meeting with a consultant about her birth + my plans (or lack of plans!) for the next birth coming up in 2 weeks.

I want to try a VBAC and I know in my head that it generally has better outcomes for mother and baby, that recovery is better etc. My problem is I can't shake the feeling that I won't be able to do it, that I should 'leave it to the professionals'.

I should say that I had a crappy labour with the brth of dd, I felt really caught out by it all and overwhelmed. Nothing spectacularly awful happened, but I was left feeling disempowered and with the impression (reinforced by some of the HCPs ) that I was rubbish at giving birth.

I can't help but feel that this negativity is going to be self-fulfilling prophecy when it comes to the birth.

I guess what I'm asking is if anyone can point me to any resources/things I can do to get my confidence up? I so want to do the best thing.

i am probably being premature with all of this anyway, I have no idea if I will be allowed a VBAC yet.

[Nabster]

My neighbour had a section as she kept going backwards with the dilating. Next time around they said she would have to have a section as her pelvis was too small. She had a VBAC and said it was great.

I had an emergency section first time around and then 2VBACS.

I think you need to discuss it with your midwife and ignore those who said you were rubbish.

[scrappydappydoo]

I had a VBAC after a crash c-section with dd1 - it was fine. Two bits of advice I was given that really helped were :

1. make sure you have dealt with the issues surrounding your first birth experience - I didn't realise I had any until I sobbed my way through an appointment with mw. I got in touch with the hospital and they had a 'counsellor' midwife who went through my old notes and explained what happened and why and gave me tips as to how I can avoid the same experience by being prepared.
2. Be prepared - I was advised to make 2 birth plans - one for a vbac and one for a c-section - that way no matter what the outcome I felt I had some control over what happened.

In the end it all went out the window cos dd2 arrived in 4 hours and it was all so quick I hardly had time to think but all the pre-preparation was worth it..
HTH

[violethill]

Not really any specific advice , only yes, there is no reason why you shouldn't be able to do it. I had a VBAC, only 14 months after a Csection too! Ignore anyone who has given unhelpful advice and made you feel disempowered.

[chibi]

thanks all. can anyone who had a successful VBAC recommend anything, books or whatever that helped them prepare?

I notice I have misspelled posistive in the thread title

[chibi]

cripes I did it again

[BirdyArms]

I had a good VBAC with ds2. I had a doula (the lovely marslady) and I think that was a huge help. I wanted a doula because I was worried about being pressured by the hospital staff eg didn't want continuous monitoring, and wanted to have someone at the birth who was knowledgeable and on my side. I think that the real benefit of having a doula was that it gave me much more confidence - I honestly think that the most important thing is to believe that you can have a VBAC.

I also did a lot of reading, every book that my library had, lots of stuff on the internet (mostly from old mumsnet threads) and a book by Ina May Gaskin (sp?) also recommended on here - a bit on the beardy weirdy side but very interesting. I would advise you to look through some old mumsnet threads as a start.

[Lulumama]

get a doula

read ina may and sheila kitzinger

there is a thread on here called 'support for imminent vbacers' - thre are some good links to NICE guidelines and research too.
being educated and empowered and making sure your brith partners are too is a big step

trying everything you can and really going for it can make such a difference to how you feel, whether you have a VBAC or another section

no-one except you makes the ultimate decision about VBAC, the hospital cannot forbid you, unless of course there are concrete medical reasons , but you can make informed choices all teh way along. AIMS is a great site for helping you if you are told you ' are not allowed'

[Chellesgirl]

chibi YOU can do it!!!!!

There is no reason as to why you can not.

Read this...

www.birthinternational.com/articles/painlabour.html

And theres no such thing as not being allowed a VBAC. You have a choice and its your choice only.

I read lots of stories about homebirths, non intervention births on the net, all the pros and cons etc... and it really helped me get myself into that frame of mind where I could do anything and that my body was designed to have a baby.

[childrenchildreneverywhere]

I third the get a doula comment, doulas are invaluable when you are planning a VBAC - have a look on www.doula.org.uk and cost needn't be an issue (though it could be the best money you ever spend!) as we have a hardship fund and trainees work for reduced rates.

Join the Yahoo hbac/vbac support group or babycenter's VBAC support forum, read LOTS of inspiring books such as Ina Mae Gaskin's spiritual midwifery, Marie Mongan's "HypnoBirthing", Odent's "The Caesarean" and learn your right's Henci Goer's "The Thinking woman's guide to a better birth" is great here.

Consider what you will gain from your consultant appointment, you don't have to go!!, remember consultants are experts in abnormal birth, therefore you might be better seeing a senior midwife - a specialist in normal birth, remember it is your baby, your body and your birth you don't have to accept anything they offer to you (there's not such thing as "not allowed" in birth!).

Also, think about your place of birth very carefully, you might want to consider a homebirth for your optimum chances www.homebirth.org.uk

Lastly I would recommend debriefing your previous birth, either with a Doula, IM or your hospital's birth afterthought's service, it's the first step to regaining confidence in yourself and your ability to birth naturally.

HTH and good luck!

[phdlife]

Can anyone link to the AIMS site lulumama recommended?

[nina99]

Re. "Consider what you will gain from your consultant appointment, you don't have to go!!, remember consultants are experts in abnormal birth, therefore you might be better seeing a senior midwife - a specialist in normal birth, remember it is your baby, your body and your birth you don't have to accept anything they offer to you"
childrenchildreneverywhere:

It is sad you feel that you have to make such comments which tar all Obstetrician's with what may have been an unrepresentative poor experience!
We are not the 'enemy' you seem to suggest and many of us are very much in favour of encouraging and supporting mothers to consider VBAC. Many of us really DO work to support mother's to exercise their right to decide how they would like to have their delivery conducted.

What such comments do unfortunately succeed in doing is to undermine women's confidence in their Obstetrician. IM and Doula's are not the only guardian's of an expectant mother's right to choice and a fulfilling/safe delivery for her and her baby!

Consequently when on occasion REAL problems are occurring during the delivery a number of women are already prejudiced not to accept/trust the advice & judgements that they are being offered. I have unfortunately seen situations where unnecessary delays have resulted in very poor outcomes for the baby which could have been avoided had medical advice been heeded at an earlier stage and not viewed with suspicion at every turn.

Yes there are some Obstetricians that have a very regimented approach to managing all patient's who have had a VBAC in a very prescriptive way, but you will not help yourself unless you can try and have an open dialogue with your Obstetrician. If you find that there is too wide a gap in what you want and what they would recommend then ask for another Consultant so that you can reach some common ground and agreement. Then make sure these points are documented in your notes for the management of YOUR labour.

Deviations in a "normal" labour are likely to be referred to the Obstetric team oncall, it is not then ideal to start trying to engage in detailed discussions with antagonistic couples who have been given inflexible and sometimes unrealistic ideas of what consititutes the 'ideal birth' experience. I am not saying you cannot strive towards this but you have to also be able to recognise when nature is not going to let things proceed as you would have wanted and 'course correct' before it is too late to avoid major problems with life-long consequences.

You are much more likely to have a satisfactory birth experience if you have explored all the options and are aware of when interventions are likely to be 'recommended' durin labour (not forced upon you!) and what your options will be at that stage.

Mums be positive in your approach to labour and engage the team who are there to HELP and SUPPORT you through what should normally be a memorable,joyful and positive experience.
For a successful VBAC, confidence, motivation and a positive mental attitude are more than half the battle!

[phdlife]

nina99 it is nice to hear you defending obstetricians but I too am finding it hard to feel they are as supportive of me having a vbac as a MW. I don't think this means Obstetricians are "the enemy" - it just means they are trained to think and plan and respond in particular ways, and those ways are geared towards medical intervention. If women don't want medical intervention, or more accurately, if they don't want it at the same time the obstetrician decides (in my current hospital, that is strongly determined by pre-set guidelines, not by what's actually happening in the birth suite) then she does have to resist their urge to intervene - and that does not necessarily lead to a satisfactory birth experience.

And although I hear your point that interventions are recommended (not forced), like many other women I have experience of obstetricians offering me a choice, then deciding to do it their way anyway. That, frankly, doesn't feel like "support".

[timmette]

I am also facing the vbac scenario and I feel the need to say my consultant is outstanding and when I asked about a vbac she said there was no reason why not - and that is also written in my notes - all she asks is that I bear in mind I may have a verys small chance of needing a c section. She will do everything possible to help me have that a vbac . They are not all so bad.

[countrylover]

In my hospital the consultant all but said I MUST try for a VBAC! So, it can go both ways...

[robino]

I had a great VBAC 17 months after em CS. Without a doula. Would have quite liked a doula in the run up but OH said it would make him feel disempowered (must be said, he was bloody wonderful as a birth partner, both times). Lots of advice and support from VBAC thread when faced with stroppy consultant and midwives. Managed to outstrop (!) them - in the nicest possible way