Home birth issue - has anyone else come up against resistence when you feel there shouldn't be any? Sorry - long!

[electra]

I'm 31 weeks and have requested a homebirth. I have had mental health problems but at the moment my medication seems to be working well for me and my psychiatrist is happy with my condition. I'm under the care of a team who look after pregnant women and have a care plan for you for after you have delivered the baby, in case you develop a rare type of psychosis.

Today my psychiatrist said that as long as my condition is the same when I go into labour, she's quite happy for me to have the baby at home and she thinks I should be able to do what I prefer, especially as I live very close to the hospital and could transfer easily.

However, the midwife I see is being negative about the whole thing and it is starting to make me cross. Every time I speak to her she seems to be putting obstacles in the way of why I should have the baby in hospital - her reasons are;

• the baby looks small (I have had a growth scan and the outcome of that was that the baby is within normal range and has enough fluid around it) there was a little concern about the pressure of blood flow from the placenta but they don't feel that it's a big deal at this stage. I am going for a follow up in a week to see how things are then but at the hospital the doctor who looked at my notes was unconcerned. It looks as if the baby is likely to be at least 7 pounds so I don't see the immediate problem.
  
  
• I haven't put on enough weight. I've been more stressed in this pregnancy than I was in my other two so I haven't felt very contented.
  
  
• she's concerned about the drug I'm on and the effect on the baby. I asked my psychiatrist about this this morning and she said it will not present a problem as far as she is concerned
  
  Today my CPN asked me if she thinks people are viewing me based upon my 'label' and because of the stigma of having mental health problems. This midwife delivered dd2 5 years ago and is an advocate of home births and she treated me very differently when I was expecting dd2.
  
  I am now cross because the cynic in me just feels that she is judging me because of the difficulties I've had since dd2 and sees it as too much hassle / risk for her. I feel that if I want to have the baby at home I should be able to, unless there is a very good reason not to. If I need to transfer then I will without making a fuss but I do not want to be in a place where people are over worked, stressed and where it will be the luck of the draw who I get and what approach they have to childbirth unless there is a clear reason why I need to be.
  
  Anyone had this kind of thing before?

[electra]

Loopymumsy - thanks so much for your kind advice, I am sure that will be very useful!

[comparethePeachydotcom]

Have you tried AIMs? I was refused a HB because of 1 dodgy pregnancy (not, you note, birth!) despite 2 subsequent fine ones; AIMs helped me get my buirth (eesential due to care issues for 2 autistic ds's) and in April ds4 was born at home. I will geta link; contact them.

Also consider a doula, someone here might be able to help, mine was found on here and helped me feel confident in myself.

AIMs

[electra]

Thanks Peachy! This is really helpful

[comparethePeachydotcom]

Do think about the doula- I don't know your issues but havea dh with mental health problemsb and the things a doula gave me- a chance to talk things through, a voice, an advocate outside my marriageduring the labour are things hewould have benefitted fromif it had been him in labour

[ouchitreallyhurts]

At 39 weeks pg with my 4th I was suddenly told that I might not be able to have a hb (despite having one before) because i was on antidepressants.
i went to see an obs/gynae consultant who liaised with the head of neonatal and between us came up with a plan where my meds were reduced in line with the birth so that baby wasnt as likelt to suffer withdrawal but that they would be upped post birth for me.
i got my hb, dd4 was fine, i was fine.
it felt really crap having to fight for my rights at 39 wks but the consultant was supportive of hb due to my history of trauma during hospital birth - also if one suffers a mental illness they are more likely to feel less anxious at home!
I agree, contact AIMS as they are great - also this charity who work with mums who have mental illness during/before/after preg.

[Gemzooks]

electra, can't provide any concrete links but just from reading what you wrote, the midwife seems to be looking for any reason not to support your HB, the thing about you not putting on enough weight is really ridiculous.. it sounds as if she is searching for excuses. I would second those who've suggested a doula, I'm 34 weeks and going for a HB with DC2, and have hired a doula, it just gives you that extra security that someone impartial but on your side is there for you. I would stick to your guns, so what if you have had mental health problems, your psychiatrist has okayed it etc. If you couldn't cope psychologically with birthing at home for whatever reason, you could be transferred to hospital, just like if you couldn't cope physically. I would also imagine that you would feel better being at home, I felt very panicked in hospital with DC1 just being there. so good luck, stick to your guns and maybe try to get another midwife !

[racmac]

I had no end of reasons why i couldnt have hb - I had Gestational Diabetes apparently but i wasnt particularly big and i just ignored Consultant (after lots of discussions with my mw) and went ahead - my story is on homebirth site under diabetes - so i know how stressful it is - i just said Im having a hb tough get used to the idea!

I had 7lb 13oz baby at home no probs

[electra]

Thank you all so much for your supportive messages - it helps a lot. The midwife has been making me feel unreasonable for wanting a home birth but I think that as I'm the one who has to walk away at the end of it all I should be allowed to do a bit of damage limitation. I'm not anti-hospital but I know that I will be better at home. Another crappy reason this midwife came up with is that I refused routine anti-d in this pregnancy. I had my blood taken a few weeks ago and there are no antibodies...I think that was a cheek!

How much does it generally cost to hire a doula?

[nuttygirl]

Hi Electra,

I just wanted to add that I've come across this crappy attitude to mental health issues with my current pregnancy (tho not to the extent you have - i'm only 15 weeks). My mw wanted me to see a consultant because I had pnd after my last baby. Tbh I told her where she could stick it. It's up to you where you birth your baby and as long as you're making an informed choice they have to support you. It could be worthwhile writing/phoning the supervisor of midwives and explaining the situation.

A doula is a good idea - a trainee (through DoulaUK) is limited to charing £150. The others will vary up to about £500-ish. The most important thing is to find one you get on with by interviewing them. You should ask them questions about any specific issues you have when you interview them.

[electra]

Thanks nuttygirl. I am definitely going to look into getting a doula. I have also joined the group homebirth UK, where I got some good advice. Tomorrow I have my follow up scan and I am hoping the baby will have grown - it certainly feels as if it has!

I am thinking more and more that this is because I have 'bipolar' written in my notes and the midwife is misinformed about it. Actually I have found that a lot of people are behaving strangely towards me because of this label. It's very unfair but as far as my psychiatrist is concerned, I seem very well. So I am glad to have her support, at least.